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Chapter 44

If Michael knew that she blamed herself just as much as he did, would it change how he felt about her? Estel wished with all her heart that she had waited until she was fit to make a decision of that magnitude.

Estel realized she was not thinking well at that time.

There were moments when she woke up in the middle of the night, pondering the possibility that the child may have been healthy, or at the very least, not terribly disabled, to the point that it would have been able to live a normal life. Or had she ruined any possibility of his understanding by letting him know that she didn't want his baby in the first place?

For whatever reason, Estel had not been able to bring herself to the point where she could be completely honest with Michael. This was something that he had been looking forward to hearing from her. She had an irrational fear that he would throw her love back in her face or, what was worse, feel pity for her and decide to keep the marriage going for that reason inst
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