Episode 9

Taylor’s Pov

“What the fuck did I do?’’ I hear the sound of my father's voice as soon as I enter the room. He seems to be conversing with himself. Something he hardly ever does unless he is having a nightmare about the day my sister died. Today however, he's standing in front of the mirror in our living room, reprimanding himself or something.

“What did I fucking do? I should have told them that…’’

Suddenly, his head flips in my direction and the color of his eyes direct to darker ones. His wolf is almost emerging and I haven't seen my father in this state of anger before.

“You little bitch, I told you countless times to mask your scent. I told you to be careful and no one should know who you are or where you live.’’ he clenches his fists as he approaches me. I can see the hatred in his eyes. His emotions are much different from his normal ones. He is looking at me like he could tear me apart any moment now. It scares me. My father is capable of doing anything cruel and inhuman.

“But I.. Dad…’’

“Don't call me that, you mistake of a daughter! I regret being your father. You have proven to me countless times that you are a stupid bitch and you can't follow simple instructions. Tell me, Taylor, what were you thinking when you gave those young men your address? Huh?!’’

His words only confuse me. Fear creeps up my features. 

“I did not disobey you, father.. I have not given anyone my address. I just..’’

The palm of his hand collided with my face immediately. It sends me to the floor, shaking in pain as I bring my fingers over my cheek. There is that ringing sound in my head once more. The same sound that has always been there whenever my father hit me. I was so used to his beatings.

“What are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to draw them to me? Are you trying to play God here?!’’

“I did not. I don't know. I never…’’  

"You thwart!" 

Another slap lands on my face before I can say anything more. He bends down and his fingers circle around my throat. He pulls me up, forcing me to look at him as his fist connects with the side of my face. The pain was unbearable. I felt like I had almost been knocked out of consciousness. My body falling on the floor doesn't give him the satisfaction that he needed. He brings his hands towards my blouse and he pulls me up. I hold on for my dear life, tears cascading down my cheeks as I try to beg.

“You will tell me the truth or else you are going to face it.” 

The stench of liquor escapes his mouth. But he's not acting like a drunk person. He's behaving like a completely sober person. Anger is his only Direction. All I can do is wonder what he was really talking about.

“WHO ARE THEY?!’’ 

He shouts. Any attempt I make at opening my mouth to say something is met with another slap. What was I even going to say in the first place? I didn't have an answer to his questions. If I tried to lie to him, he would see through it.

“You think you are smart? Is that it?’’ his fingers dive into my hair and he uses it to drag me across the room. I can't help but scream in pain. My knees collided with the floor as I put up a struggle against his hand.

“Father please. I didn't do anything.’’

“That is not for you to decide. You're trying to play smart with me and you're forgetting how old I am. I am your father, god damn it!’’ his grip in my hair tightened as he dragged me across the floor.

“I respect you father, but I haven't done anything. I swear to you, I did not…’’

“Quit your useless whinings!’’

Those tears continued to flow from my eyes. I cannot stop myself from crying and neither can I stop the shaking of my body. I'm scared. more scared than I have ever been. Something was different about my father today. He wasn't hitting me around with hatred but with frustration. like he was tired of me.

“You’re going to learn today that your life is in my hands!’’ 

I have no idea what he means by that but it causes a shiver to run down my spine. Everything he said always had other meanings, especially when he was angry. I never listened to the words he said when he was drunk because even though they were true, he hardly ever saw them whenever he was sober. Right now, however, I believe that his words have a meaning behind them, and meaning that he was ready to uphold.

Suddenly he stops in front of the large bucket of water that rested at the corner of the kitchen. I only have a second to look up at him begging with my eyes. But he pushes my head right below. And my face is met with the water, tapping against the floor and trying to come back for air. He pushes my head in.

 Any attempt that I make against him is fruitless. I find myself letting the water in. but he pulled me back up immediately. The water splashes onto the floor and towards my face as I try to breathe in.

“Who are those men? Did you send an Alpha here?’’ His words are full of fear. I've never seen my father afraid of anything.

“Father, I do not know…’’

My head is pushed back into the bucket again. I tried to fight against him but he overpowered me. I am immersed into the water like I weigh nothing. I hit the wooden floors several times. I keep my mouth shut. Feelling as the water runs into my nose and even through my head. There is a certain pain at the bottom of my stomach. I try my best to not let in the water but the lack of air gets the best of me.

I'm pulled out of the bucket again, but then pushed back in seconds later. Father does not hesitate. I can feel myself at the brink of death. 

For some reason, I feel that this would be the best escape to finally disappearing from this wretched world and everything it has to offer. Would it not be better to go somewhere where I can't feel anything at all? 

Will it not be better to just die? 

So that the pain can finally disappear. So that I have nothing to worry about. I want to meet my mother. To tell her how sorry I am that my father killed her because of me. I want to hug my sister. And remind her that she is not at fault for the things that father did to both mother and I.  

I intentionally opened my mouth and let the water in. I don't struggle. I do not try to come back up. Even when the pressure on top of my head slowly decreases, all I want to do is forget about the pain and embrace the beauty of death. Where I was going is much better than where I am right now. I can feel that my father's hands are no longer in my hair. He is not holding me back but I lack the strength to pull myself out. I can feel the water entering my system. Into my mouth, into my nose, and even inside my ears. 

Slowly by slowly I feel myself losing consciousness, and part of myself is drifting away already. My wolf isn't in my head. And I'm glad that she didn't hang around to torment me about the decision I have made. Letting go is much easier than holding on now.

 The last image in my mind is that of my mate. He looks like a beautiful promise given to me by the moon goddess. Have I not learnt enough to know that the moon goddess never favors wolves like me? There is nothing but disaster ahead.

 Dying is the best paradise.

“Taylor!’’ That sound is only an echo in my mind. My head is pulled out of the bucket. The water in my system is still there. I can hear someone calling me at a distance, but I can only assume this is what death feels like. Like I was losing a touch of reality. Is it supposed to feel this painful.. this scary.. and uncomfortable? Death should be peaceful, right? 

Like going to paradise.

A pair of warm lips are on my mouth. Slowly by slowly, I feel my eyes opening. 

Consciousness…, I want to fight it, but there is nothing I can do. 

“Taylor! Taylor please… You cannot die! Fuck!’’ That's his voice. It's Ryan's. 

Suddenly my wolf is awake inside me. There is a different feeling in me. Like a warm light. 

My eyes open fully, and the man staring down at me is the man of my dreams. My mate, Ryan. 

He saved me!