Chapter five.

When Holly went to bed that night, everything that had happened in the five years since she left home, played over and over again in her mind, starting with the night she spent with Lincoln. At first, it had been a dream come true, although in her dreams when she tasted his lips, they had never tasted of whisky. But he had said everything she had spent so many years longing to hear. He told her, how much he liked her, confessed that if he had known how she felt about him that he would have taken her in his arms sooner and she had believed him.

But that is where the dream ended, and reality took hold.

She went to college and studied nursing like she always wanted. She was on a full ride scholarship, and was lucky that she did not have to worry about tuition as long as she worried about her grades. Her mother took on a second job to give Holly the money she needed to move into her own apartment. A baby and a shared dorm room just weren’t a good mix. The campus where Holly studied had a cheap daycare centre for college students, and it meant that Holly could visit Eve on her lunch breaks and in between classes. During the unpaid placement blocks she had to fulfill to get her degree, her mother would come and stay and watch Eve at their apartment, so she didn’t have to find a sitter. Having her mother watch her daughter meant the world to Holly, she hated leaving Eve, but at least she knew that she was in good hands.

On the side for extra cash, Holly sampled and reviewed products from home, some products left her with harsh side effects, but at the time it was worth the money.

A handful of times over the years, Kathy encouraged Holly to reach out to Lincoln and try to tell him about Eve. Kathy was sure it had just been his initial shock to the news, and that given a second chance that he would react better to. But Holly always shut her down. Her life was already so complicated with school and a baby, besides, if he really wanted a second chance, he would come looking. Life felt so complicated some days that Holly didn’t want to get out of bed. She did not need to worry about Lincoln on top of everything else.

Recently, things had started getting better. Eve was just starting school, and Holly had managed to find a reasonably priced babysitter who was willing to stay in Holly’s spare room the nights she worked, and Eve seemed to love her. At work she was starting to make friends and for the first time since she had Eve, she no longer felt judged for being a young single mother. Im fact if Kathy had not fallen Ill, Holly’a life would have been close to perfect. The journey had taken its toll, but she was happy to have been on it.

In some ways Holly was glad that Maggie knew now, even if Eve did not understand who Maggie was, she could still experience the love of her aunt for the first time in her life. When Maggie had children, Eve would know her cousins. However, as happy as she was, she was equally as worried.

Would Maggie tell Lincoln? They had been best friends their whole lives, and not once had Maggie ever betrayed Holly, usually she wouldn’t doubt her best friends loyalty but this was different. She never had to truly choose between her friend and her brother before.

Holly knew how upset Maggie must be right now, and she felt guilty for putting her in that position, but Lincoln had his chance, and he didn’t want it. If he would rather choose to believe that Eve wasn’t his daughter then it wasn’t up to Holly to convince him otherwise. At least that is what she would tell herself when her conscience started weighing her down.

When the sun started to peak through the windows in the room she shared with her daughter, Holly decided to give up on trying to fall asleep, it was hopeless. She had kept herself awake the whole night worrying about everything and now she was exhausted. A nice hot coffee would do wonders for her soul. Coffee always had a way of calming her. Careful not to wake her daughter, Holly crept quietly from the room.

She was surprised to find her mother, Kathy, sitting at the table waiting for her. A second cup of coffee sat in front of her empty seat. How did her mother know?

“Good morning, Mom.” Holly greeted her mother with a kiss on the cheek. Her mothers skin felt a little cold to the touch, her heart clenched, how could her mother, the strongest person Holly had ever seen, be sick like this?

“Couldn’t sleep?” Kathy asked quizzically as her daughter joined her at the table.

“No.” Holly admitted taking a sip of her coffee. She sighed a breath of relief as the warm liquid drizzled down her throat. She did not know how her mother did it, but everything made by her hand was somehow better than anything Holly could do for herself, even a simple pot of coffee.

“Maybe.” One glance at her mother and Holly knew what she was going to say. It was the same cautious approach she took every time.

“No, Mom. I am not going over there.” Holly shut her mother down completely. She had done this to herself all night, she was not about to go over it all again with her mother this morning. Besides, she already knew how her mother felt, hearing it one more time, changed nothing.

