7. Just hate me

[Zeve’s POV]

“Yes, they said that they found this gift in the royal garden. I thought they were lying as usual, and I tried to stop them, but…” the little girl said and then glanced at me from behind Lucella.

She contemplated me. I smiled at her. With a quick gulp, she blinked and dropped her gaze.

“It’s ok Celeste.” Lucella took what looked like a fruit basket covered with a white cloth from the boys. “I have received the imperial gift and I will give it to lady Zeve. Now all of you may go back.”

The kids peeped at me from behind her.

“Can we see lady Zeve? We saw her in the hall from far away. Everyone in the palace is talking about her beauty. Can we see her once, please?” The boys hugged Lucella’s legs, peering at her with tear-filled eyes.

Princess Celeste stole glances at me, and I don’t know why I was nervous suddenly.

“Yes, Lucella. We won’t bother her. Can we get close to her?” Even Celeste requested Lucella.

Celeste had blonde hair and hazel eyes. Her composure was like that of a royal. The elegance and softness in her tone made me fall in love with her instantly.

“No, kids! You can’t! Go back…”

“Lucella,” I called out to her, and she looked at me. “Please… let them come…”

Before Lucella could react to my statement. The boys dashed to me. Celeste walked with Lucella to me later. 

“I am Yule. I am ten years old. Nice to meet you, my lady.” Yule held my finger with his small hand and kissed them. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

Yule was a handsome little prince with black hair and brown eyes.

In the Enver pack, kids never came close to me. Their parents kept them away from me. So, interacting with kids was a completely new experience for me.

“I am Jade. I am five years old. It’s an honour to meet you, my lady.” He said in his childish tone. He, too, wanted to kiss my fingers, but he was too short to reach me on the bed from the floor.

I bent from the bed to reach him when he kissed my fingers. Jade, too, had black hair and brown eyes. Jade and Yule resembled each other a lot. 

Celeste came forth, “greetings my lady. I am Celeste. I am twelve years old. It’s an honour meeting you.” She held my fingers and kissed them as well.

I looked at her, confused. I had never seen ladies greet the same way as men.

“This is the way girls greet elders in our Aurora pack,” Lucella said. “There is no difference between a girl and a boy. Like many packs, girls don’t lift their gowns and bow. It’s considered indecent here. Of course, they can decide not to kiss the fingers of the person they are greeting and just exchange words.”

I understood why lady Ella scolded Amor for not acquainting me with the rules of the Aurora pack. Lifting one’s gown was indecent there. How do I know? Except for the rules of the Enver pack, I learned nothing about the world beyond those walls.

Lucella placed the gift basket on the nightstand near my bed. “Kids, who gave this gift?”

“We can’t tell you. It’s a secret,” Jade smiled with his half teeth missing from his mouth.

“Kids, it’s important for me to know who gave you this before I present it to lady Zeve. It can be dangerous.” Lucella said in a threatening tone.

Jade and Yule looked at one another. After some time, they said, “we got it where we play in this palace.” Yule said.

“There was a letter.” Jade said.

“It said it was an imperial mission, and we delivered this gift to lady Zeve.” Yule said. 

“And then it said to burn the letter after reading it because it was top secret.” Jade said.

“So you burnt the letter?” Lucella snapped in disbelief.

“No, of course not.” Yule explained. “While we were crossing the garden, we sat near the fountain. Jade was playing with the letter. I told him not to, but he won’t listen. He dropped the letter in the fountain and all the ink was washed away. The parchment was dissolved too.” 

Lucella glared at Jade, and he shifted behind Celeste.

“I-it’s ok. Kids make mistakes…” I tried to cover for them when Lucella interrupted me.

“No, it’s not. I will have to inform Amor about this. Don’t uncover the cloth until I return.” She exited the room. 

Jade broke into tears. “Now I will be punished. Brother Amor will punish me.”

“You should have been careful, Jade. That letter was the only cue to reach the sender. Don’t worry… I will request brother Amor to not send you in isolation again.” Celeste said, and Jade started blubbering. 

