Five Years Ago-Age NineteenI curled up in a ball on my bed, wishing Dee didn't have a night class this evening. I badly needed a girl around. I didn't know if it was normal to discuss these things with a mother, since I'd never had one, but girls did discuss sex with their girlfriends, right? I was just glad Daddy didn't have a treatment today and had turned in early.How stupid of me to have romanticized the idea of sex. There wasn't a damn thing romantic about it. I had just decided at a party tonight to go ahead and get it over with. With some guy from my English Lit class. I was sick of the virgin moniker hanging over me and the opportunity arose. Everyone else had sex long before they were in their second year of college.The guy, Jason, had a lot more to drink than me, but neither of us were drunk. I'd heard the first time wasn't always good, but it had been terrible. He hadn't done much by way of foreplay, and the burning had been awful. Not wanting him to know it was my fir
IanOut of the corner of my eye, I caught Matt walking across the beach toward his house, back rigid and his stride long. She'd sent him away? She'd...ended it with him? My pulse beat thready, building an erratic rhythm.All day I'd been kicking myself, trapped in a wretched state of pissed off and hurt. She'd bailed on me this morning, had gone right to Matt, and nothing had wreaked agony quite like her rejection. A two hour ride on Dad's Harley hadn't cut through the pain. Our confrontation in the driveway only added to the mix. It was as if she'd been...amputated from my life.But Matt was leaving.I glanced at Rick, who had seen it, too. Rick nodded, his gaze understanding. "Ian, go check on Summer, will you? I don't think she's feeling well. I'll take Jenny home."Fireworks exploded over us, sending shocks of light across the water. The start of the finale boomed, matching my heartbeat. Leaving my friends on the sand, I jogged to the house and ran up the stairs, into our bedr
SummerIan's mama came out to join me on the porch swing after supper and handed me a glass of sweet tea. I took it as she sat next to me, setting the swing in motion. I traced the condensation on the glass with my finger and stared at the yard. The air was humid and sticky, but now that the sun had set, it was comfortable. A slight breeze wafted off the water on the other side of the house, scented with brine. Crickets chirped in the long grass and the rustle of palm leaves crackled. Perfection.Ruth looked at me over the lip of her glass as she drank. "So, you and Ian, eh?"I offered a short, breathy laugh, still a little shocked myself. His parents had arrived late this morning. After they'd gotten settled and we'd sat down for lunch, Ian had flagged their attention, said he had something to tell them, and kissed me in front of everyone. Ian never did anything half-assed, that's for sure. Dee had clapped, Rick had shaken his head with a grin, and Ian's folks had spent the rest of
Seven Years Ago-Age Twenty-OneMost people on their twenty-first birthday go out drinking with co-workers and friends. They get drunk and rowdy and loud, enjoying the milestone in their life. It's probably, of all the birthdays in life, the one remembered with the most fondness.But I hadn't done that today for my birthday. Instead, I'd stayed home with Daddy, who needed someone with him nearly every minute now-a-days. I looked across the living room at him sleeping in the recliner. His frail frame was huddled under a massive amount of blankets, because no matter what I did, he was always cold. He barely ate due to the chemo making everything taste bad and upsetting his stomach. He didn't even look like my Daddy anymore. And today, he'd made the decision to stop treatment. According to him, it was delaying the inevitable.I brought my knees to my chest and burrowed deeper into the couch. Earlier, after attempting to spoon-feed him some chicken broth, I tried to get him to lie down i
Summer"Will you sit down, please?" Dee waved an impatient hand at me. We were holed up together in the small bathroom upstairs, staring at the pregnancy test. I fidgeted, wringing my hands, pacing, making Dee more nervous. I couldn't help it. "Sorry." I sat on the edge of the tub. "You should be doing this with Rick." "No, I should be right here with you, so we can tell them after if I'm-" She let the statement hang for a moment. "How much longer?""Thirty seconds." I closed my eyes tight, blew out a breath.The week had gone by so quickly, like it usually did when we were here. An emotional roller coaster, but quick. Tomorrow, we'd be heading home. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen with Ian and I when we got back to Wylie. Would the dynamic change? We'd been in our own world here, but returning home was a slap of reality.And wow. Dee pregnant? It would be wonderful to be an auntie. A pang of jealousy and longing filled me. I wanted us to raise our children togeth
SummerJerking his shirt over his head, I wet my lips as I took him in. Sun-kissed skin, light dusting of hair, ropey muscle shifting. A flex of his bicep and my gaze dropped to where his hands were unfastening his shorts. Through hooded eyes, he watched me as he dropped everything and kicked the garments away. Blood roared through my veins. He had a slight happy trail of hair that descended toward a thick erection. The crown brushed his naval as he wrapped his fingers around the girth and stroked. Mesmerized, my fingers twitched, and then he stepped forward, strong, hard thighs bulging.He nodded, indicating I should strip the rest of the way. Wasting no time, I shucked my shorts and panties. His heated gaze raked over me, and suddenly I was unsure. We'd been together before, but that had been on vacation. This time, we were at home and it felt more...real. A choice rather than a heated whim. With his slow exploration, his nostrils flared, and I wondered about the other women he'd b
SummerI had barely finished my laundry from our trip to Seasmoke when I sat down at the desk in my bedroom. Unfortunately, I'd been sitting here for two hours now, staring at my mother's address, the scrap of paper in one hand and an invitation to my art benefit in the other.I had questions for Sharon. Like why had she come back only to leave again? Or how was it a mother could abandon her child? What happened to keep her away? Why had Daddy lied?To be comfortable enough in my decision to officially end things with Matt and go for it with Ian required me to look into my past, possibly explain some things and get answers. Maybe it would help me understand myself, why I was the way I was. The past had shaped me into who I am, good and bad, and I guess I just didn't trust I could be happy.Or, really, that I deserved it.I couldn't keep doing this to myself. Dee had been right to confront me. It was the kick I'd needed. An image of Matt standing in my driveway holding a bouquet
Present-Summer"I still say you should have Ian here with you for this, not me." Rick shoved his hands into his pockets. I gave him a baleful look. "You're the accountant.""He's the business owner, and you're avoiding him."Yeah, well, couldn't deny that one. I couldn't shake all the doubts in my head. We had such a good thing going. I'd cook dinner at his place, we'd have eyes-rolling-back-in-my-head, I-can't-move sex afterward. We laughed. We talked. We acted like a normal couple. But the past couple days, I'd made excuses about needing to paint in order to avoid him. The painting part was true, not that I'd gotten any work done. I just...I just couldn't lose him. And I somehow knew I would. The kind of happy he made me never lasted.I was trying, though. So hard, I was trying. For him. Ian had been right in what he'd said at Seasmoke. I couldn't trust myself to be happy. And the only time in my life I could remember ever being that way was with him. Our childhood, our teen