Chapter 15: After Cooling Off for a While I Realize Something

Days weren’t good for the two. Avyanna had become even busier, engrossed in securing good deals for herself, and as a result, she rarely visited Kairus’ coffee shop anymore. On the other hand, Kairus seemed to be deliberately avoiding Avyanna as well. During class recitations, Kairus didn’t even dare to argue with Avyanna, unlike before when their debates would sometimes light up the room. The entire class noticed the strange tension between them, but Avyanna didn’t give it much thought, nor did she care about their curious glances and whispered speculations. That was the right thing to do — to act like nothing was wrong.

After all, they were never meant to be anything more. Kairus already had a fiancée waiting for him, and Avyanna’s life was entangled with dangers he could never imagine. Their paths were destined to diverge. Kairus belonged to a world of light, security, and a clear future, while Avyanna was submerged in a life filled with shadows and risks. It was as if he was the heaven — pure, unreachable — and Avyanna was the hell — dangerous, forbidden. Those two worlds were never meant to meet, let alone intertwine. No matter what fleeting connection existed between them, it was doomed from the very beginning.

“Avyanna,” a voice called out, snapping her out of her wandering thoughts. She blinked and turned toward the direction the voice came from, her heart still slightly heavy from the memories she was trying to suppress. It was Ruth, standing a few feet away.

Currently, Avyanna was at the Public Library, their usual rendezvous point whenever they needed to meet discreetly. As was typical, she was waiting for Ruth to finish handling a transaction with someone Avyanna didn’t even bother to know the name of. It wasn’t necessary; what mattered was the mission they were focused on.

“You’re spacing out,” Ruth said with a disapproving tone as she approached. “Do you think that’s helpful for our mission? Please, whatever you’re thinking about, set it aside. If it’s him you’re thinking of, you better stop that right now—”

“I wasn’t thinking about him,” Avyanna cut in firmly, her voice sharp enough to silence Ruth’s accusations.

“Is that so? I can still sense—” Ruth started to argue, unwilling to let it go so easily.

“Please don’t pry anymore," Avyanna interrupted, her tone weary but resolute. "You’re making me feel uncomfortable, and I already know what you’re going to say — that I must forget him, that it’s the only right thing to do. And I am doing it. I’m trying, every day. So please, stop reminding me. I don’t need the extra burden.”

Ruth nodded slowly, understanding flashing briefly across her eyes. “I got it. You don’t want to talk about it. I understand," she said in a calmer tone. "Just make sure that thing doesn’t affect our mission, Avyanna. I’m not just your work partner — I’m your friend. We’ve shared memories, and you’ve seen me grow up inside that black house, just like I’ve watched you. We’ve been through so much together. I don’t want to harm you, the same way I know you don't ever want to harm me.”

Avyanna looked at Ruth, her heart clenching. What Ruth said was true — painfully true. They had known each other for years, bound by experiences most people couldn’t even begin to imagine. They had survived together. They had become each other's family in a world where trust was a rare commodity. She let out a long, weary sigh, her emotions heavy on her chest.

“I just... I miss him,” Avyanna admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I want the old us back again. It’s just... it’s my fault. It’s my fault that he’s staying away from me. I pushed him away. I made him believe that he should.”

Ruth seated herself next to Avyanna, her presence offering a quiet sense of comfort. She placed a hand gently on Avyanna’s shoulder and said, “Do you really think what you’ve done was right? Maybe... maybe you should ask him how he truly feels. Hear his side of the story. Don’t just carry all the guilt alone, Avyanna. Whatever you two have — or had — it’s about the both of you. It’s not just about you or him separately. It’s about the connection you shared together.”

After a moment of heavy silence between them, Ruth stood up and slipped her hand into her pocket, pulling out her phone to check the time. After a quick glance, she tucked it back into her pocket with a small nod of urgency.

“Now, get up," Ruth said firmly but not unkindly. "The client is already here.”

Avyanna quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stood up without another word. Ruth had already started walking, her steps confident, and Avyanna simply followed. Together, they exited the quiet sanctuary of the library, stepping into the crisp air of the outside world.

They made their way through a network of narrow alleys, paths where few people dared to walk. The streets were littered, and the smell of dampness clung to the walls, but they moved with purpose, knowing exactly where they needed to go. After walking for a while, they spotted a group of men loitering around, sitting lazily on and around a pile of garbage bins.

One of the men straightened up upon seeing them and gave a slight nod. "Good thing you’re here, Ms. Ruth and Ms. Yna," he said casually.

That was the name they were known by in the underground circles — aliases that concealed their true identities, keeping them safe in a world where being known was often a death sentence.

"Of course, we’re here. Same item, same weight — so pay the exact amount," Ruth said in a cold, businesslike tone, her eyes sharp and unblinking.

Without a word, Avyanna stepped forward and handed the package to one of the men lounging on the bins. The transaction was smooth, practiced — they had done this kind of exchange too many times before to feel any hesitation now.

"Of course. Thank you — this is the best product," said the man dressed in black, his voice low and gravelly as he inspected the package carefully.

"Of course, as always," Avyanna replied coolly, her face giving nothing away.

