SANDRA'S HEART TALES (based on a true life experiences)

Part 2.

By Amah's Heart.

My Dad's behavior wasn't getting any better. My mum stopped asking him what the problem was and try readjust to the new situation.

Viva comes around, she also has two kids but no husband.

Viva's husband was late and she was raising her two young children.

I never knew all this while that my Dad wasn't my real father.

When my Mom got pregnant for me, it was actually for Palo and not for my Dad.

My Dad didn't know and nobody knew about it but my mother told her best friend Viva that my Dad wasn't my real father but Palo was.

Viva promised to keep it all a secret.

When my Dad was acting strange, Viva will comfort my Mom. She was like a family friend who comes around often.

My Mom will cry out her pain to her over my dad's sudden strange behavior.

Viva will tell my Mom to ignore my dad's attitude.

I finished with my secondary education, i had to proceed to the university to further my studies cause my dream had always been to become a Doctor.

I always knew that after I graduate in the university I will go for my masters degree program in abroad.

After I completed my secondary education, I started making plans to proceed to the university.

But shockingly my father said that he has no money for me to further my studies.

I was in shock because we are not poor nor very rich.

I am from a moderate family that could afford for me to study at any institute of my choice. So I was shock when my father said he had no money for me to go to the university.

I have to stay at home for one year, waiting till when my Dad will change his mind for me to continue my studies.

My biological father, that's Palo was later married years later after my mom break up with him when she discovered that she was pregnant.

Palo knew that the pregnancy was his own and not rightfully my mum's husband.

my mother ended things with Palo when she was newly pregnant with me. Palo decided to respect my mom's wish and also because he didn't want my mother to get into any trouble.

He played cool and let my Mom enjoy her marriage in peace without coming in between.

Even though he had wanted my Mom for himself and also the pregnancy but he knew my Mom's heart was for my Dad and he couldn't convince her or force her to stay.

He also did not want to be the reason she will have misunderstanding in her marriage.

Palo have to let it all go, he later got married and focused on his family.

The two people that knew about the affair and the baby was Palo and Viva.

Palo was living in another state with his wife, faraway from us.

After many years of marriage, Palo had no child with his wife.

They tried to conceived through different means but none worked out for them.

So with all this issue going on, Palo found a way to contact my Mom.

He was secretly begging my mother that he want his child, Which is me.

Palo told my Mom that he wants to see me and wouldn't mind flying or driving all the way down to the State that we live in.

but my mom refused.

My Mom denied him access to me and refused his plea.

She told Palo that he will be bringing more trouble to her home if he starts with his claims.

Palo has to come to reasons. He let it go.

But he was never aware of what was going on in our home. And was never aware that I was unable to proceed with my studies since my dad claims he has no money.

And the first year was over after staying home without going to the university. Second year came and still past I was still home. I began to get worried and was always in tears.

my mother felt for me but she could not do other wise. She was still wondering why my dad will treat me that way. She always console me that all will be fine.

she asked me not to worry that she will raise money on her own to sponsor me to school.

Her words made me stay positive but how will my Mom raise money when she wasn't really working. She depends on my Dad for the house upkeep.

My kid sister who was following me direct also completed her secondary education at the end of the second year when I was home.

The third year came and no sign of me proceeding my studies.

My kid sister, Lucia got an admission in higher institute. which was far more expensive than the university I wanted to go.

My Dad paid all her fees and sent her off to school. I remained at home.

That act of our dad was so painful to me.

I cry and cry all through because I don't know what my offence was and why my supposed Dad refused to send me to school but instead send Lucia to a very expensive institution.

I couldn't take it anymore. I summoned courage and went to my dad, I asked him to tell me my offence. I have always does everything he says, I obeyed his every order. I was a good girl to the core and never goes against his rules or that of mother.

I lived as a good example for my younger siblings and never questioned his authorities but what I don't understand was his strong refusal in allowing me go to the university. I have been home for over three years even before Lucia finished her secondary.

he sent Lucia to one of the best high institution even after complaining of not having money for me to go to school.

I told him that If I did offend him without knowing I pleaded to be forgiven.

I Could not hold my tears anymore but to cry it out in the presence of my dad.

All he could say was that he is fine with me that I have done nothing wrong to him.

He could not give me any reason why I should be staying home and my kid sis is in a higher institution.

He just dismissed me without any hope to hold onto.

I could not take it any more but kept wondering why my dad will treat me that way.

And my mother, knowing how troubled I was still did not mention anything to me.

And as the years come and go my dad has never asked anything from my mother. they still do not share same bedroom and he doesn't eat her food.

One day, i told my mom that I wonder if my dad is my biological father because no father will treat his daughter like the way he was treating me.

I asked her to tell me what she knows, if she has any clue on why my Dad was misbehaving towards her and towards me too.

Because I don't understand all that was going on.

I was suppose to be rounding up with my degree program but here I was at home, no hope of furthering my studies.

So I insisted but my mother kept denying that she knows nothing.

The trauma was too much. I cry every morning. At times she will meet me in the room crying, some times late in the night she will hear me sobbing. She could not bear it any more to see me been punish for a crime I did not commit.

She was so worried too and had sleepless night but she was scared to tell me the whole truth because she wasn't sure if my Dad changed because he found out about her past.

She did not know how to tell me that the man I have always loved and was bearing his name and also called him dad for 25years was not my real father.

My Mom wondered how my Dad will even get to know the truth.

The only person she spoke with over all her secrets was Viva, whom she trusted so much.

Viva was begining to act nicely around my Dad whenever she comes around.

She will sometimes sit in the living room with him, laughing and talking over whatever they were watching on the television while my mother will remain inside the room.

My mother decided to ask Viva if she mentioned anything to my Dad.

Viva assured my Mom that she will never do such to her.

That she was only been so close and friendly to my Dad so that she will find out the reason behind his ill attitude.

Even though she has no husband of her own, only her two kids she will never betray my mother.

She said that my Dad is a loving and nice to be with and the reasons behind his sudden change is what she doesn't know and she never mentioned anything to him.

My Mom believed her, so most times if she comes around instead staying with my Mom, Viva will stick around my Dad.

My mom believed that her dear friend was only acting along just to find out what made my Dad change towards her and also towards me.

Since Viva has become a family friend, my mom's best friend and my Dad was equally okay with her. My mother never suspected anything.

My mom still praises her as her best friend and the only one trustworthy enough to protect her secrets.

While Lucia was in school, I remained at home, hoping that one day my Dad will have a change of heart and send me to school so that I can achieve my dream of becoming a doctor.