“Fine, I won’t say anything more, but can I ask, does Maggie know? I don’t mean to pry, but it was well past midnight when she left last night, and she is a sharp girl, one look at Eve, and she would have at least suspected.” Kathy was right, Maggie was clever like that, much like Eve.

“Yes, she knows.” Holly admitted although it made her uncomfortable.

Kathy furrowed her brows, Holly rushed to stop her, as she could see her mother’s lips parting.

“She has promised not to say anything to Lincoln about Eve.” Holly said before her mother could ask. The words were already starting to spill from her lips.

Kathy felt disappointed that her daughter would ask Maggie to keep such a secret from her brother, but instead of scolding her, she asked a question that she hoped would make Holly reconsider.

“And when Lincoln meets her? Assuming he will, do you think he will figure it out for himself?” Kathy wasn’t trying to make her daughter feel ashamed in anyway, she just wanted what was best for her girls.

“Actually, Lincoln has met Eve.” Holly watched her mother’s eyes go wide and her mouth drop open.

“What when?” Kathy stammered through her surprise.

“Last night we were at the Christmas market, when Eve noticed a man watching us. Imagine my surprise when it was Lincoln. I was going to whisk Eve away, but then Maggie, who had been there as well, noticed us. She approached me before I could get away, and then Lincoln followed her over. They offered us a lift home when I tried to make an excuse to leave. I tried to get out of it, but it was clear Maggie already suspected that Lincoln was Eve’s dad. Maggie quickly managed to woo Eve enough that when Lincoln insisted, he drive us home a second time, that Eve asked if we could go with them. I couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse to tell them no again, so I accepted the offer. He made a few vague prying comments, but he never once suspected that Eve was his daughter.” Holly explained, it still felt so surreal to her, like it wasn’t her life she was talking about.

Before Kathy could recover from her surprise and respond, there was a soft knock at the door. Kathy began to rise from her seat, but Holly placed a hand on top of her mother’s frail one.

“Please, Mom, I’ll get it.” Holly didn’t want her mother exerting herself more than absolutely necessary. Thankful for her daughters help, Kathy obliged.

Who could be visiting so early in the morning Holly wondered as she approached the front door that was off the kitchen. To her surprise it was Maggie.

“Oh, thank goodness you are awake. I didn’t want to disturb you if you were sleeping, but I wanted to get out of the house.” Maggie explained before pulling Holly in for a hug.

“Good morning, Kathy.” Maggie greeted Kathy as she invited herself into the house. Holly stood there feeling a little dumbstruck, she kept expecting maggie to be so angry with her, and yet here she was hugging her.

“Is Eve awake yet?” Maggie asked as she sat down.

“No, she is still sleeping.” Holly replied as she shut the door and made her way back to her seat.

“Would you mind terribly if I made myself a cup of coffee? I didn’t have the chance to get one at home.” Maggie bit her lip.

“Allow me.” Kathy offered, but maggie knew how sick Kathy was. Kathy may not be ready to admit how weak the cancer made her feel, but that didn’t mean Maggie was going to let her exert herself.

“No, please, don’t get up, it is really no trouble for me to make my own beverages, Kathy.” Maggie assured her getting back up from her seat.

“You know I don’t know who worries more, you or Holly.” Kathy remarked. She felt so proud of her girls, they were so compassionate.

Both girls smiled back at her. “It’s just because we love you.” They responded in unison, much like they used to when they were girls. Kathy could not wipe the smile from her face. She missed this so much.

Maggie quickly finished making a cup of coffee for herself and joined the two women back at the table.

“So, what were we talking about, before I so rudely interrupted?” She asked Holly and her mother as she raised her cup to her lips.

“Last night.” Holly responded vaguely as she noticed Eve’s bedroom door cracking open. She did not want her daughter overhearing things she shouldn’t, so she called to her before maggie could say any more.

“Good morning, Eve.” Holly called to her daughter. Both Kathy and Maggie looked down the hall.

Eve’s cute little face appeared before them.

“Good morning.” Eve replied in her tired voice. She walked towards her mother with her stuffed teddy in her hand. Maggie recognised the teddy the moment he saw it.

“Is that the same teddy?” She asked Holly her voice thick with emotion, sure that it was.

Holly knew to what teddy Maggie was referring to but she looked at it anyway. A small smile tugged at her lips as she remembered receiving the bear.

