CHAPTER THIRTY - NINE

NICK WALKER ©

I was that nineteen-year-old boy who didn't have his life figured out like everyone else seemed to.

It wasn't an easy life, but I had no choice but to pull myself together.

From the moment my mother left, I planned the path I wanted to follow.

Stay by Mira's side until the very end.

Work until I had everything settled for her.

And earn a scholarship to college to avoid college bills.

Nothing about me mattered as long as I had everything figured out for Mira.

But why did I suddenly want something for myself for the first time?

There was only one thing I wanted to get so bad.

And it was the man standing right in front of me.

I couldn't understand why, but I knew one thing for sure.

I didn't want to stay away from him.

I wanted those moments between us to continue.

Lorenzo Grayson.

I didn't truly know what I wanted from life, but somehow, I knew I wanted him to be part of mine.

Was that wrong?

“Then get on your knees,Nick,” Enzo said, holding my gaze as my heart pounded so hard that it hurt.

I started to go on my knees, but before I could get down, he gripped my hand tightly against the door, stopping me.

He let out a breath and slowly released his grip on my hands.

He loosened the tie around his neck a little and walked back to his chair, sitting down behind his desk.

Why was he backing away?

“Enzo…” I started, but he cut me off.

“These are the test scripts. Take them with you and leave,” he said, pushing them forward to me.

He started to work on the computer in front of him, completely avoiding mine.

And somehow, that made my chest tighten even more.

“You're just going to act like nothing happened?” I asked but he ignored me.

“Enzo,” I called.

He removed his glasses before sighing, gently placing his face in his palm.

“Nick… please. Just leave right now,” he said without looking up at me.

I slowly clenched my fist.

My nails pressed into my palm, hoping the small pain would distract me from the ache in my chest.

“I'll take my leave, then,” I said quietly.

My voice barely came out.

I picked up the scripts, unlocked the door and stepped out, only to find Vanya leaning against the wall outside.

She rolled her eyes the moment she saw me.

My mind immediately started to race.

What if Enzo stopped because of Vanya?

I knew Enzo couldn't deny the tension between us earlier. I felt it, and I knew he did too.

But what if he pulled away because of her?

Or maybe because of Professor Douglas?

“Why are you everywhere?” Vanya asked, dipping her hands inside her coat. “You're one of the reasons Vadim isn't thinking straight.”

She sighed as she walked into the office.

I stood there for a moment, thinking about her words.

I was one of the reasons Enzo couldn't think straight?

I couldn't help but wonder what she meant by that.

Before I could think any further, I remembered something Enzo had said about Vanya.

It didn't match what she had mentioned to me yesterday at work.

“What took you so long?” Avery asked as I walked back into class.

She was standing outside, waiting for me to bring the scripts I was supposed to get from Enzo.

“Nerd, what took you so long?” voices called out from different corners of the hall.

The students shouted and laughed as I walked in, drawing attention to myself.

I quickly placed the scripts down.

“I’m really sorry. I’ll start handing them out now,” I said nervously into the table microphone.

I began calling out names, giving each person their script until there was no more.

“I got a C minus,” Avery said, looking through her paper as we walked toward the lawn.

“I got an A plus,” I replied.

She immediately grabbed my script from my hands and compared it with hers.

“What was I expecting?” she said with a small laugh.

She sat down on the fresh grass and looked up at me.

“You’re that brilliant sophomore nerd everyone knows you as.”

I sat down on the grass and dropped my bag beside me. I let out a long sigh as I leaned back a little.

My thoughts drifted right back to what happened earlier in Enzo’s office.

What was going on between us?

Was I really jealous of what Vanya had said yesterday?

The thought made me pause.

Jealousy only happened when you cared about someone. So why did I feel like this?

I shook my head a little.

I didn’t like Enzo. I couldn’t.

It didn’t feel right.

None of this did. Everything between us felt confusing, like I was stepping into something I didn’t understand.

But it felt like I couldn't control how I felt whenever he was around.

“Nick,” Avery called and I turned to her.

“Huh?”

She scoffed softly.

“What on earth were you thinking about?” she asked and I went quiet, before shaking my head.

“You didn't hear me calling you?” she asked again.

“Sorry,” I said. “I was just trying to clear my messed up mind.”

Avery raised a brow.

“What's the matter? Is this…” She paused and let out a small sigh.

“Does this have to do with Grayson?” she asked in a low voice and I pressed a hand to my face.

“I feel like shit, Avery,” I said, my voice tight like I might break.

“I don't even know what's going on with me. I just can't figure it out,” I whispered.

A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it.

What was I even crying for?

I didn't even understand why I felt so sad.

“Nick, what's going on?” she asked quickly, her voice full of worry, and hugged me tight.

“Everything will be fine, Nick. We'll figure out your messed mind together,” she said softly, trying to calm me down.

For the first time, I felt scared of something I couldn't even explain.