Chapter 2

Imogen

It doesn’t totally suck being back with my folks, it’s just you know, not what I had anticipated. Still, it is only another week, and I can move into the unit above my restaurant.

Dad has been a life saver. There wasn’t too much we needed to do, the owners had made sure it was all cleaned and with the fresh paint, all I really needed to do was put my touch on it and it’s already looking like a proper girl’s den. It’ll be my den.

I also met with the bank manager here in town and he has put me on a programme where I can get a grant for certain things, we’re going to install a solar system to eventually bring costs down for electric and dad said it would be better for me to go off grid for gas because it was cheaper than having the standard monthly rates.

I’m currently in my childhood bedroom laying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling where my fairy lights are still hanging. And you know what, my heart still hurts after a whole month of being away from Cody. God, I miss him with every part of my body. It’s like someone has put their hand through my stomach and wrenched out my guts and my heart.

The loneliness engulfs me, and tears slide down from my eyes to my cheeks. I don’t bother to wipe them away. Part of me wants to cave in and just see him again. Why I said three months I have no idea. It’s such a damn long time but he has shit to sort out now that he knows for sure the baby is his. That saddens me too because that girl, Luna, she will be part of his life forever.

He has sent me so many texts to say that he never slept with her whilst he was with me, that he did sleep with her. At least he didn’t deny that. Only it was in the same week that he first started seeing me. I’m still hurt though you know, because he already liked me. I know I’m being a bit pathetic about this so shoot me. Only, I don’t like the thought of him having shagged somebody then a few days later being with me. I know, I know. It happens and it happened to us, but it still sucks like fuck in my book.

Then there is the whole damn baby business. He is going to be a father and it’s going to have a massive impact on his life and of course if I go back to him, on mine. Am I ready to be some kind of step whatever to a kid? I’m way too young, I’m only in my early twenties, I’ve got a business I want to get off the ground, I have dreams of opening another restaurant the other side of town and I’d love to have a whole branch of my restaurants popping up around this side of the country. Is that too much to ask for? I don’t think so. If one does well and then the next one and the one after, then there is no reason why I can’t try to franchise them out.

Gordon Ramsey had to start somewhere. I wipe my tears away, betting my mascara has run. I don’t buy expensive mascara so I know it will have done. Not like Autumn who buys everything by Estee Lauder or Coco Chanel. She’s a definite brand whore that is for sure.

Speaking of who, I haven’t heard from her for a couple of days. She has been given the VP position, but then that was given with all the hard work she had done for the company she works for and the hours which are long. Being a realtor means she has to work extremely long hours, it’s not just the time she puts in at the office but also the dinners she has to attend.

It makes me tired just thinking about the hours she keeps. I reach for my mobile and go to click on her number then stop. Am I really in the mood to speak with anyone today? Atlas told me that the guys are off to play in Winnipeg and leave today. My stomach drops, that means that Cody won’t even be close. He’ll be in a completely different State.

I sigh and my heart lurches again. I could have been going with them and wearing Cody’s jersey and watching him play on the ice. There is so much shit in my head and heart that I need to work out first. The thought of Luna hanging around makes me feel physically sick.

I’ve seen so many posts from her shouting out about how Cody is the daddy of her unborn child, how he has accepted it. Hell, there was even a press conference that he had to do to confirm he was the father of the child. Can’t these women be bought off? Although, knowing Cody the way I do know him, he will want to do the right thing by her. He’ll want to be a proper father to his kid just like his daddy was to him, and his grandpa to his dad. It’s the way he is wired.

And I know he’ll be an amazing father, he is caring, gentle, patient and kind. Sure, he has his moments but they are few and far between, except lately on the ice. Yeah, I can’t help myself I follow him on social just to look at him, to see those blue eyes of his but all I see is pain and anger.

The amount of shots people have posted out of him being in the sin-bin and lashing out on the ice is scary. It makes me sad to know that I am the one who has caused him the pain and the pain to myself.

I just can’t face him right now, don’t ask me to explain why not. I simply can’t. Part of me wants to so badly and the other part is stopping me. Autumn says I need to follow my heart and that everything will work out, but how can it?

The guy is going to be a dad, Luna will be constantly in our lives and I have a business to get off the ground. I already feel maxed and stressed out with how much I have to do. Don’t get me wrong, I want this with my whole heart, yet it is still overwhelming.

I’m looking forward to moving in above the restaurant and making that space mine and having all the light flood through the windows. Mom has been busy making me some gorgeous patchwork scatter cushions, all pinks, and blues and also a matching bed throw. It’s going to have a kind of cosy, cottage vibe going on.