“Yeah, it is.” Holly replied proudly as she watched a range of emotions flitter across maggies face.

When Holly’s dad unexpectedly and tragically died just before her thirteenth birthday, Maggie brought her a brown chocolate scented teddy bear. Maggie wanted Holly to have something to hug and to hold when she was sad if she could not be there to support her, hence the teddy. Holly had become extremely protective over the stuffed toy and had never let anyone else touch it. When Eve was only about a year old, she discovered the teddy in her mother’s cupboard. She fell in love with the bear the moment she first laid her eyes on it and refused to put it down despite Holly’s best efforts to dissuade her interest, and from then on it was her teddy.

“Aw I love that.” Maggie touched her hand to her heart. She had never been able to buy her niece a gift, to know she still had something from her meant more to Maggie then she could ever put into words.

“What’s your name again?” Eve asked shyly as she approached Maggie. “I am sorry I forgot.” She apologised sweetly.

“That’s okay, sweety, I struggle with names sometimes too. But you can call me auntie Maggie.” Maggie smiled brightly, which in turn made Eve smile.

Holly thought about correcting her, and telling Eve to call Maggie simply by her name. But Maggie was being so understanding, and she was Eve’s aunt, she didn’t want to hurt her feeling or confuse Eve, so in the end she said nothing.

“And what is this guy’s name?” Maggie asked Eve referring to the teddy she was now clutching to her chest.

“Pa.” Eve showed Maggie the teddy. “Because he is like my pa.” she explained.

“I told Eve that someone I loved gave me that teddy when my father, who was her grandpa, passed. At the time she was so little she couldn’t say grandpa yet, so she simply said pa, from that day on, that was his name.” Holly explained.

“Eve, it was Maggie who gave me the bear.” Holly thought her daughter would appreciate knowing who brought the beloved teddy into their lives.

Eve clutched the teddy to her chest once more worried that this kind lady may want him back, she was very interested in him after all. “You don’t want him back, do you?” Eve was very protective of the bear.

“No, no, darling, he is all yours.” Maggie promised Eve. She would never dream of taking the teddy away.

Happy with her response Eve climbed up on her own chair.

“Mommy, I am hungry.” Eve patted her mother’s hand to gain her attention.

“Can I get her something to eat, please?” Maggie asked enthusiastically. She was excited to be around her niece, she wanted to spoil her as much as Holly would allow her to.

“Are you sure you want to?” Holly said. She didn’t want maggie to feel like she was taking advantage.

“Oh, shush, I would love to.” Maggie replied already feeling giddy.

“Then knock yourself out.” Holly didn’t mind. If Maggie wanted to spend time with Eve, then she wasn’t going to stop her. Not when she knew how limited their time together was. The holidays would be over soon, and she would have to return home with her daughter.

“Okay, Eve, what would you like for breakfast?” Maggie headed to the kitchen.

Knowing Eve all too well, Holly, Kathy and Eve all responded at the same time.

“Chocolate chip pancakes.”

Eve laughed, her little bell like giggles we infectious and before they knew it, they were all laughing.

“Eve asks for them every morning, but I try to limit the number of times I cave in. Chocolate isn’t the best for breakfast, but seeing as aunty Maggie is so excited to be with us this morning, I will make an exception.” Holly explained.

“Your mother and I were just the same when we were little. Chocolate is simply the best; you have such good taste.” Maggie said. “Will you help me make them?”

“YES, YES.’’ Eve cheered. She loved to help in the kitchen.

“She loves you already.” Holly said jokingly, but Maggie really hoped that was true, for she already loved the little girl with the big blue eyes and infectious smile.

Five-year-olds, while they made enthusiastic little cooks, were not always the cleanest, and Maggie, who was so excited to cook with Eve, wasn’t much better, turning the whole thing into a fun little game for the pair of them. Holly usually limited just how many choc chips Eve poured into the batter, but Maggie, who was the fun loving aunt, allowed her to tip the entire bag into the batter. There was more chocolate than batter so it seemed. But the smile on her little girl’s face was worth it.

“So why did you need to be out of the house so early this morning?” Kathy asked Maggie as everyone sat down to eat.

Maggie looked at Holly sympathetically; she wasn’t sure Holly would want to hear it.

“It’s fine, you can say it.” Holly didn’t want Maggie to feel like she had to censor the things she had to say. She was a big girl; she could hear his name and keep it together.

