THIS OR THAT

I woke up the next morning with dirt under my fingernails and the taste of mint on my lips and it took me a solid thirty seconds to remember why. Then it all came rushing back and I buried my face in my pillow while trying to decide if I was embarrassed or thrilled about what had happened with Ren in the garden.

We'd ended up making out among the herb plants for what felt like hours while his healing energy made everything feel more intense and wonderful than it had any right to be. Eventually we'd reluctantly separated because he kept insisting that someone might come looking for me and find us tangled together in the dirt like a couple of teenagers.

The memory of his hands in my hair and the way he'd looked at me like I was something precious made warmth spread through my chest all over again. I'd never had someone touch me with that much reverence before, like he couldn't quite believe I was real and choosing him.

A knock on my door interrupted my daydreaming and I quickly got out of bed to answer it, hoping it might be Ren coming to continue where we'd left off.

Instead I opened the door to find Zayen standing in the hallway with a concerned expression and what looked like official papers in his hand.

"Good morning Luna," he said while his eyes swept over me quickly like he was checking for injuries. "Did you sleep well?"

I felt heat rise in my cheeks because I definitely hadn't slept much after sneaking back to my room around four in the morning with kiss-swollen lips and dirt stains on my nightgown.

"Fine," I lied while opening the door wider to let him in. "What's all that?"

"Security reports from last night and this morning," he said while setting the papers on my desk. "We found some things you need to know about."

That made my stomach drop because nothing good ever started with security reports. "What kind of things?"

"The men who attacked you yesterday weren't rogues or hired mercenaries," Zayen explained while turning to face me. "They were professional soldiers from the Northern Alliance."

I blinked at him because that didn't make sense. "The Northern Alliance? Isn't that supposed to be our ally?"

"Officially yes," Zayen said grimly. "But it looks like someone within their leadership has decided you're a threat that needs to be eliminated."

"A threat to what?" I asked while sinking into the chair at my desk because my legs suddenly felt shaky.

"That's what we're trying to figure out," Zayen said while leaning against the wall. "But Iris, this changes everything about your security situation. We're not just dealing with random attacks anymore, we're dealing with political assassination attempts from people who should be our allies."

I stared at him while trying to process the fact that an entire alliance of werewolf packs apparently wanted me dead for reasons no one could explain. "So what does that mean for me?"

"It means you can't leave the property without a full security detail and even then it's going to be risky," Zayen said. "It also means the elders are going to be even more insistent about you accepting additional protection."

Right on cue another knock sounded at my door and I groaned internally because I was really not ready to deal with more complications before I'd even had coffee.

"Come in," I called out while wondering if I could just hide under my blankets until this whole situation resolved itself.

The door opened to reveal Ren carrying a breakfast tray and looking slightly nervous about something. Our eyes met and I felt that same flutter in my stomach that I'd experienced last night when he was kissing me senseless among the mint plants.

"I brought you breakfast," he said while carefully not looking at Zayen. "I thought you might be hungry."

The way he said it made me think he was remembering how we'd completely forgotten about food last night in favor of exploring each other's mouths and I felt my cheeks burn again.

"Thank you," I managed to say while trying to act normal in front of Zayen who was watching this interaction with entirely too much interest.

Ren set the tray on my nightstand and his fingers brushed mine for just a second when I reached for the coffee cup. That brief contact sent the same electric warmth through me that I'd felt during our healing connection and from the way his eyes darkened slightly I could tell he felt it too.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked quietly and there was something in his tone that suggested he was thinking about the same things I was.

"Eventually," I said while taking a sip of coffee to give myself something to do with my hands.

Zayen cleared his throat and both Ren and I jumped slightly like we'd been caught doing something inappropriate which I supposed we sort of had been.

"We need to discuss the new security information," Zayen said while giving us both a look that suggested he knew something was different but wasn't sure what.

"Right," I said while trying to focus on the serious topic instead of the way Ren's hair was falling across his forehead in a way that made me want to run my fingers through it again.

"New security information?" Ren asked while finally looking at Zayen properly.

"The attackers were from the Northern Alliance," Zayen explained. "Professional soldiers, not random rogues."

Ren's face went pale and he immediately moved closer to my chair like he was positioning himself to protect me from invisible threats. "That means this is political."

"Exactly," Zayen confirmed. "Which means we need to assume there will be more attempts and probably better coordinated ones."

I looked between my two Lykoras and felt a familiar sensation of my life spinning out of my control while other people made decisions about what was best for me. "So what are you suggesting?"

