LOGINFive Years Later
“AL, DON’T PULL MY HAIR! I’M A PRINCESS!”
“Ugly princess.”
Something heavy slammed into my waist.
Something smaller landed on my stomach.
I opened one eye just as Gabriella climbed higher onto the bed and attempted to use my body as a ladder so she could launch herself at her brother.
“Dear God,” I muttered into my pillow. “Why did I get two? One would have been enough to test my faith.”
“Mommy!! He said I’m an ugly princess,” Gabby complained directly into my ear, her voice far too loud for seven in the morning.
Her curly black hair looked like it had just lost a war, her pink crown-print pajamas were wrinkled, and her big gray eyes were already filled with a level of outrage wildly disproportionate for someone who still had strawberry jam on her cheek.
Alvaro sat comfortably on my thigh like my leg bones weren’t casualties waiting for an ambulance. His dinosaur pajamas were on backward. His black hair stuck up in every possible direction. His blue eyes watched Gabby with the calm of a tiny criminal who knew he’d just started a fire.
“Because she is ugly princess,” he said. “Like frog. But with tiara.”
“I’M NOT A FROG!” Gabby immediately grabbed a fistful of his hair.
“AWWW—MAMI!” Al yelled, laughing at the same time. “G BITING!”
I closed my eyes again.
Gabby flopped half her body across my shoulder. Al used the opportunity to yank the pillow out from under my head.
“Stop,” I said, my voice still rough.
The digital clock on the nightstand read 7:14.
Outside the window, Washington was doing its usual morning thing: not quite raining. Gray sky hung low over the pine trees. Water droplets clung to the tall guest-room windows, and Papá’s backyard looked like an expensive real-estate ad that had lost all its saturation.
A place that was... fitting and desperate for a vacation. But anyway, I like Twilight, so fair enough.
Four nights. That was it.
Me, Al, Gabby, and three suitcases with more toys in them than clothes. Papá had already booked our tickets back to San Francisco for Friday, and I planned to use the last three days to sleep more than five hours, eat food I didn’t make myself, and let my kids bother someone other than me.
A perfectly reasonable plan.
But, they had decided to start the day with a light attempted murder.
“Mami,” Gabby said again, this time poking my cheek. “I’m pretty, right?”
I opened my eyes and looked at her. Round cheeks. Wild hair. Gray eyes that looked far too much like someone I had spent five years trying not to think about first thing in the morning.
“You’re very pretty,” I said, giving her bottom a gentle pat. “You’re pretty. He’s annoying. The world is balanced.”
“HEY,” Al protested.
I looked at him.
Those blue eyes stared right back at me with an expression far too innocent for a child who had just called his sister a frog in a tiara.
If AL had been born in a gray suit, black tie, and the ability to intimidate grown adults without changing his expression, he would have been a national problem. Luckily, he was only four and still terrified of the vacuum cleaner.
“Why did you call your sister an ugly princess?” I asked.
Alvaro gave a shrug. “Because she crying all the time. She is drama llama.”
“I’M NOT A LLAMA!” Gabby immediately started crying for real.
The bedroom door opened without a knock.
“Oye,” a male voice with a very obvious Bogotá accent entered first. “Why is this house already a telenovela before I’ve even had breakfast?”
Xavier stood in the doorway wearing a wrinkled black T-shirt and gray sweatpants. His hair was tied carelessly back, and he looked like someone who had slept too little but was still handsome enough to make every woman at a Seattle donor gala wonder whether he was single.
He is my twin. Sadly, he had been born with a level of patience that had somehow failed to pass down to me.
The second they saw him, my two little traitors jumped off the bed. “TÍO X!”
Al ran first. Gabby followed, still trying to grab the back of her brother’s dinosaur pajamas.
“Tío,” Gabby complained, her voice turning sweet in less than a second. “Al said I’m an ugly princess.”
Xavier crouched down and opened his arms.
Two little bodies crashed into him at once.
“Ay, Dios,” he said with a laugh as Al wrapped himself around his neck and Gabby climbed onto his waist. “A civil war before breakfast?”
“She bite me,” Al reported seriously, raising his arm to show a faint bite mark that probably hadn’t even existed five minutes ago.
Gabby huffed. “You deserve it. You call me ugly princess.”
“I said frog princess,” Al corrected. “Different.”
Gabby growled.