I got down from the bed and knelt at Jade’s height. “It’s ok. Don’t cry. I will take the blame on me. Don’t worry…”

“No, you shouldn’t do that,” Celeste almost scolded me. “It’s not your fault, so why will you be the one receiving the punishment? Don’t belittle yourself. You are going to be the Luna of our pack.” Her words stung in my heart. 

“What exactly is in that?” Yule said. “If it isn’t something dangerous. None of us will be punished. Can’t we see it?”

“No, we can’t! Lucella clearly said not to touch it until she comes. Have patience.” Celeste said in a stern yet confident voice. She was more like Lucella in her attitude and behaviour. Cold, curious, but gentle. Completely under control and epitome of perfection.

Jade hugged me and bawled. I couldn’t see him cry like that. It reminded me of my cries. I hugged him tighter.

Why were my memories being triggered at the wrong places in front of the wrong people? I couldn’t panic in front of kids. They would be scared. I managed my breath and smiled at Jade. Picking him in my arm, I walked to the gift basket.

“No, please don’t, my lady. That can indeed be dangerous,” Celeste tried to stop me. Initially, she hesitated, but then she held my gown near my knees. 

“Don’t worry, sweety,” I placed my hand on her head. “I will be fine. I have seen worse things.” I could see her cheek turn pink. She pursed her lips and looked away, clenching my gown in her hands. 

Is she shy? Omg, she is so adorable. 

Carrying Jade in my one hand, I took off the white cloth from the other.

Meow. Meow. Meow.

I flinched at the sound. Jade stopped crying. From my arms, he looked at the basket.

“A kitty?” He said, snuffling. 

I opened the lid of the basket, and there was an infant kitten. Its eyes hadn’t opened. It meant it was under seven days.

“It’s a kitten!” Yule shouted in excitement. 

Celeste came closer to have a look, too. “It is white as snow and so cute.” She cleared her throat and managed her voice that had become less stiff. “I mean, it is beautiful…” Then she looked up at me, “… just like you.”

My heart skipped a beat.

Initially, I stared at her blankly, trying to process what I just heard, then I chuckled, “thank you, little princess.”

I felt so much better with the kids. I borrowed their contagious smile and purity. Their positive vibes were unfathomable. 

I put Jade on the bed, and he crawled to the nightstand. I reached out to hold the kitten in my hand…

“What is happening here?” I flinched at his voice and immediately closed the basket.

I looked at him entering the room. The kids turned stiff too as he strutted closer to us.

Lucella came a few seconds later.

“I leave for one second and you are ready to create trouble, aren’t you?” He glared at me.

My body stiffened. I stood looking at my fidgeting fingers while he stood at one hand distance from me. 

“Lucella, take the kids and leave.” He said, and I looked at Lucella and the kids.

“I will not. She got a gift…”

“Leave!” he ordered. Lucella locked her rage in her clenched teeth. The kids reluctantly got out of the room with her. He locked the door from inside and glared at me.

I gulped, lowering my gaze.

What did I do now? Is it because he thinks I was ‘acting’ during my panic attack? Why did he close the door? He looks angry. Is he going to hit me?

“Who gave you that gift?” He asked in his impassive voice.

My stomach churned. I scratched my nails as he walked closer to me. I flinched back when he stood in front of me. Then he passed by me and fetched the kitten from the basket.

I looked at him as he walked to the window. My room was on the first floor. If that poor infant kitten fell from that height, it would die.

“W-what are you doing?” I stepped towards him cautiously.

“Throwing it away.” He said casually.

“No!” I dashed to him and tried taking the kitten from his hand, but he lifted it higher, far out of my reach.

“Why not? Do you know who gave it to you?”

I tensed my brows and glared into his eyes. “I don’t. But if you throw it away, it will die.”

“So what? People, animals die every day…”

I tried taking it from his hands once again, but failed.

“Please… it’s a kitten. What did it ever do to you? Give it to me, please.” My heart was in my throat. When he could kill people like insects, he wouldn’t even think before killing the kitten.

He seized my arm with his free hand and pinned me against the window frame.

“Which one is the real you, Zeve? This fearless lady I see or what you act when my mother and Lucella are around. You are a cunning one, aren’t you? When I am alone with you, you can strangle me, cut my throat with a dagger, argue with me and treat me with your bitterness. Stop being double-faced. If there is someone I hate the most in the world, it is people who walk around wearing masks.”

