Chapter Three

DAMIEN'S POV 

"Mr. Ross, the embryos are viable."

Dr. Chen's words should have filled me with relief, but instead I felt hollow. Across the consultation table, Emma squeezed my hand, her eyes bright with tears.

"That's wonderful," she breathed. "Catherine would be so happy."

Would she? I'd been asking myself that question for three weeks, ever since I'd signed the initial contracts. Catherine had wanted more children. We'd planned for three, maybe four. But she'd also been spontaneous, warm, nothing like this clinical process.

"We can begin the surrogate matching process immediately," Dr. Chen continued. "Given your preferences for health history and education level, I have three candidates who—"

"I need a moment," I said, standing abruptly.

Emma's smile faltered. "Damien?"

"Just a moment." I left the room, heading for the hallway.

My phone buzzed. A text from my mother: *How's Ethan? He refused breakfast again.*

I dialed her number. "What do you mean he refused?"

"Exactly that. Olivia made his favorites, but he wouldn't eat. He's been like this all week." She paused. "Since you announced the surrogacy plan."

"He's six. He doesn't understand what that means."

"He understands his father is trying to replace his mother. And that the woman who actually takes care of him is leaving in five months."

Five months. The contract would end April thirteenth. I'd already had my lawyers draft the termination paperwork, the final payment scheduled. Clean. Professional. 

"Olivia knew the terms when she signed," I said.

"Did she know you'd fall apart every year on Catherine's death anniversary? Did she know you'd sleep with her and then pretend it never happened?"

My hand tightened on the phone. "She told you."

"She didn't have to. I have eyes, Damien. And unlike you, I'm not blind to what's happening in my own home." My mother's voice softened. "That girl loves you. And you're destroying her."

"She's an employee."

"She's your wife. Legally, emotionally, in every way that matters to your son. But you're so busy mourning a ghost that you can't see what's right in front of you."

"Catherine wasn't a ghost. She was real. She was perfect."

"She was human. And she's gone. But Olivia is here, and she's—" My mother stopped abruptly. "Never mind. Make your choices. But don't pretend they won't have consequences."

She hung up.

I stood in the empty hallway, staring at my phone. Behind me, I heard the consultation room door open.

"Everything alright?" Emma asked.

"Fine. Just family issues."

"Ethan again?" She moved closer. "You know, once the baby comes, it might help him adjust. Give him purpose as a big brother."

"Maybe."

"And Olivia will be gone by then, so there won't be confusion about maternal figures." Emma's tone was casual, but her eyes were calculating. "It's better this way. Clean breaks are easier for children."

Something in her words made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't pinpoint why. "Let's finish with Dr. Chen."

We returned to find the doctor reviewing files. "I should mention, Mr. Ross, that surrogacy is emotionally complex. Many intended fathers benefit from counseling, especially when there's existing family dynamics to consider."

"I don't need counseling."

"Of course. I just want to ensure everyone's prepared. Your current wife, for instance—has she been part of these discussions?"

"My current wife is aware of my plans."

"But she's not involved in the process?"

Emma interrupted smoothly. "Olivia's role is temporary. This baby will be Damien's true heir, from his real marriage. There's no need to complicate things by involving her."

Dr. Chen's expression shifted slightly, professional mask slipping. "I see. Well, the legal contracts will need to specify custody arrangements and parental rights. Since you're legally married to someone else, there may be complications—"

"My lawyers will handle it," I said curtly. "What's the next step?"

We spent another hour reviewing surrogate profiles, medical procedures, timelines. Emma took notes, asked questions, played the role of supportive family member perfectly. By the time we left, my head was pounding.

"Lunch?" Emma suggested. "We should celebrate."

"I need to get back to the office."

"Damien." She touched my arm. "When's the last time you took a break? You're running yourself into the ground."

She wasn't wrong. I'd been working sixteen-hour days, burying myself in mergers and acquisitions to avoid going home. Avoiding the master bedroom where Olivia slept. Avoiding the memory of how she'd felt in my arms that one night.

"Fine. Lunch."

We went to the restaurant where Catherine and I had our first date. I didn't realize until we were seated that Emma had chosen it deliberately.

"Remember when you proposed?" she asked, smiling. "Right at that table over there. Catherine called me immediately, screaming about the ring."

I did remember. Catherine had been radiant, laughing, so alive.

"She'd want you to be happy," Emma continued. "She'd want you to move forward."

"I'm trying."

"Are you? Because from where I'm sitting, you're stuck. This surrogate baby, it's not moving forward. It's trying to go backward." She leaned in. "Catherine is gone. No baby is going to bring her back."

"I know that."

"Do you? Because I loved my sister, but this obsession isn't healthy. And it's not fair to Ethan, or to Olivia, or even to this baby you're planning to create."