“Okay. Enough. You two come downstairs with Tío. Your mother needs five minutes to become human again.”
“I want hot chocolate,” Al said.
“I want pancakes with sprinkles and whipped cream and chocolate and strawberry and marshmallows and—”
“And insulin,” I cut in. “You get regular pancakes.”
Gabby glared at me. “You don’t love me.”
“True,” I said. “I’m raising you purely so I can watch you be disappointed.”
“You are mean,” she muttered.
“I know.”
Xavier chuckled. “You’re really proud of being the villain in their lives, aren’t you?”
“I’m necessary for their character development.”
“Come on, drama queen,” Xavier said, heading toward the door. “Come on, dinosaur. Breakfast.”
“HE IS A DONKEY!” Gabby yelled before the door closed.
“You’re a bigger donkey!” Al shot back without hesitation.
Then they were gone.
The sound of little feet, protests, and Xavier’s laughter faded down the long hallway of Papá’s house.
I dropped back onto my pillow.
Three suitcases still sat open on the chair by the window. My kid’s clothes, sweaters, leggings, tiny shoes, one Barbie head without a body that had somehow made it onto the flight from San Francisco, and Al’s plastic dinosaur collection, which outnumbered my emotional bandwidth.
I got up, walked into the bathroom, and looked at my reflection in the mirror.
I looked older than the twenty-five-year-old woman who had once stood in a Lake Como kitchen wearing an oversized Columbia T-shirt and threatening to poison her husband’s espresso.
My cheekbones were a little sharper now. My black hair had layers, mostly so it didn’t feel like a construction project every time I had to throw it into a rushed ponytail. The circles under my eyes had improved significantly since I discovered retinol and stopped believing three hours of sleep was a form of ambition.
My blue eyes were still the same.
So was my mouth.
Still too quick to say things I should probably think through first.
Five years ago, I left Lake Como with one suitcase, two positive pregnancy tests, and a sense of self-respect I had to rebuild piece by piece.
I went home to Bogotá first.
My mother cried.
My little sister hugged me too tightly.
Abuelo just sat in the living room with a face carved from stone, looking at my stomach before it had even started to show and deciding silence was the most elegant form of punishment.
Now I had two children who treated other people’s homes like wrestling arenas.
Maybe that was progress.
Or maybe karma just had a very expensive sense of humor.
“Exactly.” Tara turned to me immediately. “Which is why you cannot treat the way he looked at the kids earlier like ordinary curiosity.”I lifted the glass of warm water to my lips. It was almost cold now, but I drank anyway because my hands needed something to do that didn’t involve strangling my best friend.“He watched two little kids walk into a private villa while one of them smelled like vomit,” I said. “Of course he looked.”“Not like that.”“Oh, sorry. I forgot Tara Montoya has a minor degree in the male gaze now.”“I have a lot of experience.”“With three Alexanders.”“Two Alexanders. One Alexandre.”“A mistake is still a mistake, even with a French accent.”Arsen lifted his glass slightly. “I agree with Arabella on this one.”Tara shot him a sharp look, then turned back to me. “He watched Al for too long.”“Al was crying.”“He watched Gabby too.”“Gabby was wearing a glitter crown and interrogating him about an iPad. She’s hard not to watch.”“You know what I mean.”I did.T
Night made my house look like a place where normal people lived again.That was a lie, obviously.A house with two four-year-olds was never truly normal. It just stopped screaming long enough for the adults to start believing they were still in control.It was almost eleven when I stepped onto the back terrace carrying a thick blanket and a glass of warm water. Kendra had gone to bed half an hour earlier after making sure Gabby’s night-light was pink, not blue, because according to Gabby, blue was “too sad for princess.” Al was asleep with the whale shark covering half his face and one leg sticking out from under the blanket, as if a few hours ago he hadn’t nearly exposed a family secret in front of his biological father while smelling like vomit and pastry.The ocean stretched out in front of the house, black except for white lines of surf that appeared for a second and disappeared again. The San Francisco night air was still cold, even with the glass wall sheltering the left side of
