Praveen, You Must Go Home

Praveen seemed very nervous when his name was called to enter the audition room. Would I be humiliated again this time like before? He thought to himself. Every time he took audition, he became the jokes of the panelists. He was said not talented, can't acting, and other degrading remarks. And so far he was still strong enough to face panelists whose mouth were sharper than a razor. He believed someday, he definitely be selected to the next stage. That belief never waned in the slightest.

He had memorized the dialogues from the script. It's already by heart, and later it's just a matter of executing it in front of the panelists. Hopefully, all goes well.

But this time, he was too nervous, disturbing his concentration. He did not expect too much, it was because the message he received since two days ago which made him unable to focus. The Important message telling him to go back to Chandrapur. The message was sent by his mother's sister, Auntie Neha. There was no other explanation why he had to go home. When he asked what had happened in village, his aunty didn't even answer.

He wondered, was there anything so important that he had to go home? But what? He couldn't guess.

His mother was fine when he left her three months ago. When he received the message, he had already told his aunt that he couldn't back home soon, because he had an audition opportunity in Juhu. The audition conducted by a well known production house. They were looking for potential players for a film project.

Of course Praveen would not waste this opportunity. The number of applicants also did not dampen his steps. Although he had no acting experience at all, he had high self-confidence.

He entered the room. As usual, there were already several panelists who would assess the abilities of the candidates.

Their sharp gazes greeted his presence in the spacious room. Praveen stood before them and introduced himself before being asked.

"My name is Praveen Jayachandran. I am 22 years old from Chandrapur. Even though I don't have any experience as an actor, I'm eager to participate in this audition," he said with the confidence he had built up and he kept it from falling.

"What makes you so confident?" asked the man in red who sat in the middle. His gaze was cynical and condescending.

"I like movies. I've loved movies since I was little," he said.

"Liking movies doesn't mean you can be an actor!"

"I will bring out the best of my ability."

"Dozens candidates before you also said so. But after being tested, their abilities are very poor," said the man with the mustache beside the panelist in red.

"Besides acting, can you sing?"

"No! I don't have a good voice," Praveen answered honestly. Sweat started to wet his palms.

"You can dance?"

Praveen shook his head.

"Sorry, I can't dance. But I can fight, even with my bare hands," he replied.

The three panelists were smiling.

"We're looking for actor, not brawlers."

"But at least, it can be useful if there is a fight scene," Praveen cut in innocently.

"That fighting scene can be arranged. We don't need someone who's really good at it."

"From your appearance, it doesn't show that you are good at fighting," said the man on the far left.

"Looks can be deceiving," replied Praveen again.

The man raised his eyebrow. Not only that man, the others also looked a bit shocked. The three looked at Praveen with sharp glares.

Praveen Jayachandran, looked back at them one by one. His gaze was no less cold. He wanted to show that he wouldn't be intimidated by their stares. He was confident because behind his simple appearance, he was handsome. His eyebrows were thick, his jaw was solid, and his eyes were like an eagle's. Many girls in the village wanted to get acquainted with him, not even a few fell in love.

But the panelists knew that a handsome face doesn't always make advantage. The face is just the outer covering, talent is all that matters. Even a handsome face has another weakness, namely that it is not suitable for all roles.

"Okay, Boy, now try to stand facing the camera and turn left and right to take a profile shot," said the man in red.

Praveen immediately posed proudly facing the camera that pointing at him. He swiveled to the left for a moment to shoot his face and then to the right. The camera caught his face. Similar to shooting a criminal's face in an American movie scene, but in a different atmosphere.

"Well, to shorten the time, try to do a monologue like in the script we gave you, "said the man in red again. He seemed to dominate the conversation. It could be him who determines whether or not participants passed the audition.

"Okay," said Praveen. He was getting ready to do a monologue scene like in the script. But before he started, his cell phone suddenly rang. At first he ignored it, and the phone kept ringing. He paused for a moment and apologized to the panelists who seemed disturbed by the ringing of the phone.

Praveen reached his pocket to get the phone. On the screen he saw Auntie Neha's number. He looked distempered. The call was really annoying. He immediately turned off the phone.

"Your phone should have been turned off since you entered this audition room. No participant is allowed to use the phone during the audition," said the man on the left of the red shirt.

"I am sorry." That's all that comes out of Praveen's mouth.

"Okay, now go on. If it rings again, you better get out. You will be disqualified."

Praveen didn't make any move. In this room they are in power. In their hands all decisions.

He looked for a moment at the script. He had to act out the scene of a man who was about to shoot and intimidate the victim.

He placed the script on the floor and he pulled out the toy gun he kept under his shirt. He pointed the gun at the panelist in red as if he was the one he was going to kill.

His expression changed, his eyes were sharp and he spoke the dialogues he had memorized.

