2

Have you ever experienced this kind of feeling? Like something or rather someone is making you feel secured and safe. They say that love is not about the butterflies that you feel in your stomach but rather the feeling of warmth and safe, the feeling of giving something without expecting in return. Agad akong umiling at pinipilit na iwala sa isipan ko ang ideyang 'yun. 

I keep on asking Mama and Papa how they survived, their love for each other is overflowing but not possessive. The kind of love I want to have someday even after what happened, I sighed and tried to calm myself at that thought. Kinapa ko ang kwentas ko at pumikit. 

If I could only turn back time. 

Mama said. "You can't love someone without loving yourself first, without healing all the wounds, and forgiving yourself as well as the people who wronged you, betrayed you." I can't understand it then until now. It's easier said than done. I can't do it, not yet. 

"Miss. September, " napabaling ako sa pintuan, nandito ako ngayon sa office ko at nagiisip tungkol sa nangyari kagabi sa club. Agad akong umiling at tinignan ang aking assistant. 

"Yes?" sagot ko at hinintay ko ang sasabihin niya, Bridgette is my secretary for almost 3 years now. Inayos niya ang kanyang salamin at ngumiti habang tinitignan ang note na hawak niya. 

"May pictorial po kayo ngayon kasama sina Miss Solene, " I rolled my eyes. Solene Fuentabella the famous gold digging satan's daughter she announced and look at me. "what time?" I asked her as I played with my ballpen, spinning it while listening to her announcements. 

"This 3 PM po Miss," magalang na sabi niya, agad kong tinignan ang relo at nakita ko na One PM palang. I sighed and nodded. "Meron pa ba?" I asked again. 

"Ah! Yes Miss. September, Mr. Adams called he said that he want the final portfolio tomorrow afternoon, if possible daw po after lunch?" she added, agad akong tumango at nagpaalam na siya na lalabas. I sighed and leaned on my chair. 

Pinakuha ko ang damit na gagamitin ko sa photoshoot habang nagbabasa ako ng mga email sa clients namin. Nagring ang cellphone ko at agad ko namang tinignan iyon. Napakunot ang noo ko ng makita ko na si Mama ang tumatawag pero agad ko namang sinagot yun. 

"Yes Ma?" I hear her ordering to our mades some chores before answering me. 

"Hija, I just called to tell you that we have a family dinner later and you have to come because your Papa and I are celebrating the expansion of our company, " She said. I smiled. Kuya took over the company but my Dad is also part of it he attends meetings and hang out with his employees like he always liked doing years ago. 

"Yes Mama, pupunta ako, " sagot ko naman dito at agad naman siyang sumaya sa naging sagot ko. She bid her goodbye kasi marami pa raw siyang gagawin, agad din naman akong nag paalam at naghanda na para sa photoshoot mamaya. Aside from being a photographer I also do modelling but not that much. Since mas hands on ako dito sa aking studio. 

"Miss?" tawag ng aking secretary sa labas ng pinto. "Ms. Fuentabella is in our dressing room na," she informed me and I said Okay. Agad naman akong nagtawag ng taga ayos. We are doing a photoshoot for a magazine featuring young ladies that are successful. I am grateful to be part of the cover it is my pleasure to be considered as one of them. 

"Miss. September eto po ang suit na susuotin niyo, " Bridgette said as the make up artist doing her thing and working her magic. Kung hindi lang talaga malaking karangalan tong event na 'to I would never participate specially with that bitch. I want to roll my eyes at that thought. 

"Okay, are the staffs ready?" I asked her. "Yes Miss, our photographer will be Mister. Brandon Ladesma of Today's Magazine, " she answered and I only nodded. Nang matapos ang paglagay ng kolerete saking mukha ay agad akong nagbihis. 

Lumabas na ako sa pintuan ng aking office, agad kong nakita ang babaeng dahilan ng paghihiwalay namin ni Jason well not like we have a realtionship but it's still counted as cheating right?  Though I only liked him but the feeling of being betrayed while he was courting you saying that he is 'loyal' seemed like a joke to me. Ugh! Men and their stupidity. 

She is with Brandon, flirting. Napataas agad ang isa kong kilay at ngumisi, nakita ko namang napatingin sa gawi ko si Brandon. Showing his smug smile, playful vibe personality. He is charming but not my type, he can passed as my annoying and nagger friend. 

"Ah! There you are," sabi niya sakin at agad namang lumapit, he kissed me on my cheek and smiled. "How are you Brandon? Long time no see ah!" sabi ko naman sa kanya at niyakap siya, agad naman siyang ngumisi at tumawa. 

"I'm fine, you? Mas lalo kang gumanda ah!" I rolled my eyes, still smiling. "You never changed! Bolero ka pa rin!" I laughed. Nakita ko sa gilid ng mata ko na nakabusangot na si Solene. Lumapit ako kay Brandon ng kaunti at bumulong. 

"Solene is not happy you here being friendly with me, " I whispered and giggled, I saw how Solene's eyes dilated with anger. I smirked. 

"Nah, you know how dirty she work, isa pa I don't mix my work with my personal life! " He whispered back at agad naman akong napahalakhak. Solene is a well known model too along with Jason, of course with what kind of work they have it's not shocking to see them flirting with each other. 

"I heard what she did, " dugtong niya pa. I rolled my eyes. "Magsama sila, I don't need a shallow man just to feel special and to boost my ego Brandon, you know that, " I said to him, agad naman itong tumango. Brandon is one of my closest friend during college and also came from wealthy family. 

"I know that Dale, that's why I never seen your eyes glimmed in happiness again, " he sadly commented. I sighed, no need ro remember that now. I have forgotten what it feels like and I'm afraid to feel what it is like again. 

Too much happines can also bring you greatest pain. 

"Enough with the drama, let's go and start this thing and get over with," agad naman siyang kumilos at inutusan ang mga tauhan ko para gawin ang gusto niya. 

We took our time smiling, looking serious at the camera. Every snapped feels like hours. Good thing I can deal with my grudges, more like bitternes. We wrapped things up at exactly five thirty at the afternoon. 

Brandon is busy looking at the pictures and here is Solene beside me throwing dagger stares. I look at her, not so happy with her being bitchy. 

"what?" I snapped at her. Looking her like if she's not gonna answer my question, with sense I would gladly break her neck. 

"Are you that bitter September?" She mockingly said, grinning I looked at her from head to hear toe back to her eyes, cringed. Looking insulted on what she said. 

"Why would I feel bitter? Are you that special Solene?" I said and chuckled without humor visible. "I am insulted, very" I added just to annoy her more. 

"You can have him if that's what you want but you breaking my ego is not gonna work, " I said and smiled to her, sweetly just to annoy her bitch face. 

"I am insulted that Jason didn't even think twice to kissed you back after saying he loves me, but oh well, You can be his trash can and he can be your trash" I said and stood up leaving her fuming mad, screaming my name. I grinned and laughed feeling satisfied. 

Not now. Not ever. 

Over my gorgeous body.