SLEEPLESS

Sleep was apparently not happening tonight because every time I closed my eyes I kept thinking about everything that had happened today and my brain wouldn't shut up long enough to let me rest. After three hours of tossing and turning I gave up and decided to go find something to eat because stress always made me hungry.

The kitchen was dark when I got downstairs but I could hear soft sounds coming from the direction of the herb garden that connected to the back of the house. Curious, I followed the noise and found the door to the garden propped open with warm light spilling out from inside.

Ren was kneeling among the plants with his hands glowing with a soft golden light that he was directing toward a wilted section of mint. His blonde hair fell across his forehead while he concentrated and he was wearing nothing but loose cotton pants that hung low on his hips.

I stood in the doorway watching him work and felt something warm curl in my stomach that had nothing to do with being hungry for food. There was something incredibly attractive about seeing him use his healing powers so gently and carefully, like he was coaxing life back into the plants with pure kindness.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I asked softly while stepping into the garden space.

He startled and the golden glow disappeared immediately while his cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. "Luna, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake. I was just tending to some of the medicinal herbs that got damaged during the attack earlier."

The way he called me Luna while looking at me like I'd caught him doing something wrong made my heart skip a beat. In the soft light from the healing glow that was still fading from his skin he looked almost ethereal, like some kind of forest spirit who existed to nurture growing things.

"You don't need to apologize," I said while moving closer to see what he'd been working on. "I think it's beautiful what you do with your healing abilities."

His blush deepened and he ducked his head shyly. "It's not very impressive compared to combat skills or strength. Most wolves think healing magic is weak."

I knelt down beside him on the soft earth and noticed how his breath caught slightly when I got close enough that our shoulders were almost touching. "Most wolves are idiots then. There's nothing weak about having the power to fix things instead of just breaking them."

He looked up at me through his lashes and I could see the surprise in his aquamarine eyes. "You really think that?"

"I know that," I said firmly while reaching out to touch one of the mint plants he'd been healing. "Look how much better this looks now. You brought it back from dying, Ren. That's incredible."

His hand brushed against mine as we both touched the same leaf and I felt a little spark of electricity shoot up my arm. From the way his eyes widened I could tell he felt it too.

"Luna," he said quietly and his voice was rougher than usual.

"Iris," I corrected while letting my fingers linger against his. "When we're alone like this you can call me Iris."

He swallowed hard and I watched the movement of his throat with probably more interest than was appropriate. "Iris," he repeated and the way he said my name made warmth spread through my chest.

"Can you show me how the healing works?" I asked because I wanted an excuse to stay close to him and also because I was genuinely curious about his abilities.

"I'm not sure you'd be able to see much," he said hesitantly. "Healing magic isn't very flashy or exciting."

"I don't want flashy," I said while shifting closer until our knees were touching. "I want to understand what makes you so gentle with everything you touch."

His breath hitched and for a moment I thought he might pull away but instead he held out his hands palm up. "Give me your hands and I'll show you what it feels like."

I placed my hands in his and immediately felt the warmth of his skin against mine. His hands were soft but strong, with long fingers that seemed made for delicate work.

"Close your eyes," he said softly and I could hear nervousness in his voice. "And try to feel what I'm doing instead of just seeing it."

I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation of his hands holding mine. At first there was just warmth and the slight roughness of calluses from his work in the gardens, but then I started to feel something else. A gentle tingling sensation that started in his fingertips and flowed into my hands like warm honey.

"Oh," I breathed because it felt amazing, like every cell in my body was being caressed by pure comfort and peace.

"That's the healing energy," Ren explained and his voice was barely above a whisper. "It seeks out anything that's damaged or stressed and tries to soothe it."

The tingling sensation was traveling up my arms now and everywhere it touched I felt tension I hadn't even realized I was carrying start to dissolve. But more than that, I could feel Ren's emotions through the connection, his gentleness and care and something deeper that made my pulse quicken.

"Ren," I said while opening my eyes to find him watching my face intently.

"Yes?"

"Is this what you do when you treat my injuries after my episodes?"

He nodded while his thumbs started tracing small circles on the backs of my hands. "Usually you're unconscious so you don't feel the actual healing process but yes, this is how I help your body recover."

I thought about all the times I must have woken up feeling better without understanding that Ren had spent hours pouring his healing energy into me while I slept. "How long does it usually take?"

"Hours sometimes," he admitted. "Your episodes can be pretty severe and healing magic works slowly but thoroughly."

"You spend hours holding me and healing me," I said while the full weight of his devotion hit me. "Hours of your life dedicated to making sure I'm okay."

"It's not a burden," he said quickly. "It's the best part of my job as your Lykora. Getting to take care of you, getting to make sure you're comfortable and safe and healthy."

The sincerity in his voice combined with the continued flow of healing energy between our joined hands was making me feel things I probably shouldn't be feeling. Heat was building in my stomach and spreading outward until I felt flushed and slightly breathless.

"Iris," Ren said and I could hear the same breathlessness in his voice. "Your pulse just quickened. Are you alright?"

I realized he could probably sense everything about my physical state through the healing connection and felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. "I'm fine. Better than fine actually."

He started to pull his hands away but I tightened my grip to keep him connected to me. "Don't stop. It feels good."

His eyes darkened and I saw him swallow hard again. "Iris, I should probably stop. The healing energy can be... intense when you're not actually injured."

"Intense how?" I asked while letting my gaze drop to his mouth.

"It amplifies everything you're feeling," he said quietly. "Physical sensations, emotions, attractions. It's why healers are supposed to maintain professional distance with their patients."

I looked back up into his eyes and saw desire there that he was trying desperately to hide. "What if I don't want professional distance right now?"

"Luna," he started but I cut him off by leaning closer until our faces were only inches apart.

"Iris," I corrected again. "And I'm asking what you want, not what you think you're supposed to want."

He looked at me like I was offering him everything he'd ever dreamed of but was afraid to reach for it. "I want to kiss you," he admitted in a voice so quiet I almost didn't hear it. "I've wanted to kiss you for so long but I never thought you'd want someone like me."

"Someone like you?" I asked while letting go of one of his hands so I could touch his face. "You mean someone kind and gentle and beautiful who spends his nights healing plants because he can't stand to see anything suffer?"

He leaned into my touch and his eyes fluttered closed. "I'm not strong like Zayen or powerful like the Alphas you could have. I'm just a healer who grows herbs and fixes broken things."

"Ren," I said while stroking my thumb across his cheekbone. "Look at me."

He opened his eyes and I could see vulnerability there that made my chest ache with tenderness.

"You are exactly what I want," I said clearly. "Strong doesn't always mean physical power. Sometimes it means having the strength to be gentle in a world that rewards violence."

Before he could respond I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his. He went completely still for a heartbeat and then kissed me back with a sweetness that made my toes curl.

The healing energy was still flowing between us and it turned the kiss into something that felt like pure magic. Every place our skin touched was tingling with warmth and I could feel his emotions as clearly as my own, his wonder and desire and disbelief that I was actually choosing him.

When we finally broke apart we were both breathing hard and I realized sometime during the kiss I'd ended up practically in his lap with my hands tangled in his hair.

"Iris," he said while resting his forehead against mine. "Are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret it tomorrow when you remember I'm just your healer."

I kissed him again, shorter but just as sweet. "You're not just anything, Ren. You're mine."

The way his face lit up at those words made me want to spend the rest of the night showing him exactly how much I meant them.