Five: KAYDEN

Sandra and Ethan are kissing and giggling, obviously lost in their own world. I avert my eyes from them and stare out at the distant figure of the woman I love, watching as the wind whips through her long hair and her strapless floral dress.

God she is beautiful. She is just so beautiful.

My heart tugs with guilt. I know something was wrong immediately she said she wanted to go see the beach. I mean nothing is wrong with her wanting to see the beach. It is just that, the way she said it feels like something is bothering her, and I am kind of feeling bad that I am still seated here while she is over there, thinking about only God-knows-what.

"Hey guys, uhm, I will be right back." I announce to the kissing duo, standing up from my chair.

They just hum in response, quite busy with their lips and hands on each other. God, help me. I feel so oppressed by them.

I grab my phone and a bottle of water from the table before I leave.

The air smells more fresh and feels more moist to the skin as I walk closer to the beach. The blue ocean spans right over the horizon, looking like it is touching the tip of the clear afternoon sky. This might sound funny, and I do not know if it is because of the beach, but the weather is surprisingly cool despite the fact that it is already afternoon and that the sun is shining.

Anyway, I reach Lisa and stand just a couple steps away from her, still trying to drink in her white milky skin and how her hair just waves over it. I can tell she is standing with her arms crossed, because I can see the tips of her elbows shooting out. I stretch forth my hand to touch her shoulder, but as if on cue, she turns around and smiles.

"Caught you! When will you stop being in the habit of sneaking up on me Kayden?" She jokes, still smiling.

"Well, uh, guess I kind of like sneaking up on you."

She smiles again, but the sweet expression doesn't reach her eyes. For a spilt second, we are staring at each other, and the next, she is looking away from me.

"Are you alright?" I ask, feeling worried.

"Yeah, uhm. . . . .I am fine."

She is lying.

"Hey Lisa. Remember you are talking to Kayden Jacobs, the only guy on planet earth who can read you like a book. Now, I do not mean that literally, but I know you are lying, and that something is definitely wrong with you."

God knows I tried to keep my voice as funny as I could. It takes a moment, but I see Lisa smile again.

She shrugs. "Well, I agree with you Kayden. Something is definitely wrong with me, but I don't think you can help me."

"Why?" I ask, feeling sober all of a sudden.

She stares at me for a long time. A very long time. And I find myself asking myself why.

Her eyes move down to my lips. I gulp in a breath, swallowing hard and feeling like I just got punched in the stomach.

The silence between us is choking me. Killing me. I just want to close the distance between us and crash my lips to hers.

But wait Kayden. This is her birthday. Maybe this is not the perfect time to go all rogue about your feelings.

"Kayden."

I blink my eyes at Lisa's voice, the only voice capable in the world and strong enough to echo in my head and bring me back to reality.

She takes my hand into hers, and I gulp when she rubs her thumb slightly over it.

"Kayden, I just want to say thank you for the necklace. For the surprise. For letting me crash at your place. I really appreciate everything you have done for me these past few days, and I just really want to say thank you."

She is talking, and I can hear her. But I just love to watch her lips move as she talks. Maybe it is because I love watching her lips as she talks right now, but I can't deny the fact that I also desperately want to kiss them. I have been wanting to kiss those full lips since my eyes landed on them the first day I stepped into Literature class in college. They were the first lips that smiled at me. They were the first lips that stopped my time. They were the first lips that offered me a seat to sit on when I just stood in front of the burstling class like a deer caught in the headlights.

Or should I say like the guy who just got his heart pierced with a cupid's arrow.

I am snapped out of my trance when I feel a warm pair of arms wrap around my back, but I do not need to look down to know who that is. Her vanilla scent gives her away, and I am reminded once again how I desperately want someone I may never possibly have.

She is your bestfriend Kayden. Please do not blow it.

I wrap my arms around her in a hug, completing our embrace. I hope she does not hear how hard my heart is banging against my chest. I hope she does not look up to me to ask me why my heart is beating so fast, because if she does, I do not know what I will tell her.

I really will not know what to say.

I place my lips lightly on the center of her head and kiss her there. I know she won't feel it, just like how she may never feel or know how much I love her.

After what seems like an eternal unending sweet but torturing moment of bliss, Lisa pulls away from me and tucks her hair behind her ears.

"Uhm, Kayden, could you please excuse me? I just want to get myself some tequila from the bar inside the resort."

Again, I catch the uneasiness in her voice. She is also rubbing her palms repeatedly over her dress, and Lisa does not have sweaty palms.

"Oh. . . .ok." I stutter out, also suddenly feeling like I should give her some space. "I will just tell Sandra and Ethan that you are at the bar."

I watch her nod. "Thank you Kayden."

And with that, she turns around and begins to walk away. For a moment, something tells me that she may turn around to glance back at me, or smile at me, or you know, stuff like that.

But she doesn't.

Even right till the point she walks through the door of the bar and closes it behind her.