“Well, I didn’t have to, but Lincoln and Sasha were being rather loud and unbearable, and rather than suffering their exuberant good morning to each other I fled the house.” Maggie explained going red in the cheeks. Holly did feel a little uncomfortable, but she did not say anything about it.

“Who is Sasha?’’ Eve asked as she shoved another bite into her mouth.

“Eve, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Holly reprimanded her daughter.

“She is Lincoln’s girlfriend.” Maggie said in a jokingly disgusted tone. Holly laughed, it reminded her of how they would tease each other when they were little girls, back when they still thought boys had cooties. Eve laughed. “Ewwww,” she said.

Holly was clearing plates when there was another loud knock at the door. Who could that be she wondered.

“Eve, don’t answer the door.” Holly tried to stop her young curious daughter as she bounded over, but she was a tad too late. Eve had already opened the door.

“Aunty Maggie says you say good morning to Sasha too loud.” Eve said to Lincoln who was standing in her doorway.

Maggie, Holly and Lincoln all went really red in the face. Kathy, unable to help herself, burst out laughing. Eve did not understand why what she said was so funny to her grandma, she was happy that it made her laugh. Attempting to get another laugh she shouted at Lincoln. “GOOD MORNING,SASHA.” It did indeed make Kathy laugh even harder.

“Good morning.” Lincoln said to Eve, clearly still embarrassed. He looked at Maggie like he wanted to wring her neck.

“He doesn’t say good morning that loudly.” Eve turned to Maggie and told her.

“Excuse me,” Kathy wheezed leaving the room to collect herself.

“Sorry to interrupt ladies, but Maggie, Mom has been looking for you. She needs your help.” Lincoln said to Maggie.

Maggie sighed, she didn’t want to leave Eve or Holly even for a second, she knew her time with them was likely going to be short, but she had promised her mom she would help her today. That was of course before she knew about Holly and Eve.

“Okay. Well Eve, I need to go now, but I can’t leave without a hug.” Maggie knelt down and opened her arms ready to receive her niece; Eve happily gave her new friend a hug.

“Goodbye, Holly! Goodbye, Eve!” Lincoln said only now just learning the little girl’s name. He thought it suited her well. Short and spunky just like her.

“GOODBYE, LINCOLN.” Eve shouted once more still hoping to make them laugh.

Lincolns cheeks went red as he tried to rush out the door. Maggie giggled.

Once they shut the door, Holly chided her mother. “Okay, Mom, you can stop laughing now.” She said.

“What did you say to them?” Lincoln hissed at his sister as they got into the car.

“Oh, Kathy asked why I left the house at the crack of dawn this morning. I simply said that you were too loud for me this morning and I had to leave.” Maggie laughed remembering the way Eve answered the door.

“You said that in front of Holly’s daughter?” Lincoln felt flustered. He could not believe his sister would say such a thing, and in front of Holly.

“Oh, come on, she didn’t understand, it’s Holly you’re worried about.” Maggie stared at him, daring him to say she was wrong.

“It has nothing to do with Holly.” Lincoln lied. “I just don’t think it’s appropriate conversation. What Sasha and I do, is our business, Maggie.”

“If you say so.” Maggie said doubtfully, something Lincoln picked up on quickly.

“I do say so.” Lincoln said firmly. “Are you going to be nice to Sasha today?” Lincoln changed the subject, he did not wish to talk about this any longer, and he really was worried about Maggie and Sasha spending the day together. He tried his hardest to build a bridge between his sister and his fiancée, but neither of them ever seemed particularly fond of crossing it. Their relationship was cordial at best. Now that Holly was around, maybe Maggie might be up to her old match making tricks. He couldn’t stop thinking about Holly, but he still cared for Sasha, he didn’t want her to get hurt.

“I will treat her as she treats me.” Maggie replied coolly, which was not the answer he had been hoping for.

“Why don’t you like Sasha?” He sighed feeling disappointed. He had been wanted to ask maggie this very question for a long time, but had always been too afraid of the answer. What his family thought of Sasha meant a lot to him. He was close to his parents and to his sister, he didn’t want to have to choose sides between them and the women he loved, he feared one day they would make him, or Sasha would.