"Complete lockdown until we can identify the specific threat and eliminate it," Zayen said. "No leaving the property, armed guards at all times, the works."

"For how long?" I asked while my chest started feeling tight at the thought of being trapped in the house indefinitely.

"However long it takes," Zayen replied which wasn't exactly reassuring.

"There might be another option," Ren said quietly and both Zayen and I turned to look at him. "What if we accepted Elias's offer to be your third Lykora? His reputation alone might be enough to deter future attacks."

I nearly choked on my coffee because I definitely hadn't expected Ren to be the one suggesting we bring Elias into our little group dynamic, especially not after what had happened between us last night.

"You want Elias as our third?" Zayen asked with surprise.

"I want Iris to be safe," Ren corrected while looking directly at me. "If having Elias as her third Lykora means she can have some freedom and security then yes, I think we should consider it."

The fact that he was willing to share me with another man just so I could be happy and safe made my heart clench with affection for him. "Ren, are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure that your wellbeing is more important than my jealousy," he said simply. "Besides, three Lykoras means better protection and the Northern Alliance would have to be insane to target someone under Elias Stormbane's protection."

Zayen was nodding slowly like he was considering the practical aspects. "It would certainly send a message about how seriously we take threats against you."

"And," Ren added while his cheeks turned slightly pink, "it's not like having a third Lykora would change how I feel about you or my dedication to your care."

The way he said it while looking at me with those soft aquamarine eyes made butterflies dance in my stomach because I could hear the unspoken meaning behind his words. Last night had changed things between us and he was letting me know that wouldn't be affected by political necessities.

"But do we trust Elias's motives?" I asked while trying to think practically instead of getting lost in memories of Ren's hands on my skin.

"We trust his feelings for you," Zayen said. "And we trust that those feelings will make him protective rather than possessive."

"What if you're wrong?" I asked because trusting Elias still felt like jumping off a cliff and hoping someone would catch me.

"Then we deal with it," Ren said firmly. "But Iris, staying locked up here indefinitely isn't really living and you deserve to have a life, not just existence under guard."

I looked at these two men who were willing to share me with someone they didn't fully trust just so I could be safe and free and felt overwhelmed by their devotion to my happiness.

"If I agreed to this," I said slowly, "what would that actually mean? How does someone become a third Lykora?"

"There's a binding ceremony," Zayen explained. "It creates a magical connection between you and all three Lykoras that allows us to sense your wellbeing and location at all times."

"And it makes the bond permanent," Ren added. "Once someone is bound as your Lykora they can't be released from that service unless you die or they do."

That sounded pretty intense and also like exactly the kind of magical commitment that could go very wrong if I was making the decision for the wrong reasons.

"How long do I have to decide?" I asked.

"The elders are expecting an answer by tomorrow," Zayen said. "Either you accept Elias or they're going to insist on Kieran Blackwater."

Right, because I'd almost forgotten about their backup plan to bind me to the werewolf equivalent of a serial killer. "And if I refuse both options?"

"Then you'll be under house arrest until the threat is eliminated," Zayen said bluntly. "Which could be months or years depending on how deep this conspiracy goes."

I rubbed my temples because this was exactly the kind of impossible choice I'd hoped to avoid when I got a second chance at life. Accept the man who had destroyed me in another universe, accept a stranger who would probably treat me like property, or give up my freedom entirely.

"Can I think about it today?" I asked while looking between them.

"Of course," Ren said immediately. "This is your decision and no one should pressure you into making it before you're ready."

"But Iris," Zayen added gently, "just remember that sometimes the best choice isn't the one that feels safest, it's the one that gives you the most control over the outcome."

I nodded because he had a point even if I wasn't sure I was brave enough to act on it yet.

"I'm going to get dressed and then maybe we can discuss this more over breakfast," I said while standing up from my chair.

Both men headed toward the door but Ren paused and looked back at me with an expression that made my pulse quicken.

"Iris," he said quietly, "whatever you decide about the third Lykora situation, last night meant something to me and I hope it meant something to you too."

I smiled at him and felt warmth spread through my chest. "It meant everything to me, Ren. That doesn't change regardless of what happens with Elias."

The relief on his face made me want to cross the room and kiss him again but Zayen was still standing right there so I settled for giving him a look that promised we'd continue this conversation later.

After they left I sat back down at my desk and stared at the security reports while trying to figure out if I was brave enough to trust Elias Stormbane with my life again.

The problem was that in this universe he wasn't the man who had broken my heart.

The question was whether that made him safe or just a different kind of dangerous.