Bella

I held the divorce papers I had prepared for Lincoln in my hands, standing still as I debated whether to dispose of them.

Following what he had told me last night about us trying for a baby, I realized there was no need to keep something like divorce papers around anymore.

I had always considered divorcing him during the course of our three-year marriage, but I never had the courage to go through with it. Two months ago, however, when Jenna returned to the country, and I began seeing how close the two of them had become, realizing that my husband was still in love with his ex, I had finally decided it was the perfect time to free myself from him.

But after what he told me last night, I found it useless to proceed with that decision.

I walked toward the trash can in my room, the papers trembling in my hands, and threw them inside.

After that, I found myself wanting to go to Lincoln’s room.

He had spoken in fragments the night before, revealing only a small part of what he intended. Now that he was sober, I wanted to hear everything clearly from him. Only then would I know how to patch my marriage, how to keep him to myself and away from Jenna.

But when I arrived at the front of his door, I overheard voices.

He was not alone.

Jenna was already in the Hayes mansion and was in his room.

Lincoln’s sister was there too, and I caught sight of his mother as well as the door hadn’t been properly closed.

Jessica noticed me standing outside, but she said nothing. She simply watched as her brother spoke to Jenna, who was seated comfortably on the bed.

“Come on, Jenna,” Lincoln said calmly. “I already told you I won’t divorce her or send her away. We need her to have children for us.”

My breath caught.

“You know you wouldn’t want to destroy your body with childbearing,” he continued. “You’re an actress. You have to keep your body fit. Pregnancy would ruin that. She’ll carry the children instead.”

His words didn’t register immediately.

Not until they continued speaking.

“But she’ll still be your wife, Lincoln,” Jenna said. “What do you mean you can’t divorce her before we get married? You need to divorce her. That’s the only way I’ll know you truly love me. How can I be your wife when your first wife is still here?”

That was when it hit me.

Lincoln wanted to keep me around but not as his wife or the woman he loved.

He wanted me only as the mother of his children. A baby-making machine.

Because he didn’t want his actress lover to “destroy her body” with pregnancy.

My chest burned and I couldn’t breathe.

The bottled resentment I had carried for years exploded all at once.

I pushed the door open.

“How dare you, Lincoln!” I shouted, my voice shaking with rage as everything inside me finally broke loose.

Lincoln and his mother were shocked to see me.

Had he expected that I would still be at home and not have gone to work?

Normally, I was always the first to leave the house, rushing to Lincoln’s office, ready for his arrival. But today, I had slept longer than usual because of the pain I felt last night.

I had wanted to resign from the company. But following what I overheard, I decided to go back, only to throw the trash out of my room and discover that he was ready to turn me into a baby-making machine.

“Come on, Jenna. Is there anything wrong with what I want to do? I’m just trying to help you,” Lincoln said arrogantly. 

“ You're  an orphan. Without me, you are nothing. The job, the clothes, the life you enjoy! Did you think that if I divorce you, that you'll still get to enjoy all these benefits that come from being my wife?”

He spoke proudly, as if I hadn’t just caught him saying something unforgivable.

I was stunned.

In three years of being Lincoln’s wife, I never knew he could be this cruel. I knew he had a bad character, but I never imagined he could be this arrogant to me.

Especially knowing that my father had been one of the reasons his father’s company was where it was today. If my father hadn’t partnered with his, what would this company have become? Yet here he was, boldly accusing me of being nobody without him.

No one in the room spoke up to dispute his words.

His mother pretended she hadn’t heard anything.

Jessica stood there with a foul expression, clearly pleased that I had heard how little I meant to her brother.

After all, she had always believed she was right, that I was nothing but a leech clinging to her brother in a marriage he never wanted.

Jenna, on the other hand, looked smug with satisfaction.

Since discovering how wealthy Lincoln was upon her return, she had wanted him back. It was my fault for always hesitating and forgiving his wrongs, believing that one day he would change.

“What more do you want, Bella?” Jenna suddenly asked in her sickly sweet voice, the same one she always used whenever she wanted to shift blame onto me.

 “Lincoln doesn’t want to divorce you, even though you’re the reason we broke up. I accepted and let him move on with you for three years, the same length of time my degree lasted. Was that not enough time for you to play Lincoln’s lover? Why won’t you just let me be with him now that I’m back?”

She stood up and walked toward me, pretending she wanted a calm conversation, just like she always did. Acting like the innocent one who only wanted peace, trying to make me understand Lincoln’s intentions, as though I was the unreasonable one.

But when she reached me and noticed no one was watching, she grabbed my hand and pushed me.

And pulled herself down with me.

She screamed my name as she fell, but Lincoln caught her before she hit the ground.

I wasn’t so lucky.

I fell hard on my stomach and no one rushed to help me up.

“How dare you push Jenna!” Lincoln yelled, his face flushed with rage.

I couldn’t speak.

Everyone had been there when she pushed me, yet somehow, I was the villain.

“Why would you push me, Bella?” Jenna cried softly. “You know I never did anything to you. I was just begging you to give me time with Lincoln. You know how much we love each other. Couldn’t you just let us be together, even for one year?”

I said nothing.

This had been my reality for the past two months since she returned.

Lincoln always used the excuse of her being sick to stay close to her. I knew she wasn’t sick. Everyone knew she wasn’t. But he still used it as a reason to choose her over me.

I was done.

“Lincoln,” I said, my voice steady for the first time, “I want a divorce.”

In that moment, I felt something I hadn’t felt in years.

Because for the first time, I chose myself.