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CHAPTER 43 - WHAT IT COSTS

Author: Dirty Diana
last update publish date: 2026-03-10 05:15:01

I drove to his apartment with my heart in my throat and every worst-case scenario playing behind my eyes – Rhys at Richard's office, Rhys on the phone screaming, Rhys doing the thing he always did when the world pressed too hard, which was press back harder and worry about the wreckage later.

He opened the door before I knocked. Like he'd been standing there. Like he'd been waiting for me to show up ever since he'd hung up, knowing I would, because that's what we did – we crashed toward each ot
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    Everything shifted after he said it.Not the dramatic, cinematic kind of shift where the lighting changes and the soundtrack swells. Subtler than that. The way he said my name was different. Naomi. Heavier now. Like the word had more rooms in it than it used to and he’d just moved furniture into all of them. He said it handing me coffee in the morning and it sounded like a whole sentence. He said it across the apartment while I was tying my hair up and it landed on my skin like a hand.Three words had changed the weight of my name in his mouth and I wasn’t sure either of us was ready for what that meant.We spent the morning doing something we’d never done before. Not arguing. Not the charged, electric push-pull that had defined us since the bar. We sat on his couch with our legs tangled and our laptops open and we showed each other the things we’d hidden.He went first. A folder on his desktop – no label, just a date. Essays he’d written and never submitted. A piece about the first t

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    Neither of us spoke for a long time.I sat in the chair across from the couch. Not next to him – he hadn’t moved since I’d come in, hadn’t shifted to make room, and his body was speaking a language I’d learned to read by now. Close but not touching. Present but not ready. So I gave him the space his silence was asking for, even though every part of me wanted to cross the room and put my hands on him and make this something I could fix by being close enough. But this wasn’t a closeness problem. This was a man sitting in the wreckage of being fully seen and trying to decide if the exposure was survivable.Minutes passed. Ten. Twenty. The apartment was so dark I could barely see his face but I could see his hands – gripping his knees, the same white-knuckle hold he used on the kitchen counter when the world was pressing too hard and he was trying to keep himself from pressing back.Then he looked up.His face was raw. Not from crying – from the effort of not crying. The effort of sitting

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    I sat in the driveway for eleven minutes before I could make my hands stop shaking long enough to turn off the engine.My mom's voice was still in my ears – how COULD you and I'm finally happy and fix it – playing on a loop that got louder every time I tried to think past it. I'd driven here becaus

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    He followed me home.I didn't invite him. Didn't ask. Just walked across campus with my arms wrapped around myself and the words captain's leftovers still ringing in my skull and Rhys Maddox three steps behind me like a shadow that refused to detach."I'm going back.""You're not.""One conversatio

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    Rhys got a B+ on the American Literature midterm.Three nights of flashcards and highlighters and him sprawled across his apartment floor complaining that Fitzgerald was "a rich drunk who wrote about other rich drunks" while I threatened to leave if he didn't focus. He'd focus for twenty minutes. T

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    I left at 5 AM like a coward.No note. No kiss on his forehead. No romantic morning-after moment where I make coffee in his shirt and we smile at each other across the kitchen like people who haven't just detonated their entire lives.I simply peeled myself out from under his arm one inch at a time

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