Chapter 3

Cody

I couldn’t resist driving past where her folks live, I have to see her even if she doesn’t want to see me. My heart has never hurt before, never like this in any case. Sure, when I was a kid and our pet dog passed away, I was beside myself. He and I were buddies, like best buddies and my folks had brought Luka home when he was just twelve weeks old, and I was around the age of two.

Luka and I had formed a bond from an early age and that dog was my entire life. Everywhere I went he came with me except to the rink. He slept with me at night on my bed and boy could that dog snore. Dad used to say we were inseparable and for the most part we were. It wrenched my heart out when I lost him, and it took me a long time to get over the loss of him.

Some days, it still gets to me. You can’t love an animal like Luka the way I did and not have shit days over his loss even seven years on. So, when I say my heart is shattered over Immi, trust me it seriously is.

I’ve parked up opposite her house, yes, yes, yes. I know I should be on my way to the airfield and be getting my ass on that plane and be with the team, but my entire focus is on seeing Immi. I just want to catch a glimpse of her, to see her smile on her face, the way her body moves when she’s walking and that gorgeous auburn hair of hers, as it falls across her face.

My phone keeps beeping with messages, but I’ve ignored every single one. Firstly, I don’t ever check my mobile when I’m driving. You’d be a fool to do so, I love my life too much to have an accident all because of a text message. Secondly, I have no interest in taking calls or reading messages from coach or Atlas right now.

I see movement and watch as she comes out of the door. My breath catches and the lump in my throat forms solid again. Damn it, how many tears am I going to spill over Immi. An ocean is my guess.

Immi raises her head and looks straight at me. I raise my hand on the steering wheel and give her the briefest of waves. She stands stock still like she has seen a ghost. Should I get out? I should.

Slowly, I open the door to the car, but she quickly makes a dash for her car, opens the driver’s side and slides in. My heart is racing in my chest, it’s beating so fast, it’s at risk of coming out of my body. I feel sick. Why wouldn’t she just wave back? Why wouldn’t she wait to hear me out?

I want to tell her how much I love her; how much I can’t wait the three full months to see her again. Surely the month has been long enough for her too. You don’t have what we have or had and then wipe it away under the carpet.

I need to explain to her that having a kid in my life isn’t going to change the way I feel about her. Luna won’t affect us. Least ways I hope not but knowing that girl she could get up to just about anything. There isn’t a whole lot I can do about the posts she keeps putting out displaying her baby bump and constantly telling everyone whose kid it is. The number of followers she has now got is going right off the Richter scale. It’s nuts. Absolutely fucking nuts.

And in the meantime, it’s Immi and I who are suffering. I want to feel her in my arms, to tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me. I bang my hand on the steering wheel and start the engine up again. I have to get to the airfield where no doubt coach is going to be waiting and give me some earache. I’ve had enough of my management team and coach constantly on my back. They know exactly what I’m going through right now, and I need their support not their griping at me constantly.

Although, this game I do need to watch my fists. I haven’t got any manoeuvrability on the ice with the game against Winnipeg. We’re on the home run for the semi-finals and if I fuck it up, that will put us out of the running for the cup. I don’t think I could live it down if I put the team in this position and Immi would also know and that would make things even worse.

I have nobody to talk to. Atlas, her brother just says I have to give her more time. He says I need to stick out the three months and that Immi needs the space. She has a lot going on with starting up her new business, but I want to be there for her every step of the way. Damn it. I sigh out of frustration and pain. I’m physically in pain being away from her.

Immi pulls her car off the drive in front of her folks one-storey house and easily manoeuvres it to take a right and head into town. My guess is she’s going to the restaurant. From what Atlas says and Calli, who has stayed good friends with her; she intends to move in the space above the restaurant in a few days or a week’s time.

It'll be good for her to have her own space that’s for sure. Knowing Immi how I do and how free spirited she is, I know that being at home could kind of suck for her. She’s used to doing her own thing and having lived in New York for a few years, she will no doubt be feeling it at home right now.

I’m pleased I organized the painters to go into the unit she is taking on and give it a fresh lick of paint and for the electrics and plumbing to be updated. It’s one less thing for her to worry about.

I’ve been following her on I* and thankfully she hasn’t blocked me. It’s like an umbilical cord, the only way I can keep abreast of what she is doing and how her restaurant plans are coming on.

I saw an advert she put out for a chef to join her. I thought she had some girl starting to help her in the evenings but when I asked Atlas, he said she couldn’t commit anymore due to college work. That is understandable, I mean I only just managed to keep my grades up around my hockey schedule and training.

A call comes through my car system. I can see on my screen it’s Atlas. Fuck it. I press the button to speak with him. Again. “Man, where the fuck are you? Coach is spewing. He’s losing it.”

“On my way.”

“You said that twenty minutes ago.” Atlas sounds pissed off; I get that.

“I had something to take care of. Seriously, I’m on my way there now. I’ll be max. fifteen minutes. Tell him there was some kind of family emergency.” I tell Atlas keeping my eyes focused on the roads in front and urging myself not to follow Immi to her restaurant. God, I want her so badly.

Instead, I take the left turning up ahead, then a sharp right bypassing the town and taking me out along the wide roads towards the airfield. The mountains are in view, and here in Minnesota they sure do look pretty and magnificent as they dominate the landscape.

“That’s not going to wash. He is losing his friggin shit right now.” I exhale and inhale trying to control myself. I couldn’t give a flying fuck right now about the game or flying to Winnipeg. I just want to go after Immi and pull her into my arms and hold her tight and never let her go.

“I’ll be there. We’ve got time. He needs to chill out some. See you soon. Hanging up now.” I press the button on my screen to end the call and rest my head against the car seat.

Life really fucking sucks right now.