Chapter 4

‎I knew I needed sleep. My body was screaming for it after more than twenty-four hours awake, but every time I closed my eyes, Heath’s face kept flashing behind them. Around three in the morning I gave up, dragged the contract papers to the couch, and started digging through them with my laptop open.

‎I went page after page. Every potential loophole I chased either required me to commit fraud or left Mum exposed the second Moore Holdings came looking. I could take the signing bonus and run, sure. Then what? They’d freeze the accounts and hunt down the money, but now I would have nowhere to hide. I laughed once, bitterly, at the image of myself trying to wheel Mum out of the ICU like some low-budget heist.

‎At some point the words blurred. I must have passed out because the next time I opened them, it was daytime.

‎~*~

‎I woke up around 2P.M. My phone was dead, so I couldn’t tell. When I finally powered it on, two missed calls and a string of texts from Jo lit up the screen.

‎Jo: Are you going to see mum today?

‎Kat?

‎I’m really starting to worry. Aunt Viv says you haven’t been up there.

‎Answer me or I’m calling Miss Periwinkle

‎I switched the phone off fast, before I could feel any more contrition. I couldn’t deal with this now.

‎For the next three hours I threw myself into job boards. This time, different roles, anything that might pay. I bent the truth on my CV more than I cared to admit and fired off seven applications. By five o’clock I had two callbacks.

‎The first woman sounded cheerful until I asked about the actual salary.

‎“Sorry, the portal hasn’t updated yet. It’s £20k, not the £45k advertised.”

‎I laughed so hard the woman on the other line went quiet. “Right. And health insurance?”

‎“It’s… open to discussion?”

‎I hung up and crossed it off. The second call was similar to the first too. Why did I even bother?

‎I was about to open another application when a knock sounded at the door.

‎I opened it to Miss Periwinkle. She was a short, plump woman in her late 50s or 60s, with salt-and-pepper hair pinned back with a bright clip that had seen better years.

‎“Kath-er-ine Hall! As I live and breathe. Jo told me you were back but I thought she was having me on. Look at you, love! All grown up.”

‎“Miss Periwinkle,” I said, managing a smile. “I only got in yesterday, but I wasn’t planning on making it public knowledge just yet.”

‎She pushed a Tupperware container into my hands. “Lemon shortbread. A bit wonky, I’m afraid. Jo messaged me right as I was taking them out the oven. She said you weren’t picking up and she’s proper beside herself. Asked me to pop round and check you’re not wasting away in there all alone.”, her head peeking beside me to look inside.

‎I felt heat crawl up my neck as I stepped to the left to block her view. “She really asked you to come over?”

‎“Well, of course she did, darling. That girl worries herself sick. She said you’ve been dodging her calls.” Miss Periwinkle tilted her head, her eyes softening. “Everything alright, love? You look like you’ve not slept a wink.”

‎“I’m fine. Just… jet-lagged and exhausted. Thank you for the biscuits. That was kind.”

‎She patted my arm. “You make sure you eat something proper. And go see your mum, eh? Family needs each other at times like this.” With one last bright smile and a wave, she toddled off down the path.

‎The second the door closed I reopened my messages.

‎Was that really necessary? Sending Miss Periwinkle??

‎Yes. Jo’s reply came in seconds. You won’t answer me and you won’t go see Mum. What else am I supposed to do from Manchester?

‎I’m handling it.

‎Handling it how? By pretending she’s not lying in a hospital bed? Aunt Viv says you still haven’t been up there. Kat, I’m begging you.

‎I said I’d go.

‎You also said you’d stop lying to me.

‎That’s not fair.

‎None of this is fair. But she’s OUR mum. Please. Just go. Even if it’s only for ten minutes.

‎Kat. Don’t make me beg any more than I already am. Go see her. For me, please.

‎The guilt started rising as I stared at the screen

‎Fine. I’m going now.

‎Thank you. Text me when you’re there. I love you.

‎Love you too.

‎~*~

‎I went to the hospital an hour later, immediately I stepped inside, my stomach felt like it had eaten dog food from a sewer. The smell from here made me want to run, but I had already gone all through the trouble of getting here, I might as well do what I came for. I headed to the store and got a sandwich and coffee for Aunt Viv, then forced myself I headed up to Mum’s floor.

‎I wasn’t going in. That was the deal I’d made with myself. Just look through the window and leave.

‎I dropped into the plastic chair outside the room, my legs felt like noodles. Ten minutes. I would spend ten minutes here and I could tell Jo I’d done it.

‎But the longer I sat there, the louder the machines beeped on the other side of the wall. My feet moved against my better judgment, and soon I was standing at the narrow window.

‎Mum looked tiny and pale. There were tubes everywhere. She just lay there, at first I couldn’t even recognize her, but the more my eyes stayed peeled on her, the more her face moulded into the woman I used to know.

‎Two hundred thousand pounds… it could save her

‎This could be fixed if I worked for Heath. My stomach twisted with that thought. To go back to him, to stand in front of him, to show I needed this job, it made me want to puke. I hated him. God, how I hated him. Yet some part of me still stirred at the thought of him, and I hated that too.

‎But if it meant she lived…

‎The thoughts crashed into each other, louder and louder. I didn’t realize when my hands had started tugging at my hair, and I was only breathing in shallow breaths.

‎After everything, going back would mean weakness, it would be handing him control again. Yet she’d come home. She wouldn’t have to die.

‎Aunt Viv came shuffling to the door. “Kat! You came.” She said taking the bag from me “Is that for me?”

‎“Yeah, it is” quickly I organized myself from my earlier. She didn’t catch it though it was clear she hadn’t slept all night. “Thought you might be hungry.”

‎She took it, then glanced back into the room. “Come inside, love. She’s stable. You should sit with her.”

‎“I… I wasn’t planning to stay. I just—”

‎But Aunt Viv was already gently tugging my arm, “None of that. You’re coming in."

‎The door clicked shut behind us. Stepping beside her, the full weight of the room hit me. I stood beside the bed for a long moment, then reached out and carefully touched the back of Mum’s hand. My fingers brushed her fragile hands, and at that moment everything cracked.

‎I wouldn’t say it out loud. Not yet. But in that moment, the decision locked into place.

‎I was taking the job.

‎I was walking back into Heath Moore’s world, because the alternative was losing her. And I couldn’t survive that.

‎I pulled the chair closer, sat down, and didn’t let go of her hand all night.

‎