I set down my fork. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe you should reconsider. Maybe you should focus on the family you have now instead of the one you lost."

"You were the one who encouraged this. You said Catherine would want—"

"I know what I said." Emma looked away. "But I've been watching you these past weeks. You're miserable. And I think part of you knows this is wrong."

My phone buzzed. A text from Olivia: *Ethan's school called. He got in a fight. I'm picking him up.*

"I need to go," I said, standing.

"Damien, wait—"

But I was already heading for the door, calling my driver.

*~*

I found Olivia in the principal's office with Ethan, who had a split lip and defiant eyes. The principal, Mrs. Morrison, looked exhausted.

"Mr. Ross, thank you for coming. We've discussed this incident with your wife, but I wanted you to hear it as well. Ethan punched another student who said his mother was dead and didn't count."

I looked at my son. "Ethan."

"He said Mom wasn't real because she's gone. And he said Olivia wasn't my real mom either because you're paying her." Ethan's voice cracked. "So I hit him."

Mrs. Morrison cleared her throat. "We have a zero-tolerance policy for violence. Ethan is suspended for three days."

"Understood," Olivia said quietly. "We'll talk to him about appropriate ways to handle his feelings."

"There's one more thing." Mrs. Morrison pulled out a drawing. "This was in Ethan's desk. I think you should see it."

The drawing showed four stick figures. One labeled "Dad," one labeled "Ethan," one labeled "Olivia," and a tiny one labeled "sister." They were all holding hands under a rainbow.

"Who's the sister?" I asked.

Ethan looked at his shoes. "The baby. The one Dad's making with the doctor lady."

"Son, that's not—"

"Olivia told me about babies. She said when people love each other, sometimes they make babies. So I thought maybe you and Olivia could make one too. A real one. Not one from frozen stuff."

The room went silent. I looked at Olivia, whose face had gone white.

"Ethan, that's not how it works," she said softly.

"Why not? Don't you want a baby?"

"That's not the point." Her voice was strained. "Your father and I, we're not... this isn't a real marriage."

"But you're married. I saw the wedding pictures at Grandma's house."

"It's complicated," I said, finding my voice. "The baby with the doctor is different. It's from your mother's eggs. It will be your real sibling."

"I don't want a real sibling from frozen eggs." Ethan's eyes filled with tears. "I want Olivia to stay. I want her to be my real mom. Why can't she just be my real mom?"

He ran out of the office. Olivia started to follow, but I caught her arm.

"Let me."

"He needs—"

"I know what he needs." I released her. "Wait here."

I found Ethan in the hallway, curled up against the lockers. I sat beside him, unsure what to say. Parenting had never been my strength. That had been Catherine's gift.

"I miss Mom too," I said finally.

"Then why are you making a new baby with her instead of keeping Olivia?"

"Because Olivia isn't your mother. She's... she's someone we hired to help."

"You hired her to be my mom. She does mom stuff. She makes breakfast and reads stories and knows when I'm sad without me saying it. How is that not a real mom?"

I didn't have an answer.

"If she leaves, I'll have nobody," Ethan whispered. "Mom's dead. You're always working. And now there'll be a new baby that you'll love more because it's from Mom's eggs. I'll be alone."

"You won't be alone. You'll always have me."

"No, I won't. You're already gone." He stood up, his small face old beyond his years. "Olivia's the only one who's actually here. But you're making her leave because she's not Mom. Nothing will ever be good enough because it's not Mom."

He walked away, leaving me sitting on the cold hallway floor.

When I returned to the office, Olivia was signing discharge papers.

"I'll take him home," she said without looking at me. "You should get back to work."

"Olivia—"

"Don't." Her voice was flat. "Just don't."

"He's confused. He doesn't understand the situation."

"He understands perfectly." She finally met my eyes, and what I saw there made me step back. Not hurt. Not anger. Just exhaustion. "He understands that you're choosing a ghost over the people who are actually here."

"That's not fair."

"None of this is fair." She picked up her purse. "But in five months, it won't be my problem anymore. You can have your surrogate baby and your perfect dead wife's legacy and your big empty house. I'll be gone."

She left before I could respond.

I stood alone in the principal's office, Ethan's drawing still on the desk. Four stick figures holding hands. A family that would never exist because I was too broken to let it.

My phone rang. Emma.

"How did it go with Ethan?"

"He's suspended."

"Poor thing. He's struggling with all the changes." A pause. "Damien, about what I said at lunch—I was wrong. You should do this. Catherine deserves to have her legacy continue."

"Why did you change your mind?"

"Because I realized something. As long as you're focused on the past, you won't see what's right in front of you. And that's exactly how it should be."

Something in her tone made my skin prickle. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I'll call you tomorrow about the surrogate interviews. We have three strong candidates."