“Why is it important if I like her or not?” Lincoln did not like the way Maggie turned the question back onto him.

“You’re my sister.” Lincoln stated, honestly wasn’t that enough of reason. Maggie just raised her eyebrows. Man, she was difficult sometimes he thought.

“Maggie, please tell me?” Lincoln didn’t want to have to ask her a third time.

“Do you really want to know my opinion? I can’t take it back once I give it to you.” Maggie warned. Whatever his sister had to say, after that comment he knew, he was not going to like it. But he had already asked, and now he had to know.

“Yes, I am sure.” Lincoln said even if he wasn’t.

Maggie sighed, she felt like she was going to hurt her brothers feelings, she detested being a source of pain for him, but he wanted the truth.

“It’s not that I don’t like her. I hardly know her, you guys come to our house two maybe three times a year if we are lucky, you stay a week, and then you leave, and the whole time she is at the house, I barely see her. I have tried to get to know her, for your sake, but it is hard to get to know someone who locks themselves in their room the whole time. I heard her say more this morning than I have the whole week you have been here, and she wasn’t saying much more than your name.” Lincoln wished Maggie would stop talking about what she heard coming from his room earlier. It was really embarrassing. She was his baby sister after all.

“She just doesn’t feel comfortable around you guys, maybe if you did more to make her feel welcome.” Lincoln tried to defend Sasha, but Maggie wasn’t having it.

“Lincoln, what more would you have us do? I invite her out every day, she says no and shuts the door in my face. When Mom and I are in the kitchen, we offer her to join us, she says cooking isn’t her thing and leaves. I know she is into running, I am a runner, I have offered to show her the good trails in the area, but her ankle is always sore when she visits. Have you ever heard her say one nice thing about the way I dress, or is my bikini when we are all in the pool just a little too small in her opinion? Or do my heels ever match what dress I am wearing? I can’t remember a single time she has offered to spend time with us. She is either complaining or hiding out, that’s it. It’s hard to like someone like that. Now you can be angry, but you asked. So, as I said, I will be as nice to her as she is to me. If she wants to come down and have a coffee, great, I am happy to chat. If she wants to make snide comments, then I will do what I always do, and I will leave the room.” Now that Maggie had something, he did notice that often when Sasha was about, Maggie would just leave the room not to be seen again, but he had never heard his fiancée say anything negative about his sister before. He promised himself that he would take more care, if she was saying the things Maggie claimed she was, then he would get to the bottom of it.

“Maggie, her family was very different from ours, that’s all, give her time, she will get better, and when it does, you will love her as much as I do.” Lincoln wanted to have kids one day, and when he does, he wants his family to know his children.

“And why is that?” Maggie asked. She always wondered what her brother saw in Sasha, he was warm kind and funny. She was cold, calculated, and cunning. They were polar opposites.

Confused by her question Lincoln said. “What?”

“Why is it that you love her?” Maggie clarified.

Lincoln parked the car in his parents’ driveway and shut off the engine. No one has asked him that question before, not even Sasha herself. To be honest he never really thought about it. He just knew they were good together and after a certain amount of time, it only seemed right that he asked her to marry him.

“She’s good for me.” Lincoln finally responded.

“Hmm, you’re marrying this girl?” Maggie said doubtfully. Lincoln didn’t like how unsettled the tone made him.

“Yeah?” But to anyone that heard him, it sounded more like a question than a statement, but wasn’t a man to be married supposed to be sure what he wanted? Why did Lincoln sound like he was having doubts?

“This is an unrelated question, but what do you like about Holly?” Maggie’s question indeed caught him off guard.

Without even thinking about it he answered quickly. “I like the way I feel when I am around her. You know what she is like, she is so good you can’t help but want to be better.” He smiled a little as he thought of her.

“Did you notice the difference?” Maggie asked rather bluntly.

“What do you mean?” He said feeling confused. Just what was Maggie getting at?

“I mean when I asked you what you loved about Sasha, you had to think before you answered and even then, you didn’t say she made you feel anything, you took a minute to answer and you couldn’t think of one thing to say that you liked about her, not even physically, but I asked you what you liked about Holly and well, you get my point.” Maggie said before hoping out of the car and walking up to the house. Leaving Lincoln sitting there feeling a little dumbstruck.

Well damn what was he supposed to make of that?