I clenched my jaw, trying to free my arm from his grip.

“I don’t care! Think whatever you want. Even if I tell the truth, you won’t trust me. As for hatred. You can never hate me more than I hate you. I have reasons to loathe you, but you...”

“Right! I hate you unreasonably, unconditionally.” He smirked slightly with a cold, mocking sigh.

He grabbed my cheeks, and I drew in a quick breath.

“I knew it. It was all an act the other day, too. So why did you hug me when you can’t even tolerate me touching you? Why did you ask me to not leave when you can’t stand being around me? All that was an act, too?”

“It was an act. Like you… said…” I said in a muffled voice. He left my cheeks with a jerk. 

He put his hand holding the kitten outside the window, “if you want a war, you will get a war and in wars — people die, Zeve.”

“No!” I yelled. “No, please no!” I held his hand that held the kitten. Panting, I looked at him desperately. “It’s alive… Please don’t kill it.”

“A moment ago, you were ordering me, threatening me and now look at you — begging me.”

“I don’t care what you do to me. I have lost everything, anyway. But this kitten… its life has not even begun. Please… bring it in. Don’t kill it…” 

“Interesting. But as you know, everything in this world is traded. What can you give me for this kitten’s life?”

I blinked, clearing my tears. “I own nothing I could trade.”

“You have yourself. You can trade yourself. Marry me with no drama. You don’t care what happens to you, right? So do as I say and this kitten can live. Fair deal, isn’t it?” He said, lifting his brows.

“Be your puppet. Have no opinion of my own, live at your mercy. Breathe when you tell me and die when you want? Serve you throughout my life and be grateful that you kept me alive? I agree. Please let the kitten live.”

“No. Do you hear too much or you just have a kink for drama? I didn’t ask you to be my slave. I asked you to marry me. When you marry me, you will be my luna, not my property. It’s as simple as that.”

I peered into his eyes as he gazed into mine.

The zephyr through the window moved the curtains and our hair.

“I don’t have time. Yes or no?” He asked sharply.

Meow. Meow. Meow. 

I looked at the kitten. “I agree. Please give it to me…”

He brought his hand inside the room. I immediately enclosed the kitten in my palm and brought it near my chest. It was crying. I tried to comfort it close to my warmth.

Amor kept his gaze on me as I walked to the basket and gently placed the kitten in it. 

“One week from today. You will marry me. No more acting or drama in that time span.”

I didn’t look at him nor replied to him. Acting, huh?

Only if he had lived my life, he would know. But even though he was my enemy, I didn’t want him to go through what I went through. No one should ever live like I did.

“Ah!” He grabbed my arms, turned me around, and made me look at him.

“Look at me when I am talking to you,” he said, gritting his teeth. His face was too close to mine. I could feel his breath on my skin.

I struggled to get out of his grip when my sprained leg started hurting again. I stumbled and lost my balance, and so did he. 

I fell on the bed on my back, and he fell over me. He propped his body over me on his knee and hands. My brows wrinkled, peering at him while he had the same stoic face. I gulped, panting. His eyes travelled on my neck and collarbone and then at my lips. His eyes looked as if he was drunk.

“You are not a puppet. You are as alive as that kitten. If you cared about your life as much as you cared about hers… you wouldn’t be in this condition. As for your opinion. They don’t matter right now because you are like that infant kitten who can only cry and meow the whole day. But once the kitten grows and understands her worth — her opinions, decisions will matter.”

Our eyes moved in a sync. What does that mean now? I thought.

“As for your breaths…” he slid his hand from my neck to my lips. “... I can seize them whenever I want, and you don’t even need to die for that.” 

He leaned closer to me as I pressed my body into the bed, shutting my eyes. He got up. I got up as well.

“What exactly do you want from me?” That was the nth time I was asking him the same question and, as expected, he didn’t give me a straight answer.

“Just hate me.” He said casually and left. 

“Hate you, huh? Well, you don’t need to ask for it. Hatred comes naturally in my heart for you, Amor Blaze.”