“I got fired”

I spend the night by Keila's side. She doesn't wake again, weakness taking its toll on her. My daughter has never truly been energetic, she hasn't had the chance since she was always sick, but she's a bright kid at heart and I know that if she wasn't always weighed down by her condition, she'd be a big ball of energy. I want that for her someday, I want to be able to see my baby play like other kids her age. I want

that occasional sadness and yearning I sometimes see in her eyes to leave. I want a normal life for her . Which is why before dawn the next day, I wake, kiss her cheek and leave the hospital to search for jobs. I lost my last job a few weeks ago, they fired me because I wasn't always available which is bull because I dedicated all my time to that work. The actual reason I was fired was to clear a spot for the owners niece. Nepotism at it's finest. It's why I haven't been able to afford any bills at all. Not like the job paid anything reasonable, but it was better than nothing.

I'm a few steps from Keila's room when I see a woman rushing out of a room a few doors away. She screams for a nurse as she seemingly ping-pongs between the hallway and the room she came out of. I understand her indecision, she doesn't want to leave whoever is in that room, but at the same time, she needs to call a nurse. I help her with that decision, walking back into the hallway and calling the first nurse I come across. She goes to check the child and as much as I want to hang around to see how it goes, l also have to maximize all my time so I can get a job as soon as possible.

A few hours later, I drag my body back into the living room of my small apartment after a long futile day of looking for jobs. I plan to continue the hunt by tomorrow since I still have to go back to the hospital to see Keila. I take a bath and spend an hour applying online for more jobs. My best friend, Katie calls me just as I'm about to leave for the hospital.

"Hey, how are you?"

"My daughter is at the hospital with about a month ticking down on her clock, how do you think I am?", I retort, a little harshly. But I can't exactly help how bitter I feel.

Katie sighs and I'm tempted to apologize.

"I'm sorry, that was the wrong question to ask", she says. "It's okay, I'm sorry too"

"How's our little girl doing though?"

"She's going through it bravely but I still have to get a job as soon as possible so I can pay for her surgery"

"What about your job?", she asks. Katie doesn't know I lost my old job, she's been staying at lowa to take care of her sick father for the past few weeks.

"I got fired"

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were busy and besides, I would’ve quit anyway. The job wouldn't have helped since they didn't exactly pay me in diamonds", I say, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's not funny, Audrey. I hate that you didn't think to tell me about it. You need a job now more than ever"

"Yeah, not just any job though. The procedure costs thirty five grand. I'm considering selling an organ"

Katie laughs, she thinks I'm joking but when I don't speak or laugh with her, she realizes that I'm dead serious.

"I hope that was a joke" "No", I reply blandly.

"Jesus, Audrey, you can’t be serious. Promise me you won’t go through with it", she begs and I hate that I can't promise her like she wants.

"It's not the worst option. It's the least I can do. I'm not a suitable donor so I'm just going to make myself useful in other ways. So on that note, do you have any networks I could use?”

"Christ, you're serious", she exclaims "I thought we already established that"

"Okay, okay fine. I don't have any networks but I promise to help as much as I can with your job hunting. I'll ask around and see how I can help but promise me you would forget about this organ thing till we figure something out"

"I don't know, Katie. I'm running out of time", I tell her.

"Just promise me"

"Fine", I concede. I hope to God that we can find a solution as soon as possible.

When I get to the hospital, I see the woman from earlier in the morning. She's sitting alone on a bench on the hallway, crying silently and hugging a teddy bear to her chest. I get close enough to look into the room she came out of earlier that morning but the bed is empty, as if recently cleared. That's when I realize why she's crying.

Her loved one died.

I can't control the tears that race down my own cheeks, wondering if I would soon be in the same position as her. If I would soon feel the same awful emotions she's feeling. I feel sorry for her and as much as I want to stay back and comfort her, I have a daughter that's suffering and needs me too. My urge to see Keila and make sure that she's okay wins over the urge to comfort the grieving woman.

I'm just a few steps away from Keila's room when I bump into someone. I raise my head to look at the person but I can't really make out anything through all the tears flooding my eyes. All I know is that it's a man, a really tall man. I'm about to mutter a quick apology but then I hear whimpering coming from Keila's room.

I don't think, I run.