Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You

VERA SINCLAIR

It began with a drizzle on my legs, face, and arms while my mind lingered in a sleepy fog. But the tapping continued, bringing me back to consciousness. My eyes opened, groggy and confused, only for my breath to catch at the sight that awaited me.

Water poured in from above, soaking my bed, blankets, and everything else before the roof collapsed with a deafening crash.

A scream tore through my throat as I leaped out of bed at the last second, only to slip and land miserably on my side as gallons of water crashed through the room. My heart raced as I got up, slipping and crashing back down before finally getting to my feet, adrenaline taking over as I stumbled out of the room.

"Noa!" My son's name was the only thing on my mind as I rushed to his room to find him sitting upright in his crib, his small face twisted with confusion.

“We have to get out of here!” My hands trembled as I picked him up, and a familiar voice broke through the rain at that moment.

“Miss! Are you okay?”

“No!” I yelled back, grabbing the nearest blanket and wrapping it around Noa and me. "My bedroom collapsed!" I yelled, unsure what to do as the floodwaters approached. Just then, a loud crack of thunder rumbled overhead, shaking the walls.

Lightning flashed, lighting up the room, and I pressed myself into a corner, a terrified sob ripping through my throat. I had always been terrified of lightning.

"Shh, baby, it's okay," I whispered as Noa cried. Just then, the man's voice rang out again, followed by a loud pounding on the door.

Sprinting to the front door, I waded through the now-flooded hallway, the rain still pouring in. Ripping the door open, the man's eyes widened as he took in the mess.

"The roof," I mumbled. "It just collapsed. There’s water everywhere.” I explained, my voice ringing hollow in my ears, and the man's expression turned grim as he asked for the items I wanted to save.

“You can stay at my place tonight. We’ll figure this out in the morning," he said, and my mind spun, not knowing what to do. My clothing and other belongings were floating in the flood. There was nothing to save.

"Noa's things," I finally said, pointing to his small stash of blankets and clothes that were still dry for the time being, and the man quickly gathered whatever he could while I tried to keep my baby calm.

He threw the bags over his shoulder and grabbed the blankets before turning toward me. “Let’s go. Come on.” He said, and I moved toward the door. But as I opened the door further, a chill ran through my body, not from the rain, but from the voice in my head reminding me I didn't know this man.

It was true. I had only exchanged one greeting with him when Noa and I arrived two days before. Every instinct told me that this was reckless, perhaps even dangerous. But what options did I have? The house was destroyed, and I had nowhere to go.

As if the man could read my mind, he introduced himself as Timothee, and before I could respond, he promised he wouldn't hurt us. So I forced the doubts down and took another step, but I paused again the moment I stepped onto the porch at the scene that greeted me.

Six black SUVs lined up like predators waiting to strike, and then, as if on cue, the doors flew open. A scream ripped through my throat, instinct propelling me forward as I made the fastest turn of my life.

Tim stumbled out behind me, perplexed when he saw me running. He said something. But the sound of car doors slamming shut, followed by boots hitting the ground, drowned out his words. I screamed at him to run, to save himself, as I grabbed him by the arm, pushed him back into the house, and slammed the door shut.

"Who are they? What’s happening?” He yelled, fumbling to push a chair against the door, but I told him there was no time for that, darting toward the window in the back of the house. The window was too high to jump through safely, but it was our only way out. So I wrenched it open just as the deafening bang of the front door being kicked in echoed throughout the house.

The wind and rain beat down on my face, but I couldn't feel or hear anything over my heartbeat pounding against my ears.

“We have to go! Timothee, come on!”

With my arms firmly wrapped around my son, I thrust myself through the small window, my eyes fluttering shut as I fell, bracing for the impact.

We crashed, and a puddle beneath us broke our fall, but it was far from gentle.

Pain erupted from my side, and my head snapped back, disorienting me, but my grip on my son tightened instinctively as I struggled to get up.

"Miss!" Tim's frantic voice echoed above me before the sound of bullets pierced the night, and my body reacted before my mind as I scrambled to my feet, my legs wobbling beneath me while my baby's terrified cries broke through the storm. "Give me the baby!" Tim yelled with extended arms, his face pale and drenched. But I didn't.

"No!" I choked out, stumbling forward. I couldn't let go of him, and a wall appeared out of nowhere. The impact sent me to my knees, a sharp pain shooting toward my hip, but I didn't have time to pay attention to it. So I got up just as Tim grabbed my arm and pulled me up, dragging me forward. “The car! We need to get to the car!” he yelled, but I was not listening. All I could hear was a voice screaming: He found us. He found us. How did he find us?

“Get in! Get in now!” His yell jolted me back, and I immediately jumped into the car.

Noa's wails were deafening, his fingers clutching my shirt as if he understood the danger we were in. Tim rushed in and slammed the door before shoving the keys into the ignition. The engine roared to life, and the tires spun against the wet ground, but eventually took off.

However, soon, headlights pierced the darkness behind us. They were coming!

“Who are these people?!” Tim shouted in a shaking voice as he sped toward the gate. I first apologized for putting him in danger--I had jeopardized their lives by coming here. However, he ignored that, asking once more who the people were.

“The Mafia! My ex! My baby daddy wants me dead!”

“What?!”

I didn’t get the chance to explain as the car lurched violently with a deafening blast that ripped through the night, and the next thing, we were airborne.

I held my son close as the car flipped and whispered, "I'm so sorry." Everything spun up, down, sideways, in a sickening spiral before the startling crash, followed by the smell of burning metal and smoke... and then... nothing.