Sharing a Car, Losing a Child

The anesthesia kicked in and my eyelids grew impossibly heavy. Through the haze, my mind drifted back to a rainy night five years ago.

Adrian Lockwood had shown up at my apartment door, eyes red-rimmed, and kissed me. It was the first time I'd ever seen him lose his composure.

I found out later that Sloane Hartley had broken up with him and accepted someone else's proposal. He'd been drinking all night and crossed half the city to find me.

He knew I'd been in love with him for years. He'd always known.

After we got together, Adrian was good to me. He remembered my habits, gave me all the romantic gestures you'd expect from a boyfriend, and stayed up all night when I had a fever. I thought he genuinely wanted a fresh start.

Then, three months ago, Sloane came back, freshly divorced. Her return hit every crack between Adrian and me.

The first time I saw her was the day she arrived. Adrian picked me up from work with a bouquet of chamomile sitting in the passenger seat, and my heart lifted for a moment. Before I could say anything, he spoke first.

"We're swinging by the airport to pick up Sloane on the way. She gets really carsick, so sit in the back."

I froze, staring at him without moving. His eyes drifted toward the window.

"She's just an old friend, and it's on the way. It's not a big deal."

I gave a thin smile and climbed into the backseat.

The whole drive, Sloane talked openly about how rough the past few years had been for her. Adrian barely said a single word, but his grip on the steering wheel kept tightening.

Every time I glanced at the rearview mirror, his expression remained as tense as ever. I knew he felt sorry for her. I dropped my gaze and sat in the back like a stranger sharing a ride.

When we pulled up to her building, Adrian got out without saying a single word and carried her bags. Through the car window, I watched her reach up on her tiptoes to brush something off his shoulder. He didn't pull away.

The second time was when I found out I was pregnant. I rushed to his office with the test results, excited, only to find Sloane already there. She walked past me on her way out, trailing a heavy scent of rosemary.

It was just the two of us then, and I looked at Adrian.

"What is she doing here?"

"Sloane's the new executive secretary."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's a normal hire. I didn't see the need to mention it."

My voice shook. "She's your ex."

Adrian loosened his tie, irritation creeping into his voice. "Iris, when did you get so insecure? Things were complicated back then. Hiring her is proof I've moved past it.

"You need to stop reading into everything."