The Heart Remembers

Jane's POV

             PRESENT

The tragic beauty of this sleeping place became my new valid territory, this place echoed with unbearable grief. Birds swinging on the strands of melancholy, the sun couldn't outshine the emptiness of the heartfelt loss.

In every direction, I was surrounded by lined monuments, left to right, back, and front. There was a new hut waiting for its new owner and yet my mind couldn't find a more perfect habitat to keep our everlasting bond alive.

" You wanna listen to the good news? " I asked, excited to report to him.

" I'm officially a fifth-year electronic engineering student. Still can't believe it myself.

Granny says that I'm becoming a grown beautiful woman " I giggled. " I think some might agree that I'm more beautiful than you right now, and that is why she still insists I need a boyfriend. "

I tossed a large portion of chips in my mouth. From the other side of the cemetery, a vertical wrinkle formed between Cesar's eyebrows, as he narrowed his eyes looking my way.

Cesar is the gravedigger, we are pretty close, maybe because I'm always here. He likes ignoring me most of the time, but deep down, very deep almost finding petrol, I know he enjoys my presence. He says that I'm weird, but hey, he is the gravedigger, not me.

" Actually it's all your fault I don't have a boyfriend" I continued with my mouth full. " Whenever I go to Granny's she cooks for two, then I've to eat for the both of us"

"So the extra pound I've been putting on is also your fault, I miss my skinny self "

I brought my knees to my chest, wrapped my arms around the legs, and buried my head on them.

" Happy 21st birthday to us twin " I whispered.

After his death, I drowned deep in depression. I went to several therapists but didn't help. Most of the time I would just sit in front of them, staring at the wall never saying a word.

Our house became dreadful, we didn't know what to say to each other for a long time, I guess he was the glue that kept us together.

First-year mom didn't want me to go to college, she said I was not ready yet, but I went anyway. I needed something to occupy my mind, to prevent myself from going insane. I changed from medicine to Electronic engineering, that way I felt closer to him.

Everyone else has moved on, I guess I'm the only one who couldn't. Luke is dating Annabelle, they actually look cute together. Ailee is in a long-distance relationship with Kim Yong and I was just trying to bury myself in the books.

Ailee chose Journalism, Luke is doing mechanical engineering and Annabelle is doing business management, we are just praying that she will make it out alive.

It became a habit to visit his grave and talk about everything that was going on. I would always sit back to back with his grave and talk non stop. I think it made me feel like he was still involved in my life.

I either spent our birthdays here or at Granny's. I couldn't be at home because the atmosphere was melancholic. I wouldn't know if we should celebrate or morn. I know that as a family we were trying to make things go back to normal, but this date wasn't the best.

After a few months, we found out from the police that he was shot by a group of guys that stopped him in the middle of the road pretending to have a problem with their motorcycle. The CCTV captured Jaden stopping the car to try and help them, but when he walked out of the car one of the guys grabbed him by the collar and he tried to fight him off, when he finally managed the other guy shot him.

I couldn't understand why they shot him. It was strange because it seemed like they wanted to kill him, but why? They could've just taken the car and leave.

" Sometimes I feel like when mom and dad look at me, they see you " I frowned at the thought " I'm a constant reminder that you are gone "

" I better go, granny is waiting for me. Now that holidays started if I don't visit her, she will be on my case " I grabbed my bag moved in front of the gravestone.

" Love you, big guy" I told him, more like reminding myself.

" Goodbye Cesar" I told Cesar, that seemed to enjoy the fact that I was finally leaving. I decided to walked to granny's as it was just a few blocks from here, so I would be there in no time.

" Look who decided to show up " Granny mumbled.

I chirped throwing my bag on the couch and hugged her." Grumpy as ever "

She let go of me, went straight to the kitchen, and came out with a birthday cake " Happy birthday pumpkins "

I blew the candles out and we started eating.

For some reason, she always says ' Pumpkins 'on our birthday as if saying it to Jaden as well. I guess I'm not the only one who didn't move on.

She arched an eyebrow shaking her head " You are coming from his grave right? "

" No " I replied without looking at her, I knew what she was about to say.

" You need to start living my child, you can't be stuck in the past forever "

" I'm living, I just went there because is our birthday "

" You go there almost everyday Jane, it's killing you. You are hurting, hiding your emotions will only just makes it worse. Since that day, you didn't cry, not even once "

" Sometimes, I wake up and I swear I can hear his voice " My voice squeaked. " I feel like if I start crying I'll never be able to stop "

" Oh my child, come here " She opened her arms to welcome me for a warm embrace " You have been through soo much. Allow yourself to breathe "

" After all these years, I still have no idea of what to do, every plan I had involved him, every inch of it, and now, I've nothing "

--

As the holidays dwelled between nature's gravest foe, day and night, soon enough, a brilliant orange flared down into quiet gleaming stars, announcing

the majestic arrival of a new freshly baked year.

My last year as a student, I couldn't wait to finish.

The first week of classes was enjoyable, I had only three modules, all part-time. So I had time to spend with my Aliens.

Being around Annabelle and Luke was mesmerizing. She was always arguing about something and he always replied with 'okays'.

Ailee was always on her phone, chatting with her boyfriend. We still didn't know him personally, we only talked through video calls, but he was already part of the crew, personally, he was like a brother.

After classes, I took new flowers to Jaden's grave. I wanted to stay but the weather was gray and cloudy threatening to rain. I decided to walk to granny's house before it rains.

I was halfway there when the rain drizzled down, stinging my skin.

" Good! Just what I needed " I took a deep breath. " I knew water was the enemy of progress since Titanic "

I arrived soaked, my pale skin missing heat. I stormed into the house, there was no one in the living room, I didn't bother to look behind me.

" Granny, can you help me with a towel " I shouted my lungs out. " I'm drowning in these clothes "

' I need to get out of these clothes, like yesterday '

I threw my bag on the floor, took off my shirt then I heard a noise coming from upstairs.