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Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You
Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You
ผู้แต่ง: Boreas

Chapter 1

ผู้เขียน: Boreas
I'd just been dragged back from the brink of death, but instead of being wheeled into the ICU, I was transferred to a regular hospital room.

Seeing how pale I still was, Jonathan Fowler softened his tone. "Don't worry. I'll get the best doctors to save you, but on one condition. Lottie's career is just taking off right now, and it can't be ruined by this one incident. As long as you're willing to tell everyone it was an accident, I'm willing to let you out of here."

He helped me sit up and brought over a bowl of oats. "The doctor said you're too weak right now and can only handle this. Come on…"

I turned my head away with my eyes lowered. "There's no need to trouble you, Mr. Fowler."

Jonathan's expression instantly darkened, and his voice rose. "It's been three years, and you still can't change how you address me?"

I didn't answer. In truth, before he drove me insane, I used to call him Jon.

When I first arrived in this world, before the system even told me what my mission was, I met him. He treated me incredibly well, making it clear through his actions that I was the love of his life and the wife he'd chosen for eternity.

So, that way of addressing him never changed, even ten years into our marriage. He was the one who changed first.

Jonathan decided I was "too old" and found a woman named Charlotte Stewart, who looked like a younger version of me. The day I saw photos of him out shopping with her, I exploded, demanding to know what he thought he was doing.

What I got in return was his perfectly righteous explanation. "I just really miss how you looked when you were younger. She looks so much like you, but don't worry—nothing has ever happened between her and me. I only love you."

I said nothing and stared at him as I shed tears of grievance.

He stepped forward, pulled me into a tight hug, and soothed me in a gentle voice, "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

And I believed him.

Later, a video of Jonathan and Charlotte kissing blew up online. This time, I held back my anger and forced myself to stay calm as I asked him about it. For the first time, he snapped at me, openly impatient.

"It was a scene. A kissing scene is a totally normal part of the script! What are you jealous about now? Can't you stop throwing these tantrums?"

I stared at him in disbelief. He wasn't even Charlotte's male lead, so what exactly was he helping her with?

I spoke softly, "Let's get a divorce."

He refused.

I couldn't stand the sight of him, so I packed a suitcase, wanting to go away to clear my head.

Jonathan thought I was trying to run. He had me dragged back overnight from out of town and essentially put me under house arrest.

When he snapped a handcuff around one of my wrists, I swung my free hand and slapped him hard across the face. "You're insane!"

He didn't even get angry. He just wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and said, "I told you you're the only one I love. So don't even think about leaving me.

"You're just jealous because I've been spending too much time with Charlotte, right? Fine, then. I'll keep you by my side and spend every day with you. What more do you want?"

I looked at him, thinking he really had lost his mind.

I refused to accept this. One day, when Jonathan went on a business trip, I took my chance and climbed out the window to escape. But as I limped into the airport, I saw him standing at the boarding gate.

In that instant, my blood ran cold.

He called over his bodyguards, who seized me. He said, "You must be sick in the head to keep trying to leave me like this. You love me with all your heart, don't you?"

Jonathan had me locked up in a psychiatric hospital. He told me to reflect on myself and stop being jealous and acting crazy.

In that place, I was shocked with electricity, beaten with clubs, and pumped full of drugs until there was barely any life left in me.

At last, when I was hanging on by a thread and Jonathan was asking if I could finally behave, the system appeared with a notification. [Congratulations. Mission triggered: Max out the male lead, Jonathan Fowler's guilt. Current guilt: 80%.]

I was stunned. I tried to struggle up from the bed, but the nurse by my side thought I was trying to run again and immediately sedated me. I collapsed back onto the mattress, unable to say a single word.

[Current guilt: 83%.]

I lifted my gaze and caught a flicker of reluctance and pain in Jonathan's eyes.

So that was it. The more miserable I was, the guiltier he felt. If that was all it took to get me out of here and back home, then I would play along.

But after that, the guilt stopped rising. I had to wait three years before Charlotte finally showed up in person. The first time she came to see me, she brought a grand gift. I was already half-dead, and she pushed me down a flight of stairs.

I was on the verge of death, my whole body feeling like it was being blown apart from the inside. But when I saw the guilt meter over Jonathan's head finally hit 100%, I smiled in pure relief.

Perfect. I could finally go home.

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  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 10

    Charlotte ended the call and sat down beside my tombstone, leaning against Jonathan's shoulder. The wind blew past, carrying a faint scent of gardenias.She closed her eyes, and tears slid down her cheeks. "I don't want to live anymore, either. You're the one who turned me from a rookie actress nobody knew into the A-lister that I am now. I decided a long time ago that I was yours, so why wouldn't you even look at me?"When the police arrived, Charlotte didn't struggle. She quietly held out her hands. The moment the cuffs closed around her wrists, she turned back for one last look.…I looked at the photo of myself on my tombstone, taking in my bright smile.Jonathan's hand was still resting on the picture. The wind lifted the hem of his coat. For a second, it felt like the first time in his life that he'd ever held me.I stood above the clouds, watching it all from a distance.The system's cold, mechanical voice rang out in my ears. [The passage has opened. Would you like to re