Rafael’s driver was named Marco. He wore a black suit, driving gloves that were wildly unnecessary in Los Angeles, and only spoke long enough to confirm the restaurant address. After that, he stayed quiet, which immediately made him the best human being employed by the Ricciardi family.The car started down the hill.I took off my sunglasses, then put them back on because without them the world was too bright.My phone buzzed.Tara: We’re at Gino’s. Private room in the back.A second message came in.Tara: Al is fine. Ate half a garlic knot. Wants pizza.Then a third.Arsen: We have seventeen questions and one nervous breakdown scheduled.I typed back.Me: Cancel both. Not in public.Arsen: Fascism.Me: Correct.Tara: He said their faces looked familiar, didn’t he?I stared at the screen.Damn them.I didn’t answer.Another message appeared.Tara: Ara.I locked my phone and dropped it into my bag.The pizza restaurant sat on a small street near West Hollywood, the kind of place that l
I raised one eyebrow. “Is that the polite way of saying they’re annoying?”“I haven’t known them long enough to decide.”I said nothing.Rafael looked toward the driveway where they had disappeared. The bougainvillea shifted softly in the breeze, as if it hadn’t just swallowed two four-year-olds who had nearly dismantled my entire life in front of their biological father.“Alvaro didn’t look well,” he said.“He ate three pain au chocolat before getting on a small plane.”The corner of his mouth moved slightly. Not quite a smile. Rafael was still too arrogant to give away a full expression for free.“Will he be okay?” he asked.The question sounded ordinary. Polite, even.I still didn’t like the way he kept looking toward the gate.“He once licked a shopping-cart handle at Target and survived,” I said. “His immune system was built through negligence.”Rafael finally looked back at me. “You let your child lick a shopping cart?”“I said he did it. Not that I hosted an event and sold tick
Rafael blinked. “No,” he said. “Not with me.”“Hmm.” Gabby folded her little arms across her chest. “Then I call you Rafa Lemon.”There was a pause.I waited for Rafael to take offense, or go cold. Or give her the look that used to make junior analysts in Milan consider a career in tomato farming.Instead, he slipped his sunglasses into his shirt pocket and crouched down until he was closer to Gabby’s eye level.Something shifted in my chest, like a chair being dragged across an empty room.Gentleness had never come easily to him. Not even before. Even when he touched me at his softest, there had always been control in it. Always something held back.But now he was standing in front of my daughter—his daughter, damn it, don’t think about that—and there was no coldness in his face. Only focus. Calm. It was strange watching a man who didn’t remember ever being a father stand inches from his own kid and somehow still not frighten her.“Rafa Lemon,” he repeated.Gabby nodded. “Better.”“Y
“Are they part of your team?” he asked.I opened my mouth.Nothing came out, because God was clearly lounging on a balcony in heaven eating popcorn.Tara and Arsen stared at Rafael. It was the look of two people who had once watched that man stand at their best friend’s wedding in an Italian suit, with a cold face and an aura that said I will destroy your life through legally binding paperwork. A look carrying far too much history for an eleven a.m. site visit.Tara’s sunglasses froze halfway to her face.Arsen’s mouth fell open. This was a man whose father had once screamed at him for buying a Maybach with his own credit card, and he had still managed to say, “At least it was black.” But now he was gaping at Rafael like he had just seen a ghost.Fuck.I moved fast.So fast my heels nearly betrayed feminism.“Tara,” I said sweetly—far too sweetly—as I walked over and immediately grabbed both her shoulders. “Your hair is a mess.”“What—”“Shut up,” I whispered, pretending to fix the ha
I woke up because the sun slapped me in the face. White-gold light speared through the thin curtains, landing directly on my eyelids that had never volunteered to become solar panels. I blinked slowly, trying to gather the pieces of my soul scattered across the sheets.The clock on the nightstand r
“Wow,” I said at last, closing the door behind me with a soft click. “I thought you were still busy having a reunion with your ex.”His gaze dropped for a second, traveling down my body. From the thin heels, to my bare legs, to where the dress cinched at my waist, to the neckline that was bold enou
Seven p.m., and Lake Como looked like an expensive postcard that had been photographed to death. Deep blue, almost black. Villa lights scattered messily across the water. A thin veil of fog hovering low, like a cheap Instagram filter no one bothered to turn off.From the study window facing the lak
The small pan hissed softly as the oil heated, the sharp scent of roughly crushed garlic already filling the kitchen before I realized I was humming. Fuck.A Shakira song.Wildly off-brand for this morning’s mood, which had gone to hell at five twelve a.m. sharp, when Arsen, the technological basta







