57. VANYA

What are monsters?

The imaginary creatures we were sure hid under our beds? Were they the creatures that the authors and filmmakers created? Maybe the stories told to scare us were monsters in their own way? Or maybe the adults who told us those stories were the real monsters?

A monster was cruel and evil.

A monster was someone who found joy in hurting others. Like those men who hid in the shadows, waiting for a woman or man to come along. A monster was someone who killed without a second thought.

I sniffed and reached up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t pull my eyes away from the group of kids in the alley below me. I had spotted them the moment they entered. One of them had pulled out a knife and was busy dissecting a dead animal.

Are they monsters?

The moment the kid had pulled out the knife, I had thought of Obsidian, and then my mind had trailed to Devrim and Ezra.

I hadn’t seen them in weeks.

As soon as the doctor had given me a clean bill of health, I had left and moved back into my apartment. I needed space and I wasn’t going to get it at their house. I wasn’t ready to face Obsidian yet.

The day after I got back to the apartment, I had decided to head over to the library to grab a few books to read while I healed. Everyone had been staring at me as I walked down the streets. I couldn’t handle the way they looked at me or the whispers. I couldn’t handle being around people at the moment.

My father was in jail, and Joy was trying to take control of everything. I hadn’t seen or heard from her, but I knew it was only a matter of time.

Ezra stopped by, but I never opened the door for him.

I just needed time to think without them influencing me, but I hated being alone.

I knew I was safe, because Obsidian had killed the bastard, but every little thing made me think of Mike. I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares. Sometimes, it would be about Mike; other times, it was about Obsidian attacking me again.

Unconsciously, I raised my hand and pressed it to the scar on my shoulder.  

I almost died because of Obsidian.

Didn’t he do what he needed to get you out of there? He saved you from getting killed.

Shaking my head, I got up and walked over to the kitchen to switch on the kettle. I made myself some tea and carried the cup to my bedroom. My eyes darted around my messy room and then dropped to my bed.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept through the night.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I stared at the cup I had placed down on my bedside table. I didn’t feel like drinking it anymore. Letting out a sigh, I laid down on my side and pulled a pillow to my chest.

I just want to get some sleep.

***

My body jerked upright in bed.

I held my breath as I sat frozen and listened carefully. At first, I heard nothing, but a second later, I heard the soft click of my apartment door closing, followed by footsteps.

Scrambling off the bed, I picked the cup of tea up and threw it at the intruder when my bedroom door opened.

“What the hell?”

My knees weakened and the air left my lungs in a rush. Tears filled my eyes and spilled over when I realized who it was.

Shirt drenched in cold tea, Devrim straightened and raised his head to look at me. His lips parted, but no words escaped. Swallowing, he reached up and wiped some of the tea droplets from his cheek.

“Vanya,” he finally muttered.

I swallowed… once, twice, and then took a step forward, but my legs gave way beneath me. He was there instantly, catching me and pulling me against his chest.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “Fuck, rosebud. I’ve missed you so much.”

A sob fell from my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him.

God, I missed them.  

Devrim’s hands slid to the back of my thighs and gripped them as he lifted me against his body and guided my legs around his hips. I raised my head to look at him.

Our eyes locked, but his darted away to watch where he was going.

A moment later, my ass was placed down on the counter next to the basin. I reluctantly lowered my arms when he stepped back. With his eyes darting over my face, he gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head and then grabbed a hand towel and opened the tap to wet the end.

“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “You scared me.”

Devrim gave me a crooked smile. “I’ll take tea over vomit any day. It smells a lot better.”

“Vomit?” I frowned at him, but Devrim didn’t answer.

He wiped his chest, neck, and face with the wet tip of the towel and placed it aside before moving to stand between my legs.

“I came here to take you home, Vanya,” he said.

I blinked at him, completely unprepared. “W-what?”

“I know you want space.” He paused. “I know it’s a human thing. After what happened, I can understand why you’re distancing yourself from us, but it’s been long enough, rosebud. We need you. I can’t live without you for another day—not me, and especially not Obsidian.”

I flinched and pulled away from him, but he wouldn’t let me. Devrim gripped my hips and pushed me back onto the counter before stepping closer, making it impossible for me to move.

“Fuck, Vanya. Why do you hate him? Why do you fear him?”

My eyes dropped to his chest when tears welled up.

“Vanya?” He cupped my cheeks and tilted my head back so our eyes locked. “Obsidian did what he needed to get you out. If he hadn’t, then Mike would’ve killed you himself.”

“I-I know t-that.”

“Then what’s the problem?” One hand slid to the back of my neck. “Obsidian would never—”

“He hates me!” I yelled. “I saw the way he looked at me. He hates me! I tried to e-explain w-why I had the cameras, but I knew he wasn’t going to listen. He thinks I’m—”

“Obsidian knew about the cameras, Vanya,” Devrim interrupted.

He knew? 

My brows dipped and my mouth dropped open.

Devrim sighed, making my eyes snap up to his. “You found him in your bedroom?”

I nodded.

“He was there to check the bag.”

“I don’t… how?”

He licked his lips and reached up to run a hand through his hair as his eyes darted over my face.

“You know how paranoid he is?”

I nodded.

“That day your father gave you the bag, he found out about it. Obsidian and I both knew about the cameras, Vanya. Obsidian checked the bag every day to make sure that you haven’t used any of them.”

“I-I haven’t,” I told him. “I—”

“I know,” he muttered. “We know.”

I leaned forward and dropped my forehead against his shoulder and closed my eyes. He knew. They knew the whole time. Obsidian hadn’t given anything away at all. He never let it slip that he knew about it.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered.  

Devrim pressed his cheek to my ear and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. “I know him well enough to know that he wanted to test you. Obsidian wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t betray us. It’s why he never said anything.”

“Oh.”

“Vanya,” Devrim said after a minute of silence. “I need you to come home with me. Obsidian…”

My head snapped up and concern filled me. “W-what’s wrong with Obsidian?”

Devrim swallowed and hesitated. “Obsidian’s sick.”