LOGINHis eyes were on me, dark, hungry, and desperate. Matching mine exactly."How much longer can you do this?" His voice was rough."I don't know," I whispered honestly. "I'm trying—""Stop trying," he interrupted, very desperately. "Just come back. Please."I was so torn. I wanted to, so badly. But the question was still unanswered in my head.His hand reached out and cupped my face. I leaned into it automatically, closed my eyes, and lived in the moment.His thumb stroked my cheek very gentle. "I miss you."Tears started forming in my eyes eyes. "I miss you too so much."The tears broke, and fell off my left eye.He stepped closer, and our bodies were almost touching. Then he brought his hand down to my waist.My hands went to his chest, and I felt his heartbeat racing. Like mine.The electricity between us was always there. It never faded, and it was consuming everything.My resistance was weakening. "We can't—""I know—"We both knew.But neither of us remembers who moved first. It d
The next day started in a whole new way. There's no more avoiding. Be civil. Show Mom and Dad how very close we are. Be the perfect siblings.We had breakfast together with Mom and Dad, both polite and present. The acting was so real that I was equally as thrilled as they both were. It felt really nice, truthfully."See! They worked it out!" Mom said to Dad.Dad agreed with him, and he even spoke about how he and Aunt Anna used to be like complete enemies when they were younger. "It's all normal. Trust me, when you get older you'll appreciate every moment, the fight, the happiness, the support and the fact that you both grew up together. Thomas my elder brother, of blessed memory was the one that used to separate us. But right now we appreciate everything. Just know when it's getting more than you both can handle."More than what we can handle?The truth was nothing had worked out. We were just better actors, and is there anything about t
It's day five, and the pattern only continued.Today, I decided it was going to be in my room the whole day. I skipped breakfast, and everything I was going to do was on my bed.I could hear him downstairs with our Mom and Dad.My phone was beside me on my bed.An unexpected knock came on my door at about 9 AM. "Scarlett?"Mom.Shit."Come in," I called out, sitting up fast with my laptop open.Mom entered with a very concerned face. She sat on my bed. "We need to talk."Uh oh."I'm working," I tried, showing her my screen.She wasn'tdeterred."What's going on with you and Jax?" I deflected. "Nothing. We've both been busy. Ask him, he's been busy."Mom shook her head. "You're avoiding him. It's very obvious now."I can't deny that."We're just in different places," I admitted, struggling to explain. "It's complicat... It's not... It's not complicated, we're just growing up."Mom's worry was very clear and obvious."It's just it Mom. Growing up."Tears started forming on my face. I co
Day three of space, and it was starting to become very unbearable.My new strategy was to avoid him completely. Wake up earlier and leave before he's up.I set my alarm for 6:00 AM. I'll fix something for my self. Breakfast alone would be safer.It worked. The kitchen was empty when I got downstairs. Mom was not down yet, and i had coffee, by myself.I left the house before anyone else woke up.My guilt at actively avoiding him was growing. This wasn't just space. This was running. But it felt necessary.I went to a coffee shop paid for a drink, dropped it on the table, pulled out my laptop and started working. Time passed. Morning started turning into afternoon, and that space, being outside of the house gave me the chance to be able to do work. Real work.I didn't return until past 8 PM. They've already had dinner.Mom had saved me a plate. She saw me when she wanted to get out of the kitchen, so she just turned in and started reheating it."You missed dinner." She asked when I go
The ray of the orange morning light shown across the room, waking me up, and the first thing I did was remember last night. The conversation, and the pain returned immediately. Freshly.I checked my phone. There were no messages from him. And I could say i expected My certainty was still there though. I did the right thing. It's painful, very painful but still the right thing to do.Time to get up. Shower, get ready and have a boring day.Down the hall, Jax was probably waking up too. In his room where he'd barely slept, I was guessing, probably staring at his ceiling, replaying our conversation, and every single thing in his head again.Everything I said, the questions i asked. They were probably killing him.His certainty was probably unchanged though. It's real, she'll see eventually.But the waiting, that has to be torture.I tried to get ready, and I did. It was my normal routine. The dread was real for both of us. How to act, what to say, and how to pretend everything is norma
I was pacing my room rehearsing words in my head that I knew would hurt him. My heart was racing, and i was literally dreading this conversation but I had to do it.The day was very short, and very long at the same time. It's just five minutes until midnight, and Mom and Dad were asleep. The house was very quiet.My certainty kept wavering. This was going to hurt us both so much. But it was necessary. I've texted him to come, and I'm waiting for his response, or knock on my door.My phone buzzed, and the screen lit up.Jax: "On my way"The soft knock came just a few minutes after I got the text. I'd been expecting it but it still made my heart jump.I took a deep breath. "Come in."He entered, closing the door behind him and locking it automatically. When he turned to face me he was smiling, and that made everything worse.He started coming toward me, his arms were already reaching to pull me close like this was normal. Like we were normal.I put my hand up. "Wait."He stopped immedia
"He's nice," I said, which was true but also obviously not really an answer, but it felt like a good thing to say.Lexi made this frustrated noise and said "Nice? That's what you're going with?" "What do you want me to say?" "I don't know. That you're into him?
Everyone was together now in this loose comfortable circle that felt familiar and easy in a way that made my chest completely loosen.Miles, Alex, Vera, and two others whose names I knew but didn't really use outside of group hangouts—everyone was here with drinks in their hands and exci
The word hung in the air heavy with everything we couldn't say, and I looked away first because I couldn't handle the weight of it, couldn't handle what I saw in his eyes when he said it.My heart was pounding and my hands felt shaky and I hated that he could still do this to me, could s
I heard the sound of everything before I even entered. Stepping back into the ballroom felt like entering a completely different world than the one I'd left twenty minutes ago.The space was still glittering with chandeliers and crowded with even more elegant people holding champagne flutes, classi







