Lila was not the woman I knew. No, the woman before me was a little girl—wide-eyed, smiling, full of bouncing, hyper energy and wonder.We were starting out our trip in the Magic Kingdom bright and early. Her attention was all over the place as she took in Main Street. When we were almost to the end, I pulled the map from my back pocket.I didn’t even get to ask where she wanted to go before she nearly tugged my arm out of the socket and I tripped over my feet, almost face-planting onto the stone below. Her pace was almost a run, her gaze fixed on one thing in front of her. She was practically dragging me on her quest.When I looked up, I saw what had her so excited—Cinderella’s Castle. It was the iconic Disney view. She blew past people, only to stop in front of it and stare. I wrapped my arms around her waist and stood behind her, cradling her against my chest.“It’s so pretty.” Her voice was low, reverent almost.I nodded against her shoulder. It was what had given me t
Lila was stuck in a strange state between relief and fear for the weeks following the trial. Adam had been found guilty on all charges, but there was still sentencing to go. She was teetering on an edge, and I knew things would tip when the ruling came down.Our little getaway helped, but the countdown to sentencing was excruciating. We were both ready for it to be done, over. Put the crap in the past and move on to the future.“Lunch today?” Lila asked as we rode the elevator up to the office.My face scrunched up a bit at the uncertainty in her tone. “Of course. Why wouldn’t we?”She looked down to the floor. “I just didn’t know what your schedule looked like.”“Sunny with a chance of afternoon Honeybear.” I winked at her.That got a smile to peek out and an elbow into my ribs. The damn dark cloud was washing over her again. The effect it had on her was hell to watch, and harder every day to combat.One fucking day left before Adam’s blackness wouldn’t be able to touch
Lila was different. That was the only word I could come up with to describe the change. Over the past few days, she’d shed a lot of the crap that held her back for years. It always dwelled in the back of her mind, ever since she left her father’s house—when will he come for me?The unsurmountable weight that pressed upon her was lifted. Chains that held her down released, shedding away the girl like a cocoon and opening up the woman inside. Adam was going to be in jail for a long time, and the judge had approved the restraining order on her father.It was the first time in over a year I felt like my words really penetrated her. After years of suffering, others finally saw the monster that Adam was. It was validation.Life returned to its normal pace. It was hard to believe how fast the days were passing. Even more unbelievable was how even we were—no more ups and downs. I was thankful for the change, for the monotony of getting up, going to work, and coming home with my wife
The next day, I was a wreck.Meeting Tom was a mistake.Granted, it wasn’t like I planned to run into him. That was what made it worse. If Marconi had someone watching us at that moment, I was screwed. It was a chance meeting that could get Lila killed.An innocent fucking errand that brought the devil down.After what Noah told me, I knew it wasn’t an “if” someone was watching. I’d recognized one of his men sitting in the corner as we talked. Marconi probably thought I was working the case.I needed to figure out a way to keep Lila safe.My mind was cracking, and the beast paced, whimpering. Everything was spiraling out of control. I was losing my grip.It was times like this the beast in me was let out. Nothing calmed it more than Lila. My body ached only for her touch. I needed it to survive. I’d die without it—without her. She let me ravage her, letting go in ways no other would. Euphoria and comfort—the soothing balm to my screaming agony.I couldn’t go hunt her do
Days passed and…nothing.Well, not nothing. I was a mess. A fucking disaster.High anxiety, nightmares, and a constant popping of pills got me through the day. Lila got me through the night.She made microwavable popcorn one evening and I flipped out, tackling her to the ground. I did laugh about it later, but it still had me on edge. I knew she was worried about me. She wouldn’t say it, because she didn’t want me to flip out even more. Conversations of the file and Marconi were taboo in our home.Every day, she sucked and fucked me in an attempt to keep me calm. It worked, but I wasn’t stable. Highs and lows led to more forceful, selfish, but mind-blowing sex.“Fuck, you’re so fucking good at that.” She had me panting as she swallowed around my cock.I held her head down, nose pressing against my skin, cock down her throat. Her fingers flexed against my skin, but I kept her there. The overpowering sensations of her gagging around the head forced me to pull out.Lila was
The event alarm pinged on my computer, opening a window in the middle of my document. I cracked my neck, stretching it out. I’d been staring at my screen for more than two hours without moving and was happy for the distraction of the end of the workday.I saved my progress and shut my computer down. There wasn’t much time, and we needed to get going. I slipped my jacket back on and grabbed my phone before heading out the door, locking it behind me.A few feet later, I popped my head into Lila’s office. “Are you ready?” It was almost five-thirty, and she had an appointment with Darren in half an hour. It would take nearly that long with traffic to get there. “Honeybear?”Both Lila and Owen failed to acknowledge my presence, still typing away. I shook my head and sighed.“Yo! Wife of mine, come on.”Her head snapped up, eyes blinking in confusion. “Fuck,” she hissed as she noticed the time. “Give me a sec.”“It’s never a sec in this black hole.”She held her finger up, not
The day was long, and I was ready to get home. My workout with Jared left me exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. He was pushing me harder, to beat all the pain, fear, and anxiety that consumed me out and into the pads and the bag.It helped a lot, and I was thankful for another physical release, but it didn’t change the truth. Marconi was coming for us.In the back of my mind, I’d been working on a contingency plan—a getaway. Working it out in real life without them finding out was harder than I imagined. Who could I trust, and of those few, who wasn’t being watched?When I stepped into our condo, dread washed over me.Silent.Black.Nothing.“Lila?”I closed and locked the door behind me, then set my bag down. Silence remained. Her car was in the parking lot, so I knew she had to be here.The echo of my footsteps on the tile accentuated the quiet, along with the hammering in my chest. I flipped light switches as I moved through the condo, scanning rooms for a
LilaI stared at my reflection in the mirror, at the dark circles that needed more makeup every day. Insomnia had taken control again, and sleep eluded me. I took comfort in my husband’s arms, but I couldn’t shut my brain off.What were we going to do? Over a week had passed since we had the pregnancy mishap, and things were only getting worse.Life was hard for everyone, but it was incredibly atrocious to others. Nathan and I qualified as others. I knew with every cell in my body he was my soul mate. I also knew that fate was a cruel mistress.“Honeybear, you almost ready?” Nathan called from the bedroom.“Almost.” I closed up the concealer and brushed on some powder.My hand trembled, and I clenched it into a tight fist, trying to stop it. I had to keep calm, had to show calm, no matter how badly I was breaking on the inside. Nathan needed me to be strong, and I would be his pillar.“Ready.” I smiled at him and held out my hand to take his.I didn’t want to di