The three panelists stared at him unblinkingly, observing Praveen's role. Just two minutes, they immediately told to stop.

"It's enough!" the red shirt ordered. Praveen stopped and looked back at them.

"Why stopping? I'm not done yet."

"Two minutes of seeing you, we already know your abilities."

"How are my abilities?"

"Really bad! You have much more to learn. The role you playing is not like a cold-blooded killer, but looks like an arrogant person," said the panelist on the right.

"Okay, I'll try again."

"No, that's enough. We still have a lot of participants to test."

"So I didn't pass?" said Praveen.

"I didn't say that. I said enough."

"Can I continue?"

"You can go out!"

"You mean it's over? When will it be announced whether I passed or failed ?"

"We'll tell you later."

"By the phone or what?"

"You asking to much. You think we're an information center? Ask the receptionist at the front desk later. Understand?" said the man in red shirt.

Praveen didn't ask again. With unsteady steps he walked to the door where he had entered earlier. There was a feeling that this time he would fail again. It seemed that the panelists were not interested in his appearance, so they immediately told him to stop while acting. However, he had done everything he could. He had memorized all the dialogues in the script by heart.

Maybe it wasn't his fate to pass audition this time. When in the front room he went to the reception desk and asked when the audition announcement. The receptionist glanced coquettishly at him and smiled,

"Don't worry, the announcement will be in two days. How was it, you did well?"

"I do not know. I've done everything I can, but they even told me to stop," replied Praveen.

"Oh, I see? You better pray a lot to get pass. But I think you're fit to be an actor. Your face is supportive."

"You're not the first to say that," said Praveen.

"Oh yeah? What order am I?"

"The one hundred and fifty-seventh!" Praveen replied carelessly. The coquettish girl laughed. Her white teeth were lined up neatly.

"Okay, Handsome! You come here in two days."

"Hey, why wouldn't you just tell me by the phone instead of coming here?"

"That's how it usually is. Not by phone."

Praveen sighed. It meant that he would have to wait for in two more days, even though he was planning to return to Chandrapur first. It was impossible for him to go back and forth because the distance was quite far. 13 hours by train, or 17 hours by bus.

"Why are you confused?" the girl asked again.

"Oh, it's okay. I'll be here in two days. Okay, thanks for the info." Praveen walked out. But only a few steps, the girl said again.

"Oh yeah, what's your name?"

"Praveen."

"Bye bye Praveen. Don't forget to pray, okay?" The girl waved her hand and blinked her eyes. Praveen continued to step outside.

His steps were getting rickety. The hope that had been mounting, seemed to have shrunk because of being told to stop while acting out the scenes in the script. It was highly likely that he would be eliminated. But he didn't think it was because he wasn't talented, but it could be because there were so many experienced actors taking part. Isn't this a well-known talent agency, and the film to be made is a feature film produced by a very famous production house in India? he even had seen some actors and actresses who also auditioned. How fierce the competition.

Never mind! He tried to calm down and tried to take a deep breath. It was true what the girl at the reception said, the only last resort she could do was to pray a lot, so that the Almighty would grant his wish.

"Oh, Almighty God Mesha Rashi! Please allow me to pass the audition this time." his lips suddenly spoke and recited the spells he could remember. "I really want to fulfill my dream as an actor. Give me the way so that I can make it happen."

His lips stuttered reciting a spell. He admitted that it had been a long time since he had gone to the temple to do puja. Even praying was rare.

He was already standing outside the high office fence that blocking the building from the street. From the outside the building looked arrogant and mysterious. But there was an opportunity to make dream come true of becoming a famous person.

He tried to look back. He vowed to come back again in two days. But for a moment he was stunned. He touched the back pocket of his pants which contained his wallet. The wallet was still there, all he was worried about was its contents.

His savings were getting dwindling day by day. Three months in Mumbai without a job, obviously very draining the contents of the wallet. He tried to remember how much money he left to survive. If he could continue to be frugal, it might still be another week. Hey, hadn't he been thrifty all this time? He only spent money for important thing. Especially for food and transportation. As for the cost of living, he didn't have to think about it because he had been living with relative of his late father in Mumbai all this time.

Even though Uncle Mahindra's wife had teased him, he shut his ears tightly. She said that Praveen's effort to audition was useless. There would be no results, just wasting time and energy. He better look for a definite job. Being a roadside barber was much more profitable than dreaming of being a bollywood artist.

Huh, that sucks! If he had not considered Uncle Mahindra, he would have gagged the woman's mouth.

He suddenly remembered that his cell phone had been turned off. He took the phone from his pocket and turned it back on. Just as the phone was active, there was an incoming message immediately. From Auntie Neha. Again. Quickly he read the message.

'Praveen, you should go home. Your mother died!'

That's the message. The phone he was holding almost fell. He didn't believe it. Really? His heart sank into his stomach. As though he was struck by lightning. Nooo!!