Chapter 2

As I sat down at the table, Maya got up and left an empty seat between us. She looked at me like I was a stranger.

It reminded me of the brutality she had shown me in my previous life when she forced me out with nothing.

I shoved a piece of toast into my mouth and stood up. "I’m fine with just this. I need to get to class, so I'm heading out now."

Daniel said, "Why the rush? You haven't even finished your milk..."

"No time," I said as I grabbed my backpack and fled out the door.

I spent the whole day in the library researching study-abroad programs and filling out applications.

In my previous life, I gave up the chance to study abroad so I could stay by Maya's side. In this life, I wanted to go far away and live for myself.

I had planned to stay in the dorm that night, but Daniel called. "Nolan, come home for dinner! I have something important I wanted to announce!"

Maya opened the door when I got home. When she saw me, she frowned. "Why are you back?"

It was obvious she was not the one who had asked me to come home. I quietly said with my head low, "Daniel said he had something to tell us."

Daniel poked his head out of the kitchen. "You're back!"

He pushed me down onto the couch and put the remote in my hand. "Watch some TV for now. Dinner will be ready soon!"

Meanwhile, Maya was in the kitchen helping him. Through the glass door, I watched Maya listen to Daniel with her head low, a faint smile on her face and her eyes gentle and warm.

She had once cooked for me too.

On my birthday, she canceled her work gathering and came home to cook a full-course meal.

"What are you zoning out for?" Daniel asked when he caught me zoning out and pushed Maya out of the kitchen. "Go keep Nolan company. I can handle the last soup on my own."

Maya wiped her hands and sat in the armchair diagonally across from me. There was plenty of space between us, and silence hung between us. A boring variety show played on the television, the laughter was making things unbearable.

"Nolan," Maya suddenly said.

I looked at her and she looked back at me, her eyes dark. "Study hard. Focus on what's in front of you. Don't think about things you shouldn't."

I could feel my chest tighten.

Things I should not.

To her, my feelings for her were something I should never have allowed myself.

When she found my diary in my previous life, she had said, "Your love disgusts me, Nolan Winehouse."

She thought I had sabotaged their relationship on purpose. She thought I was being greedy and wanted more. It was true that I had loved her, but I had never said anything to Daniel to ruin the relationship between them.

She did not believe me.

"I understand," I heard myself say calmly. "I won't."

At dinner, Daniel could barely contain his excitement as he announced, "Maya proposed to me today!"

He held out his hand, and the engagement ring sparkled under the light.

"Congratulations!" I said with a sincere smile. "Maya, Daniel… I hope you'll be happy together."

Maya paused with her fork in hand and looked up at me. I went back to eating and pretended not to notice.

After dinner, I cleared the dishes without being asked.

Faint laughter drifted in from the living room. Daniel was talking about his ideas for the wedding, and Maya responded quietly, indulging him.

After washing the dishes, I dried my hands and walked toward the living room to tell them I had to go back to campus.

Just as I reached the doorway connected to the living room, I heard Maya say, "Once he graduates, I'll have him move out. I bought him an apartment near his campus. He's a young adult man now. It's not practical for him to keep living with us."

Daniel disagreed. "But it's not safe for Nolan to live alone. Besides, you're siblings. What's wrong with living together?"

Maya's voice stayed flat. "He's all grown up and he should have his own life. We need a life of our own too."

I stayed where I was and stopped listening as I quietly turned around. I went upstairs for my backpack and left.

I waited until I was far from the house before messaging Daniel, [Something came up so I'm headed back to campus. Tell Maya I said good night. Good night to you too.]

I took a deep breath.

Moving out might be for the best. The farther away I was, the safer it would be.

Three days later, while I was doing my research in the library, I remembered something.

In my previous life, Daniel had died of bone cancer. By the time they found out, the cancer was already at a late stage.

Which meant… Daniel might already have cancer now.