Chapter 5 : Virginity Vow

Raya's POV

The wine is making me feel relaxed. I do not remember a time when I had a birthday celebration like this. There was no cake for my birthday after my father had died and Mr.Barlow had just ordered me the prettiest and tastiest cake I had ever eaten in my life. He even sang the happy birthday song for me. The appetizers and the main course had been delicious too. I had never eaten such scrumptious food before in my life or been to a restaurant as fancy as this one. I hope I am not looking like a complete idiot by gorging on everything that is put in front of me like someone who hasn’t eaten in a week. And oh my God the wine was so good. I used to always wonder what was the big deal about alcohol and why people drank so much. I had even taken a sip of the beer that my stepdad keeps drinking so often and I hated how it tasted. But this was delicious. I couldn’t compare it to anything else. It was not just about how it tasted. I was a bundle of nerves when I arrived here and now I am feeling like a confident and sexy young woman.

            Maybe the wine was giving me confidence. I knew I needed a lot of confidence for tonight. I was terrified of what was to come. Was I going to sleep with this gorgeous man sitting across me? The thought was giving me goosebumps. But now that I have spent some time with him I am quite liking the idea of sleeping with him. Imagining his broad chest laying on mine and his long well-manicured fingers touching my sex. Ooohhh I had to cross my legs when I thought about it as I was feeling a strong tugging sensation at my belly. I didn’t know if it was the food, wine, or the naughty thoughts about Mr.Barlow which caused that. And when Mr. Barlow held my hand I felt my whole being awaken. All the buzz from the wine was gone and I was hyper-aware of the fact that his hand was touching mine. When his hands grazed against my lips, I felt a little wet in my panties and I was shocked. What was happening? Was I desiring a man so much older than me? He most certainly did not take an interest in a timid little girl like me. What was I thinking?

            Then why did his gaze linger for a while on my lips? Why do his eyes keep darting all over my body? I hope to God that Mr.Barlow did not plan to gift my virginity to someone else. I was hoping with all my heart that Mr.Barlow was the one who would deflower me. If he can be so kind and delicate with a stranger he had just met and treat her to such a lavish dinner just because it was her birthday then he surely would be soft and gentle with a virgin for her first time. I had heard numerous stories from my girlfriends about how the first time is extremely painful. Girls complained of being sore for days down there when their boyfriends couldn’t wait to have sex with them. Only a couple of them explained that if the boyfriend was caring and took it slow then the pain would be less and it could even be pleasurable for the girl.

“Are you scared of me?” Mr. Barlow asked.

Quite the opposite Mr. Barlow. I desire you.

“No Mr. Barlow. You are too kind to me. Thank you for tonight” I smiled at him.

“Don’t thank me yet girl. You might hate me after tonight” he said “How did a girl like you get into a situation like this? Did you know that they were auctioning your virginity tonight”

 I nodded and felt my cheeks flush. I was sure that I was looking like a beet at the moment.

“I am sorry I shouldn’t have been so blunt about it. But I am too curious. Don’t you have parents? Are they aware of what is going on with you” he went on.

“I do Mr. Barlow. Yes, they are very well aware. My mother and stepdad have consented to this. I have consented for it too” I said.

“Money problems?” he asked

I just nodded my head.

“How did a girl as pretty as you stay a virgin for so long? I am sure there must have been many boys throwing themselves at you” his curiosity egged him on.

“Because of my father,” I said and I could see his brows furrow with surprise.

“Not my stepdad who sold me but my actual father. He had me make a promise to him, a virginity vow. I vowed that I would stay a virgin until I found the right person. That I would offer my virginity as a gift to the man I would be marrying” I said.

“Wow. Do people still do that? And you obeyed your father and stayed a virgin for so long. Where is he now? Why didn’t he come and rescue you when you were sold for money” Mr. Barlow chuckled shaking his head. I could understand why he thought that.

“Because he is dead Mr. Barlow. That is why I was so helpless when my stepdad and mom emotionally blackmailed me into going away with these men. They said if I went with them then all the debts that my stepdad has borrowed from them would be waived off and considered paid. So I was just a pawn for them now. My stepdad was probably relieved that he could finally wash his hands off of me. My mother was also happy I guess that she didn’t have to bear my responsibility anymore. She could concentrate on my stepbrother and stepdad.

What else could I do? Who would help me? I thought that my stepdad would step into my father’s shoes and take care of me too but he had never liked me from the start and when the opportunity presented itself to get rid of me, he was only too happy.” I said bluntly. I was surprised that there were no tears in my eyes. I had cried too much yesterday and when I left home thinking about all this and how unwanted I felt but strangely when I vocalized the same to Mr. Barlow not a drop of tear escaped my eyes.

“I am truly sorry for everything that has happened to you dear child,” Mr. Barlow said. He strangely reminded me of my father at this moment. Strong, sweet, and caring.

“It’s okay Mr. Barlow. It is what it is. We all have to be brave and accept what life gives us. I have cried too much already. I don’t want to be all sad and mopey now. It is my birthday after all”

“Wow. Your optimism is infectious” Mr. Barlow took both of my hands in his palms. My hands felt so tiny in his hands. His palms were surprisingly soft for a man’s hands.

“I promise you little girl that I will never force you to do anything that you don’t want to do. I don’t go to these places but tonight I accompanied my cousin as he didn’t want to go alone. In fact, he was the one who placed the bid and bought you for me. You will be safe and well taken care of and you will have nothing to worry about. Do you understand me?” he said.

My head was spinning trying to make sense of everything that he was saying. What was he really trying to tell me? he didn’t place a bid on me and wouldn’t force me to do anything that I didn’t want to. So he wouldn’t sleep with me. I should be happy right. Yes, I should be. But what is there a strange sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach? Was I hoping that he would force me to sleep with him? Maybe I was. I was so ready to sleep with him but now he is saying that he wouldn’t and that he did not even bid for me. What did he want me to do then? I had so many questions to ask him but I felt like my stomach was twisting and turning and I might empty the contents of my stomach if I opened my mouth. So I just nod to everything he said and don’t utter a word.