We went to a flea market the other week and I managed to find some vases that would fit in with the scheme and the best thing, a retro standing lamp. One of those ones that are stainless steel and curve over with a big stainless steel dome light head. It’s an original and I got it for under forty dollars. It was a bargain.

I’m setting up an area in the lounge space by one of the arched windows as my reading nook. Dad has bought me a large fluffy, pale pink bean bag for the corner and Atlas has given me vouchers for Button’s shops on the hight street where I have my eye on a beautiful mahogany, square table. There’s a matching bookcase I want to get for all my books. Only, I do have a lot of books so I may need to put a bookcase or some shelving up in the bedroom too.

“Darling, do you want to come down for lunch?” I hear my mom call up from downstairs. I can smell something, and my stomach rumbles. I have to eat. To be honest, the first ten days after I walked out on Cody, I hardly ate a thing. I just couldn’t face it, all I did was mope around, cry and go over to the restaurant to make plans with my dad to keep myself busy. When I began to feel dizzy and faint way too many times than I cared for, I decided I had to get my shit well and truly together.

“Be there in a minute, Mom.” I shout down and raise myself off the bed. I head for my ensuite bathroom and take a look in the mirror. Yep, I look like shit. Total shit. My mascara in true form, has run down my cheeks. Great, so now I look like something off a Ziggy Stardust record cover. Dad has one, which his how I know about that.

I reach for my baby wipes and clean my face and apply some moisturizer. Autum makes these amazing concoctions with different oil blends; this one has some orange in it and smells revitalizing. Not bothering with make-up, I refasten my hair in a big clip so it’s off my face and turn to head downstairs.

“I made a salad with some spinach quiche.” Mom says as I enter the kitchen. I spy a sponge cake on the side, mom loves to bake. When it comes to Thanksgiving her, and Cody’s mom go nuts for baking. As kids, Atlas and I would always be licking out the mixing bowls and the wooden spoons at our house and over at Cody’s when his ma was baking too. Of course, mom doesn’t leave the bowl for me anymore, but you know, I sure could do with some now for a bit of comfort.

“How you feeling?” She asks me. I shrug my shoulders.

“Same as before, Mom. I’m just so confused is all. My heart is breaking for him and I know he’s probably feeling the same, but I don’t know how I really feel about him having a kid and Luna. The whole thing has me running scared.” I sit down at the island as mom slices some quiche for me and places on the white plate where she’s already put the mixed salad on.

“It’s going to take a while, darling. It’s a lot to absorb. One minute it’s just the two of you in your bubble and only having to deal with him being drafted from Minnesota to Dallas, which would be tough enough doing a long-distance relationship, but a kid now on the scene. Phew. It even makes me dizzy.” She says with a smile.

“Can I have a hug, Mom please.”

“Absolutely.” Mom comes to where I am sitting and wraps her arms around me. I inhale her lavender fragrance and tuck right into her, my head on her shoulder.

“I miss him so much, Mom. I really do but I just don’t know if I can handle it.”

“Everyone is wired differently, honey. You need to do what’s best for you right now. I realize your heart is in pieces, but you have a business you need to start up, you have your own responsibilities right now. Maybe, you need to stick to the three months. Give him time to get over to Dallas and settle in and get his head around the fact he’s going to be a daddy.”

“You’re right I know you are but maybe I could do both things.”

“It’s up to you, sweetheart but you must make yourself a priority, Immi not anyone else. When is the baby due?” Mom asks as we release from our cuddle.

“Erm, thirty weeks I think.”

Mom looks like she is thinking. “You may be back together by then; you also have to consider Cody will be in Dallas.”

“So much to think about, right.” I say and Mom nods her head.

I decide to eat my lunch and that I’ll head over to the restaurant and take a look at what else I may have missed off my plan. The girl I was going to have help me with the meals can no longer help out which is a massive bummer since she was going to use the money to sub her college fund. I do, however, have a few candidates coming in for interviews over the next few days.

My other pain in the ass is that Cody Brannigan, was supposed to be coming to my grand opening and now he may not. I could still ask him and I know he would do literally anything for me, but then I know exactly what’ll happen. We won’t be able to resist each other, our hands will touch, electricity will pass through our bodies, and nothing will be resolved, we’ll be back in bed with each other before you can say boo to a ghost.

“I’m going to head to the restaurant, Mom.” I pick my plate up off the island and take it to the dishwasher.

“Okay sweetheart, probably do you good to be busy.” She takes it from me and places it with hers in the dishwasher.

“Thanks for lunch, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.” I give mom a kiss on her cheek and head to the front door, picking up my house keys. It’s a nice fall day so I’m going to walk, it’ll only take twenty minutes or thirty minutes tops and I could do with the fresh air to clear the cobwebs away.

What I don’t expect is to see a familiar silver Rolls Royce SUV parked up opposite the house.