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 9

    The gates remained shut. Charlotte kneeled there the entire night.The next morning, the gate finally opened. Bretman was the one who came out. He stood on the steps, his face blank as he looked down at Charlotte, who was disheveled and miserable."Mr. Fowler asked me to pass on a message," he said.Charlotte lifted her head, her eyes swollen from her crying. "What did he say?""He said, 'You're not even worthy of worshiping at her feet.'"The gates swung shut again, leaving Charlotte frozen to the spot. Then, she laughed. As she laughed, tears began to fall."I'm not worthy?" She pushed herself to her feet and staggered a little. "Mallory is the one who isn't worthy. Even in death, she still has to steal you from me. Even after everything I've done, I'm getting nothing."She stumbled back the way she came, mumbling the same words over and over. "I can't accept this… I can't…"…Three days later, Jonathan made arrangements for my funeral. He personally chose a plot of land for

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 8

    After Charlotte left, Jonathan kept vigil upstairs for three days and three nights. He didn't eat or drink throughout that time. He just sat by the bed, holding my hand, which had long gone cold.On the fourth day, Bretman pushed the bedroom door open and stopped at the doorway, looking hesitant. "Mr. Fowler."Jonathan didn't look back.Bretman tightened his grip on the envelope in his hand and took a deep breath. "Mr. Fowler, I've recently found out some things."He walked forward and set the envelope on the nightstand. "Three years ago, the photo that Mrs. Fowler saw of you and Charlotte shopping together was staged by Charlotte. She hired someone to take it and anonymously mail it to Mrs. Fowler. "And that video of you two kissing on set—she paid to have it pushed onto the trending page."Jonathan's back went rigid.Bretman's voice grew heavier. "After Mrs. Fowler was locked up in the psychiatric hospital, Charlotte kept trying every possible way to find out where she was. F

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 7

    Charlotte heard the news on the third day. She'd just been discharged from the hospital when, in reality, she hadn't fainted at all. It was all an act.Her assistant handed her the phone, looking uneasy. "Charlotte, Mallory Silva is dead."Charlotte was touching up her makeup. Her hand paused. "What did you say?""Jonathan Fowler's wife, Mallory Silva, killed herself in the hospital. The news is everywhere."Charlotte froze for two seconds. Then, she couldn't stop the corners of her lips from curling up. She quickly ducked her head and pretended to wipe away tears."Oh, my God, that's so tragic… Why did she do something so extreme?" she murmured.She lifted her head and squinted hard, working her eyes until they turned slightly red. "I need to go to Jon right away. He must be devastated."She practically ran out of the hospital.Once Charlotte got in the car, she used the rearview mirror to practice her expressions. She needed to pinch her brows a little and press her lips toge

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 6

    Downstairs, the reporters' cameras flashed all night. When Jonathan walked out of the hospital with my corpse in his arms, everyone went crazy."Mr. Fowler, is it true that Ms. Silva is dead?""Was it suicide or murder?""Do you have anything you want to say?"Jonathan didn't answer. He just lowered his head to look at me, his voice so gentle that it was almost unreal. "Mallory, let's go home. Didn't you say the garden needed work? I'll help you fix it up tomorrow. What do you want to plant? Roses? Or the gardenias you used to love?"The reporters all stared at one another. Someone was live-streaming, and the comments went nuts."Is he talking to a dead person?""No way. Did Jonathan lose his mind or something?""This is heartbreaking… but where was he when she was alive?""Serves him right."Jonathan pushed through the crowd while holding me, Bretman doing everything he could to block the reporters.The car was already waiting at the curb. Jonathan lifted me into the backse

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 5

    The moment the tip of the knife went in, I heard the system's cold, robotic notification.[You have died. The 50-million-dollar reward has been wired to your bank account.]In my last moment of consciousness, all I saw was Jonathan's face instantly turning ashen. His eyes widened in disbelief as he shouted, "Mallory!"He lunged forward and caught my collapsing body. Blood gushed from my chest, soaking through his coat. His hand pressed hard over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, but it did nothing. The blood just kept seeping out between his fingers."Are you out of your mind?" he roared. For the first time, there was real fear in his voice.I looked at him, my lips moving, but no sound came out.This was nice. I finally didn't have to pretend anymore.I watched my soul float out of my body and stand above everyone.[Detaching from this world will take some time. Please be patient.]Down below, the hospital corridor descended into chaos. Those young women screamed and st

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 4

    After a long time, Jonathan's assistant, Bretman Reeves, came to take me back to the psychiatric hospital.The moment they locked me back in the room, my phone buzzed. I picked it up with difficulty and saw that the trending feed had exploded.There were articles titled, "Mallory Silva Goes Crazy

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 3

    I was taken aback, and so were the reporters.Charlotte yanked up her sleeve, revealing a large patch of purple bruises on her arm. "I know you love Jon, and you hate that I'm always around him. But I never once thought about stealing him from you. Why do you have to push me this far? Why do you wa

  • Saving Every Ounce of Guilt to Leave You   Chapter 2

    When Jonathan saw the smile playing on my lips, he gritted his teeth and snarled, "Is it that hard for you to just stay by my side? And is it that hard for you to tolerate Charlotte? No matter how wild she and I get, you'll still always be my wife."I turned my head away. "I had to go through all o

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