CHAPTER 16

I sat on the edge of the couch, head on her shoulder, staring at nothing. My body was still, but my mind? Loud,shattered and exhausted. It crept up on me slowly, like a wave that approaches you unsuspectingly before it hits you.

"I should have called my lawyer," I croaked, my throat parched. "That's what I should have done in the beginning. Why didn't I do that? How didn't I think of that?"

My mom's head had risen from the place she sat, turning to face me. Her eyes were steady, but firm. "Don't beat yourself up, that’s why I'm here, sweetie. To think when you can't. When you're this tired... this broken."

There was a lump in my throat. I nodded, barely able to force the words past my lips. She was correct, I hadn't been thinking. Clearly, I hadn't been thinking at all. The panic had taken over and my sense of reasoning evaporated.

I grabbed for my phone with a trembling hand, finally prepared to call my attorney. But before my fingers could reach the screen, it buzzed. A call had come in.

Jonathan.

I glanced at my mom. "It's the PR man."

She didn't bat an eyelash. "Answer it."

I swiped my thumb over the screen and held the phone to my ear. "Yes, Jonathan. Any news?"

"We've been able to get the post removed from the original blog," he said immediately. I felt a heavy weight lifted from my chest. "And also from most of the major blogs that reposted it. We issued instant takedown notices and informed the other blogs that unless they complied, we would prosecute. That worked. At least, temporarily."

Relief swelled up inside me, fragile as it was. "Well," I said. "Make everyone take it down. Do everything you can."

"We are. But there is one problem.".

My heart sunk in my chest, what was it this time?

"The original source, whomever sent in the story anonymously, used a VPN.  Apparently, the IP address is masked and routed through multiple countries. So we've not been able to trace the person yet. They did a really good job of covering their tracks."

I shivered. "So we don't know who did this."

"Yet. We're doing all we can, but it may take some time."

“Keep me posted, I said to him, and hung up.

I kept my thumb there for a beat, wondering why someone was making so much effort to sabotage me. Finally, I dialed my lawyer's name and put the phone back to my ear. He picked up almost right away.

"Liana," he said, steady and assured. "I was expecting your call."

"I should have called you earlier," I said to him. "I just… I don't know what to do.".

"Yes, I know," he said softly. "That's my role. I figured you'd be reeling, so I went ahead and jumped in. I've already talked to your PR people. We're on the same page."

I let out a relieved sigh. "Why didn't you mention it to me?"

"I thought you needed some room to breathe. While you were preoccupied with surviving the blowback, I began damage control.”

That comforted me more than I expected. A tear slid down my cheek, but I did not wipe it away.

"Jonathan told me that they were able to get the main blogs to take it down," I told him, "but they still can't find the source.".

"Yes. Whoever posted it used VPN masking. It'll be difficult to trace the original IP, but I've got a contracted forensic digital expert who will be able to assist. In the meantime, I've already drafted a cease and desist letter. We're issuing a public notice of law as we speak, warning that whoever re-publishes or does not take down the content will be legally pursued. No confusion."

My breath finally escaped me in a rush. A small part of me, maybe the part that still existed intact felt lighter.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Seriously… Thank you so much."

"You're not alone, Liana. We'll get through this."

I hung up and sat down, carefully putting the phone on the couch beside me. For a moment, I just sat there, letting the silence surround me. It wasn't as crushing now.

My mother stood up and came across the room, arms out. In an instant, I was on my feet again, and in her arms.

Her arms wrapped around me, firm and warm and safe. I leaned my cheek against her shoulder, inhaling the scent of perfume, something soft and reassuring from childhood.

And for the first time that day… I felt like I could breathe. Like actually breathe.

"I think I can eat something now," I grunted, my voice barely above a whisper.

She stepped back to look at me. "Then let's get you something to warm you up."

I nodded. While she went off toward the kitchen, I sat there, gazing at my still phone on the couch. The screen light had faded away, but for the first time, it no longer felt so menacing. It looked like something I could take. It looked like something I could hold without fearing the next notification that would pop up.

Maybe it's time to learn how to defend myself differently. Not with fear, no. But with strategies.

I followed my mother into the kitchen, the soft sounds of her making tea holding me in place. I sat on the counter, letting the warmth of the moment seep into my very bones.

When she handed me a steaming mug and sat down next to me, we didn't speak. We just sipped, letting silence be our voice.

That night, I didn't cry anymore.  I was too exhausted and maybe a little bit relieved too. 

I drifted off reminiscing about the events of the day.