The conversation between them continued for a few more minutes, just enough to finalize the details and ensure there were no hidden surprises. Words were chosen carefully, casually, but everyone knew a wrong move could change the air in an instant.

Once everything was done, Avyanna and Ruth exchanged a glance and silently decided it was time to leave. They didn't linger longer than necessary in places like this.

"Let’s get some coffee," Ruth suggested suddenly as they walked away from the meeting spot, her voice lightening a little after the tension.

Avyanna paused mid-step, giving Ruth a skeptical look. "Coffee?"

"Yes. Coffee," Ruth said, a rare teasing smile tugging at her lips. "Come on, let’s go."

Without another word, they hailed a cab and directed the driver toward the nearest coffee shop. The ride was quiet, each lost in their own thoughts, the city lights flashing past the windows like ghosts.

When they finally arrived and stepped into the warm, cozy interior of the café, Avyanna’s steps faltered. Her eyes immediately caught sight of Kairus, sitting at a table near the window, engaged in a conversation with a girl.

Avyanna watched for a moment, her heart tightening against her will. Even from a distance, she could tell — Kairus wasn’t really interested. His posture was stiff, polite but distant, his gaze drifting anywhere but at the girl in front of him.

“That person might melt,” Ruth muttered under her breath, her tone half-amused, half-mocking as she nodded toward the girl who seemed to be trying too hard to win Kairus’ attention.

Avyanna simply shrugged, forcing herself to look away, and made her way toward an empty table without another word. She couldn't afford to be caught staring — not now, not ever.

“I’ll just do a takeout. I have errands to do,” Avyanna said, her voice firm but distant, as she avoided looking in Kairus’ direction.

Ruth narrowed her eyes at her, clearly unconvinced. “Errrraaannddsss?” she said, dragging the word out teasingly, a smirk forming on her lips.

“Yeah. Errands,” Avyanna repeated, crossing her arms lightly over her chest, refusing to rise to Ruth’s bait.

Before Ruth could throw in another teasing comment, a staff member approached their table, a cheerful bounce in their step.

“It’s nice to see you again here, Ms. Avi! And your friend, right?” the staff said with a bright smile, recognizing them immediately.

Avyanna gave a small nod, keeping her expression neutral. “Same order," she said shortly.

“Yes, of course," the staff responded, jotting it down quickly.

“Takeout,” Avyanna added firmly, glancing away toward the counter, pretending to be distracted.

"I’ll do dine-in," Ruth chimed in casually, flashing a grin that made it clear she wasn’t about to let Avyanna slip away that easily.

The staff nodded, confirming their orders before leaving them for a moment of awkward silence. Ruth leaned her elbow on the table, watching Avyanna closely, a knowing gleam in her eyes.

Avyanna, meanwhile, tried to steel herself. Every fiber of her body was aware of Kairus being just a few tables away — too close, yet feeling a world apart.

After receiving her order, Avyanna quietly slipped out of the coffee shop, clutching the warm paper bag in her hands. She didn’t spare another glance inside; her chest already felt too heavy. The familiar weight of loneliness was something she had gotten used to — or at least, she tried to convince herself she had.

Her feet moved almost on their own, carrying her to a place her heart remembered all too well — the park where she and Kairus had gone that night. That night that had felt so simple, so perfect, yet so far away now.

When she arrived, she noticed immediately that the park wasn’t silent at all. It was lively, almost overwhelmingly so. Children were running around, their laughter filling the air, couples were sitting together on benches, holding hands, whispering to each other, and random strangers were scattered about, lost in their own worlds.

Avyanna barely paid attention to any of them. She made her way through the noise and found herself heading toward a familiar spot — near the river, where the water reflected the burning orange and gold of the setting sun. She sank down onto the grass, her legs folding beneath her, the takeout bag forgotten beside her.

She sat there for a moment, simply watching the water flow, the ripples catching the last dying light of the day. It was peaceful in a way her heart hadn’t felt for a long time.

“This is beautiful... the sunset,” she murmured to herself, a soft, bittersweet smile ghosting across her lips.

“Is it?" a voice came from behind her, slightly breathless.

Startled, Avyanna quickly turned her head — and there he was. Kairus. His chest was heaving like he had been running, his hair slightly disheveled, and his eyes... those eyes were looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered.

“You’re here," Avyanna said, her voice barely above a whisper, as if she couldn't quite believe it was real.

Kairus took a few shaky steps toward her, struggling to catch his breath — not just from the physical effort but from the storm of emotions that were clearly raging inside him.

“I just realized something..." he started, his voice rough with emotion, "Something that... I can't... I can’t do this anymore." He took another step closer, his fists clenching as if trying to hold himself together. "I don’t want to be away from you."

His words hit Avyanna like a blow she hadn’t been prepared for. She stared at him, frozen, as he poured out the feelings he could no longer keep locked inside.

"I miss the closeness between us. I miss you, Avyanna. I miss everything about you," Kairus said, his voice cracking slightly at the end. He drew in a shaky breath, his next words coming out raw and unfiltered.

"I love you."

The confession hung in the air between them, heavier than anything the world could have thrown at her.