Mag-log inChapter 379XENOIS"I know," I said, putting my arm around her carefully. "I miss her too. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of pack business and think 'Xena would have a funny comment about this' and then I remember she's gone and it hits me all over again.""Does it get easier?" she asked. "Does the missing ever stop hurting?""No," I said honestly. "But you learn to carry it better. You learn that grief and love are two sides of the same coin. That missing her means she mattered. That the pain is proof of how much we loved her."We sat together in the quiet, both crying now, both holding each other while we mourned the person we'd lost.I'd spent so much of the last five years angry at my mother. Angry for what she'd done to Lumina, angry for how she'd manipulated me, angry for the way she'd let her grief poison everything around her.But sitting here, listening to her break down and admit her failures and show me the raw wound that had never healed—I understood her better. Understoo
Chapter 378XENOIS"I tried to make it right," she continued. "Samuel and I found Sophia. We tortured her for information about Riley, about the facility, about everything she'd done. And then we burned her alive. We told ourselves it was justice, that Xena deserved that revenge. But really, it was just more violence. More pain. More proof that we'd learned nothing from the wars except how to hurt people efficiently.""That's not—" I started, but she cut me off."When Jerome captured us, when I was chained in that cell waiting to die, part of me thought it was karma," she admitted. "That the universe was finally making me pay for all the terrible things I'd done. To enemies during the wars, to Lumina after Xena died, to all the people I'd hurt because I was too angry to see clearly. I thought I was going to die there, and I'd have to face Xena and explain why I'd become such a monster after losing her."Her voice broke completely now, tears streaming down her face unchecked."But then
a\n: I cried during this sceneChapter 377XENOISI hadn't planned to visit Xena's grave today. But after lunch, after watching Shawn try so hard to fit into a family he didn't quite believe wanted him, I felt the pull to come here. To the place where my sister rested, where I could talk to her without anyone else listening.The cemetery was quiet, tucked away on pack lands in a grove that had always been reserved for fallen pack members. Xena's headstone was simple—she would have hated anything ostentatious. Just her name, her dates, and the words "Beloved daughter, sister, and pack member."Five years. She'd been gone five years, and sometimes it still felt like yesterday that I'd gotten the call. That I'd found her body. That my world had shattered into pieces I was still trying to put back together.I knelt beside the grave, brushing away leaves that had accumulated since my last visit."Hey, Xena," I said quietly. "Sorry it's been a few weeks. Things have been... complicated. The
Chapter 376XENOIS"So I'm stuck with only one setting?" Shawn asked."Or you learn to work within that limitation," Lynn said. "Use distance to modify impact. Full power blast at close range for maximum damage, full power blast at extended range for reduced impact due to dispersion.""That makes sense," Shawn said slowly.I cleared my throat, announcing my presence. Both of them turned."Sorry to interrupt," I said. "Lynn, could I borrow Shawn for a few minutes?""Of course," Lynn said. "We were finishing up anyway. Good work today, Shawn. Your control is significantly better than it was a week ago."Shawn looked pleased by the praise. He followed me out of the training room and into the hallway, his expression shifting to uncertain."Did I do something wrong?" he asked."No," I assured him. "I just wanted to talk. Actually talk, not just pass each other in hallways or exchange pleasantries during meals.""Oh," Shawn said. "Okay."We walked in silence for a moment, neither of us qui
Chapter 375XENOIS "That sounds healthy and emotionally intelligent," Lumina said approvingly."I have my moments," I said.My phone buzzed again. Another message. I braced myself for more bad news.But this time it was from Alpha Chen. Not withdrawing, but explaining. His elder council had pressured him to leave the coalition, but he'd managed to negotiate a compromise. He would maintain informal cooperation—sharing intelligence, coordinating on specific threats—without formal coalition membership.It was something. Not as good as full membership, but better than complete isolation.I showed Lumina the message. "Maybe we can salvage this. Convert formal coalition into informal networks. Cooperation without official structure. Harder to target that way.""Harder to coordinate too," she pointed out."Better than nothing," I said.Over the next hour, three more alphas reached out with similar compromises. They couldn't maintain public coalition membership without elder council revolt,
Chapter 374XENOIS Before I could send it, another message came through. Then another. Then a third.Alpha Chen was pulling out. So was Alpha Rodriguez. And Alpha Thorne.Four alphas—half of the new additions we'd gained through my parents' manipulation—were withdrawing from the coalition less than a week after joining."Fuck," I breathed."That's not good," Lumina observed unnecessarily.I started making calls immediately. Tried to reach Morrison, got his voicemail. Tried Chen, got a secretary who told me he was unavailable. Rodriguez at least answered, but only to tell me that her elder council had overruled her decision and she couldn't maintain coalition membership without their support."This was a mistake," she said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "I should have consulted my elders before agreeing to coordinate with outsiders. My mother pushed me to join without proper consideration of pack sentiment.""Pack sentiment that could get you killed if Jerome's coalition attacks," I







