7. Echoes of the Past

Lyra

Selene’s eyes blazed as she stormed toward me, her heels clicking sharply against the stones. 

“What did you do to him, Lyra? Shouldn't you be protecting the man you love?” She hissed, rushing to Damon’s side, who lay sprawled a few feet away, groaning.

“You should be asking what he tried to do to me,” I replied coolly, brushing dust off my dress. 

“Lyra, what happened to you? Why have you changed so much?” Selene accused.

"I haven't changed Selene. I just discovered that…” I stopped.

What was the need to trying to justify myself to them? 

My heart was pounding, not just from the effort of throwing Damon, but from the painful familiarity of the scene. In another lifetime, it was me where he was. I was on my knees bleeding and begging the two of them were looking down on me laughing.

“She’s jealous, Selene,” Damon spat, clutching his ribs dramatically. “She saw us talking, and maybe she thought…”

“Jealous? Me? Jealous?” I echoed, cutting him off with a dry laugh. “I broke up with you, Damon. Have you forgotten and it hasn't even been twenty four hours? I told you I never wanted to see your face again. What part of that suggests jealousy? I already told you to stay away from me and if you don't listen, I will beat you every time I see you.”

Selene hesitated, her grip on Damon tightening. She thought she had hidden her feelings well but now that I didn't have the haze of love coveting my eyes, I could clearly see it.

I wondered how I never saw all the tells in my previous life.

I tilted my head at her, voice calm but laced with venom. 

“You are the one who should be worried, Selene. If you think he still wants me, maybe you are the one feeling threatened.”

“Don’t twist this,” Selene snapped. Damon loves you and we all thought that you were joking when you said you didn't want him. Selene, hasn't Damon been good to you? You have changed so much. Maybe you should stop chasing men that don't want you and come back to the man who wants you.”

A flicker of something, something raw, crossed her face. She had forgotten herself. That anger wasn’t for me… it was for Damon. And I saw it. She loved him, even now, but was trying to keep playing the game.

“Enough, Selene,” Damon muttered, struggling to stand. “Let’s go.”

She hesitated, still staring at me, torn between rage and confusion, pretence or truth. Then, with her arm under Damon’s, she helped him limp away.

“Stay away from me,” I warned them as they turned. “This is your only chance.”

I watched them disappear into the dark, the echo of my own heartbeat loud in my ears.

***

Back inside the ballroom, the music seemed too loud, the laughter too artificial. I took a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and found a quiet corner table away from the dance floor.

I sipped the drink, letting its coolness ground me. But my mind wandered.

Killian.

His stormy eyes. The way they pierced through me with equal parts longing and hurt. The pain in his voice when he said he didn’t believe me. And why should he?

I set the glass down and closed my eyes. The past clawed its way into my mind uninvited.

***

It had been just after my engagement to Damon.

Killian had asked to speak with me, and like a fool, I had agreed, even knowing what he wanted to say. We met in the gardens behind the castle.

“Lyra,” he said softly, “are you sure about Damon?”

I had scoffed. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you used to laugh like that with me,” he said, eyes clouded. “Because you had once promised me forever too.”

I looked away. “I have made my choice, Killian.”

He stepped closer, eyes pleading. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t know him like I do. He doesn't love you Lyra. Not the way I do.”

I remembered turning, looking at Damon who was watching us from a distance, arms crossed and with that smile that I thought was meant for my well being. 

“I think I know him better than you ever could,” I said, voice cutting.

“Do you?” Killian asked gently.

I smiled, cruel, rehearsed. “You were a moment, Killian. Damon is my destiny. Even if you were my given mate, I can't deny my feelings for Damon. I love him but I don't love you.”

His face fell. He nodded once, then walked away.

I laughed loudly then, for Damon’s benefit. And later that night, I had kissed Damon in front of the entire pack, sealing the betrayal.

What a fool I had been.

***

A tear slid down my cheek before I could stop it. I quickly wiped it away, but more followed, unbidden, unstoppable.

Pain. I was now experiencing the same pain I had made Killian go through. I was such a fool. No wonder I had died. I think I deserved it.

Killian had loved me. Truly. And I had humiliated him, discarded him like he was nothing. And for what? For a man who had plotted my death? For a man who smiled down at me as he poured concentrated sulphuric acid down my throat? 

I didn’t deserve his forgiveness. Or his love. I know I didn't. I had hurt him enough and I wouldn't hate him if he didn't forgive me. In fact, I wouldn't forgive myself either.

A shadow fell across the table and a gentle voice said, “Lyra?”

I looked up, startled, wiping my eyes quickly. My cheeks burned with shame.

“I’m fine,” I said too fast, blinking the last of the tears away. “Just... something in my eye.”

But I knew they had seen. Whoever it was, they had seen the cracks in the mask I had so carefully rebuilt.

And the past , the one I had buried, was no longer willing to stay dead.