Chapter 6

Chapter 6

“Are you really leaving?” Elena asks, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips like she could actually stop me.

I laugh. “Not immediately.”

“Why do you have to go so far?” She’s got that whiny tone in her voice, the one that always gets Dad and Noah to cave. But it’s not going to work on me.

“It’s just in New Orleans. A single flight away,” I tell her.

I’m in my room, packing for my early morning flight tomorrow out of this place I once thought I’d live my whole life in, maybe even die here. But now, I know I have to leave.

“I don’t understand,” she says. “Why did you suddenly want to follow some teaching program all the way in New Orleans?”

I’m a teacher. I want to further my studies. It’s not that hard to understand. But this isn’t about me, it’s about Elena and the fact that I’m not sticking to her script.

“It’s only for a year,” I say over my shoulder.

“You haven’t even used your first degree yet, what do you mean ‘further your studies’? It’s just an excuse, isn’t it? To get away from Noah.” She’s looking at me like I’ve done something wrong. “I told you I forced Noah to tell me. Are you really just going to end your friendship because of that?”

I sit back on my heels and let out a long breath. I’m so done talking about Noah. I haven’t answered any of his calls or the hundreds of texts he’s sent since that day, and that won’t change.

But Noah isn’t why I’m leaving.

I’m just tired. Tired of this house. Of living in it like I’m some kind of replica of my sister. Something people stare at to remember her. I just need my own world. A place where I’m the center. And that, I hope, is what New Orleans has to offer me. I pray.

“He doesn’t care about our friendship, so why should I?” I say.

Elena takes a breath like she’s about to launch into something, but I cut her off. “Just so you know,” I glance toward the door, “Mom’s already been in here saying the same thing. I’m not changing my mind.”

She goes quiet. Doesn’t say a word. Then finally, she mutters, “Fine. Let’s say it’s over. Realistically, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway—”

I laugh, sharp and humorless.

“No, think about it,” she says, shrugging like she’s being logical. “You’re in love with him. It would’ve been weird, uncomfortable. Having my sister in love with my husband? I wouldn’t be able to trust you alone with him. Don’t look at me like that, it’s the truth and you know it.”

I roll my eyes and go back to folding clothes into my suitcase like I’m moving forever, because maybe I am. Maybe New Orleans will have something worth holding onto. Something that helps me forget everything I’m leaving behind in this tired town.

“So, yeah, I’m not against ending the friendship, even though I love you two as  best friends,” she says, voice softening. “But it doesn’t explain why I have to lose my sister.”

“You’re not losing me.”

“Except I am,” she whines, dropping to her knees beside me. “Please don’t go, Ray. I’m begging you. I promise I’ll be the bestest sister you’ve ever known.”

I laugh, half amused, half hurting. “You can call me anytime, Elena. I’m only a phone call or FaceTime away.”

“Please?” she says, batting her lashes again, the same way everyone always says is adorable, though she’s honestly too old for it now.

“Don’t make this difficult for me, Elena.”

“Ray?” Her tone shifts when she realizes she’s not going to get her way this time. I’m actually leaving. My flight’s so early I really should sleep now, if I even can. It’s my first time on a plane and I’ve got a million fears to overthink: what if the plane crashes and everyone jumps out with parachutes, but I don’t have one? Or I do, but I pull the cord wrong and it doesn’t inflate?

“So you’re really going to leave.” Her voice is soft now. She finally hears me. Finally understands that I won’t be part of her life’s movie anymore except through a screen, from thousands of miles away.

“You won’t even notice I’m gone.” I smile at her, because it’s true. She won’t. I know Mom won’t either. She shouted at me when I showed her the brochure, how I’d already planned everything on my own.

“Why didn’t you consult with me?” she’d snapped. “Your sister just got married, and you know their house doesn’t have any furniture yet. There’s so much to do, and you’re thinking about studying more? When did you become so self-centered?”

I never talk back to Mom, what’s the point? I just stare, let her rant, let her lecture until she wears herself out. Then she goes to sleep. 

Dad is different. Supportive. He tells me to call if I need money, if I just want to talk. He hugs me, and I nearly cry, but I’ve made up my mind. This is the right choice. 

Elena fights harder. Nearly an hour of needling, pleading, bargaining before she  finally  gives up. We end up talking for hours about New Orleans. I show her a video of the university. She makes me promise to call her at least ten times a day and send my location if I ever go on a date with a French guy. Somehow, we end up talking about  dating  until midnight. 

Her husband Is still downstairs, fast asleep after waiting for her. When I finally shove her toward the door, he startles awake, eyes flicking to me first.

“ See you soon, ” I say to Elena, but I see it, the sadness creeping into her eyes. She really  is  going to miss me.

And I realize I’ll miss her too.

She hugs me, clinging, shaking slightly. Then suddenly, she starts  sniffling  like I’m going off to war or something.

“ My Ray, ” she whimpers, refusing to let go.

“ Get her off me, ” I beg, anyone,  someone but there’s only Noah in the room. 

He peels Elena off me, pulling her into his arms.

“ When are you leaving? ” he asks, holding her steady while his focus stays locked on  me .

“ None of your business, ” I snap.

“ Ray, come on. ”

I sigh. “ Just take her home. ”

“ I will, ” he says. “ Just tell me when. I’ll drive you. ”

Yeah,  right.  So he can try to explain why he couldn’t keep the  one  secret I needed him to? No  thank you . But I know Noah. He won’t let it go. “ Seven A.M., ” I lie.

“It’s not seven AM.” He knows me too well. I scowl.

“Ray, look, I know I screwed up, and it’s going to take you time to forgive me, but I know we can work through it.”

He is just giving me the same line from one of his hundred text messages.

“I’m leaving at two in the morning, but I don’t want you to drive me there. I don’t want to see you. So don’t you dare show up.”

Hating Noah was easy. The hard part was accepting that I didn’t hate him at all. So I set my face in rigid lines and walked away as soon as I was done.

“Ray,” he calls after me.

I hear Elena saying, “Don’t go after her, Noah. You’ll only make it worse. Don’t let her hate you. I’m sorry.”

The words fade, and I realize I am holding my breath. I release it and rest my back against the wall, breathing in to control the overwhelming urge to curl into myself and give in to the feeling of being absolutely pathetic.