Farewell and moves of destiny

Dad came home Monday morning to find me and the kids passed out after drinking ourselves into oblivion. I don't know if I will ever be able to function or be normal again. The agony consumes me completely.

I go into my room after showering to try to sober up a bit. The guys have been coming every day and I am so grateful.....

When I open the drawer, I see the envelope Mom left me on top of my things, where I put it after I first picked it up. Instantly I feel my chest tighten at the thought of what might be inside. Surely it's a letter and the contents better not fuck me up any more than I already am.

I give up, open it and start reading. As I read, my hands clench and unclench as I'm overcome with a rage I've never known before. My mother committed suicide because.....

I clench my fists again as I think of all the things I missed out on because I was too busy with training or going to some party with the guys . There is a link to an online drive with the username and password on the letter, I grab my laptop and log in. The contents of what he has saved here causes such a fierce hatred to well up inside me that it takes over my whole being.

I look at all the pictures and read all the information he has compiled. By the time I finish, I am disgusted. I forget the pain. All I feel now is hate and I'm not sure anything can change that. It doesn't take me long to make up my mind about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to get revenge.

We are at the wake and I don't pay attention to anything the priest says because I can't take my eyes off her. I stand up and walk over to the casket, not caring if the service continues. I want to be closer to her. Looking at her from my seat is not enough.

I bend down and give her a kiss on the forehead before whispering, "I promise I will make them suffer as you have suffered in silence for so long. I love you, Mom," I tell her and give her another kiss on the forehead before getting back up.

When we arrive and her coffin is on the grave, the priest says his last prayer or whatever. When it's time to bury her, my knees shake and I fall to my knees as the pain in my chest takes over. My brothers hug me and rub my shoulders as I weep for her and what I have lost. When I manage to pull myself together, still on my knees, I look up. There, on the other side of the grave, right in front of me, is she. It seems I don't have to go anywhere because the lamb ripe for sacrifice has come to me.

The old Rayan is gone and I hope people are ready for the new me. Someone is about to wish they never existed.

Lia

Today is Monday, and I have exactly one more week to do nothing before school starts again. I can't believe summer ended so quickly. It was like I blinked and it was over.

But that's okay because I'm going to be a senior this school year, which means I'll be heading off to college soon.

I'm hungry, so I get out of bed and head to the kitchen to fix something to eat. I hope mom will be back soon. She's been working late all week and it seems like I've barely seen her.

When I walk into the kitchen, I'm surprised to find her already here. I stop in my tracks. She's standing in front of the window, staring back as if self-absorbed. She hasn't even let me know she's already home, and I find it odd. She always comes up the stairs shouting for me to know.

"Hi, Mom, are you okay?" I ask her walking into the kitchen. She doesn't answer for a minute and when she does, her words turn my world upside down. At that moment, however, I didn't know that those simple words would change the trajectory of my entire life, and not for the better either.

"I have news!" he announces casually. "We're moving!"

"What?" I cry out. Her words stun me. I must have misheard her, because we had never thought about moving anywhere and this all comes at me out of the blue.

"What do you mean we're moving?" I ask incredulously. I'm so out of my mind. Okay, maybe it's because things haven't been going so well for us for a while now. But this was my home and the thought of leaving the only place I've ever known isn't the best feeling.

The slightest change sometimes makes me feel like my world is falling apart. Sorry for the dramatics, but it's just.... I'm still remembering my mother's words.

"Exactly what I just said," she says sighing when she finally turns to look at me. I realize she looks tired, but it's not enough to stop me from complaining for a minute.

"It's not like I have that many friends to begin with, but still, it's beside the point. Any student in my situation would be going crazy like I am right now. Everyone knows how crazy it is to transfer so late to a new school.

"I'm sorry honey, but this is important. The CEO called me to tell me that I would have to transfer. They have an opening in their Riverside office and it needs to be filled immediately. Besides, it will be a great opportunity for me."

"We're moving to Texas?" I ask to make sure I heard her correctly. "To Texas, in the middle of nowhere?"

"It's not in the middle of nowhere. It's a very populated Texas town and they're really into soccer and stuff. You'll fit right in," he tells me, rolling his eyes.

"Because I've always been really into soccer," I grumble. Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. "Besides, when have I ever fit in anywhere, Mom? I'm a typical nerd."

"Come on, you're not a nerd . Besides, it'll be a nice change of scenery after all you've been through..." she says, curtly .

I know she was about to say everything that happened between her and Dad. ugh! Just thinking about my father makes my eyebrows arch and a pained expression crosses my face and wells up in my chest again. My parents loved each other, or so I thought.

I let out a sigh because I know I won't oppose her if that's what she really wants. She deserves some happiness, and if moving out of state will bring it to her, who am I to stop her or stand in her way?