LOGINA few days passed in a strange, suspended kind of quiet.No messages from Cassian.No calls.No angry knocks at my door.Nothing.Just silence.The kind of silence that feels louder than screaming.I told myself it was better this way. That maybe he finally understood I needed space. That maybe he was giving me the room to breathe, to think, to figure out who I was without his shadow always falling over me. But the truth was uglier: the silence hurt. It hurt in a dull, constant way, like a bruise you keep pressing on just to see if it still aches.And it did.Every day.I went back to work at the library because routine was the only thing keeping me tethered. The smell of old paper, the soft thump of books being reshelved, the low murmur of students and retirees—it all felt like armor. Something solid I could hide behind while my mind spun in endless circles.That afternoon I was in the back stacks again, pushing the return cart between the towering shelves, not really seeing the titl
I stood under the shower for what felt like forever, letting the hot water pound against my shoulders until my skin turned pink and the steam clouded the mirror so thick I could barely see my own reflection. My hands shook as I scrubbed between my legs, trying to wash away the evidence of what I’d just done, but no amount of soap could erase the warmth still lingering inside me, the faint pulse of Noah’s release deep where no one else had ever been. I pressed my forehead against the tile and breathed through the panic, slow and deliberate, telling myself over and over that it was just once, that the odds were tiny, that I wasn’t stupid enough to get pregnant from one reckless moment.But the fear stayed.It coiled low in my belly, sharp and cold, whispering worst-case scenarios until I felt sick.When the water finally ran cold, I turned off the faucet with numb fingers and stepped out. I wrapped myself in the hotel’s too-small towel and opened the bathroom door.Noah was standing r
My thighs burned with every rise and fall, muscles trembling from the relentless rhythm I’d set. Noah’s hands gripped my hips—not guiding, not forcing, just holding on like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go. I rode him harder than I ever had, hips snapping down, rolling forward, grinding in tight circles that made him groan deep in his throat every time I took him to the hilt.The couch creaked beneath us, springs protesting the frantic pace. Sweat slicked our skin, making every slide smoother, hotter. My breasts bounced with each thrust, nipples tight and aching from the cool air and the friction of his chest hair against them when I leaned forward. I didn’t care how desperate I looked. I needed this—needed the burn, the stretch, the way he filled me so completely I couldn’t think about anything else.“Fuck—Ivy—” Noah’s voice was wrecked, strained. “Slow down, baby, I’m too close—”“No,” I gasped, nails digging into his shoulders. “Don’t you dare hold back.”I clenched arou
I shifted in his lap, straddling him properly now, knees on either side of his hips. His hands automatically settled on my waist—gentle, careful, the way he always touched me when he wasn’t sure what I wanted.“Ivy—” he started, voice soft, uncertain.I didn’t let him finish.I leaned in and kissed him—hard. Desperate. Like I was trying to pour everything I couldn’t say into his mouth. My tongue pushed past his lips, tasting the faint trace of beer and mint, tasting him. He groaned low in his throat, fingers flexing on my hips, but he didn’t push. He let me lead.I broke the kiss just long enough to grab the hem of his T-shirt and yank it over his head. He lifted his arms to help, eyes wide, pupils blown dark with surprise and want.“Ivy, wait—” he tried again, hands coming up to cup my face. “You don’t have to do this. I know your head’s full of him. I don’t want to be—”“Shh.” I pressed two fingers to his lips. “Don’t mention anyone else’s name. Not tonight. There’s only us here. Ju
I thought Noah would want me the second the hotel door closed behind us. I expected him to push me against the wall the way Cassian so often did—hands rough, mouth demanding, fingers already tugging at my clothes like he couldn’t wait another second. Part of me wanted that. Needed it, maybe. The raw, physical certainty of being taken, of letting someone else decide the rhythm so I didn’t have to think. So I could drown the confusion in sensation and forget how torn I felt inside.But he didn’t.Noah just looked at me for a long moment, eyes soft in the dim hallway light, then reached out and pulled me into his arms. Not possessively. Not urgently. Just… gently. Like I was something breakable he wanted to keep safe. His chin rested on top of my head, one hand cradling the back of my neck, the other wrapped low around my waist. I felt his heartbeat through his T-shirt—steady, calm, nothing like the frantic racing of mine.I stood there stiff for a second, waiting for the shift. For the
The hotel room felt smaller now, the lamp on the bedside table throwing soft amber shadows across the walls. Rain tapped against the window in a steady, gentle rhythm—nothing like the violent storm from a few nights ago, just a quiet reminder that the world kept moving even when everything inside me felt stuck.Noah sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, hands clasped loosely in front of him. His shoulders were tense, but his face was calm—too calm, like he’d practiced this moment in his head a hundred times. I sat beside him, close enough that our thighs touched, but not touching. The space between us felt careful, deliberate. Like we were both afraid of breaking something fragile.He took a slow breath.“I really missed you,” he said quietly. “Not just for the sex. Not even mostly for that. I missed… this. Just sitting with you. Hearing you breathe. Knowing you’re here.”I felt my chest tighten. I reached for his hand, lacing my fingers through his. His palm was warm,







