LOGINMillie's POV
[Background Song: Chris Brown's "Under the Influence”]
Millie Jones gripped the edge of the passenger seat, her knuckles pale against the worn leather. The journey was almost beginning to seem endless. The highway stretched endlessly ahead, flanked by dense pines that blurred into a green haze as Richard drove. She hadn’t said more than ten words since they left the house three hours ago. Why bother? This trip had been doomed from the start. Her mother, Adrianna, was supposed to be here. The three of them would finally be doing the “family bonding” thing Adrianna had hyped up for months. But at the last possible minute, her mother had called with that familiar, airy excuse.
“There is a work emergency. One of the partners needs me on a big case. You two go ahead and have fun!”
The subtext was always the same, another weekend with whatever new fling had her distracted this month. Millie’s stomach twisted at the thought. Her mother’s infidelity wasn’t new, but it still stung like salt in an old wound. And now she was stuck with him, of all people. Richard. Her stepfather of six long years. She couldn't believe he had lasted that long. She stole a glance at him from the corner of her eye. Then her thoughts drifted slightly; Forty-five, broad-shouldered, with salt-and-pepper hair that somehow made him look distinguished rather than old. His hands rested confidently on the steering wheel, veins standing out against tanned skin. He wore a simple gray henley that stretched across his chest, the sleeves pushed up to reveal forearms corded with muscle from weekend projects around the house. Objectively, he was attractive. Millie hated that she noticed.
“You okay over there?” Richard’s voice was low and steady, the same calm tone he always used even when she was being difficult. It irritated her.
“Fine,” she muttered, turning back to the window. The air conditioning hummed, but the late summer heat still pressed against the glass.
Her tank top clung lightly to her skin, and she tugged at the hem of her denim shorts, suddenly self-conscious about how much leg they showed. Her hair was quite messy. The air played swiftly, enabling her hair to swirl across her face. Stupid. It wasn’t like he was looking. The music played all along.
“Your mom said she’ll try to join us tomorrow if things wrap up.”
Millie let out a bitter laugh. “Sure she will.”
She crossed her arms, pressing her thighs together against the seat. The car felt smaller with every mile. His scent was something woodsy and clean, like cedar and soap, which had already filled the confined space. She’d always hated how good he smelled. It made the resentment feel messy. Richard sighed but didn’t push. That was his way. He was patient and unshakable. The perfect counter to her mother’s chaos. Sometimes Millie wondered if that was why her mom had married him. To have someone steady to come home to after her storms. It didn’t make Millie any less bitter about the way he’d inserted himself into their lives when she was still grieving her real dad. They stopped once for gas and snacks. Millie wandered the aisles of the dusty convenience store, grabbing chips and soda while Richard filled the tank. When she returned to the car, he was leaning against the hood, scrolling his phone. His eyes flicked up as she approached, lingering for half a second on her legs before he looked away. She noticed. Or maybe she imagined it. Heat crept up her neck anyway.
Back on the road, the terrain shifted from highway to winding mountain roads. The pines grew thicker, the air cooler and sharper with the scent of earth and water. Millie’s resentment simmered, but something else threaded through it now. A restless energy she couldn’t name. The car jostled over a pothole, and her hand brushed his thigh as she steadied herself. She yanked it back like she’d been burned.
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“No problem.” His voice had dropped a fraction. He cleared his throat. “We’re almost there. The campsite is supposed to be pretty isolated. Good for getting away from everything.”
Everything. Including the complicated tangle of feelings she’d been shoving down for years. Millie shifted in her seat, the friction of denim against skin suddenly noticeable. She pictured the tent they’d packed… one large family tent, because her mother had insisted it would be “cozy.” Now it would just be the two of them. Alone. For days. By the time they pulled into the gravel lot at Lakeside Retreat, the sun hung low, painting the water in shades of molten gold. The lake stretched out, it was calm and inviting, ringed by towering evergreens. A few distant campsites dotted the shoreline, but theirs was tucked away at the end of a short trail, private and shadowed. Perfect for solitude. Or trouble.
Richard stopped the engine. “Home sweet home for the next few days,” he said.
Millie climbed out, stretching her legs. The air smelled of pine needles, damp earth, and woodsmoke from someone else’s fire. Birds called overhead. It would have been peaceful if her pulse wasn’t already racing for no good reason. They unloaded the car in relative silence. Richard carried the heavy tent bag and cooler while Millie managed the sleeping bags and food pack. His biceps flexed under the weight, and she caught herself staring before forcing her gaze to the ground. Get it together, Millie. He’s your stepdad. She thought to herself silently
The campsite clearing was perfect. The flat ground near the water, a fire pit already lined with stones, and enough trees for privacy. They worked together to set up the tent, the instructions spread on a nearby log. Richard’s presence was impossible to ignore as they snapped poles into place. He stood close, his arm brushing hers as he reached for a stake. Warmth radiated from his body, and she caught that cedar scent again, stronger now with the exertion.
“Hold this steady,” he said, his voice low and focused. His hand covered hers briefly on the pole, large and callused. A spark shot up her arm. She nodded, not trusting her voice.
As the tent took shape, the reality settled in. One big tent. Two sleeping bags side by side inside. No separate spaces. No mom as a buffer. Millie’s mouth went dry. She busied herself unrolling the sleeping bags, smoothing them out with unnecessary care. The fabric was soft, and inviting. She imagined lying there later, listening to his breathing in the dark.
Richard hammered the last stake with a few solid swings of the mallet. Sweat glistened on his forehead. He straightened, wiping his brow with the hem of his shirt, revealing a strip of toned abdomen. Millie looked away quickly, but not before the image burned into her mind.
“Looks good,” he said, surveying their work. A small, satisfied smile tugged at his lips. “You did great. Team effort.”
“Yeah,” she replied, voice tighter than she wanted. “Team effort.”
They built a fire as dusk settled. Richard arranged the logs with practiced efficiency while Millie fetched kindling. The flames caught, crackling warmly and sending sparks dancing upward. They sat on folding chairs, the lake reflecting the orange glow. The distant murmur of other campers carried faintly on the breeze… laughter, a dog barking once, but their spot felt worlds away. Richard handed her a skewer with marshmallows. Their fingers brushed again. Longer this time. Neither pulled away immediately.
“You’ve been quiet,” he observed, roasting his own. “I know this isn’t how you pictured it. With your mom bailing again.”
Millie shrugged, watching the marshmallow bubble and brown. “It’s whatever. Not like it’s new.” Inside, her thoughts churned. Why does he have to be so… decent? So solid? The resentment she’d clung to for years felt slippery here, under the stars, with his steady presence beside her.
He turned the skewer thoughtfully. “I’m glad you still came. Figured you might back out too.”
“And leave you out here alone?” She tried for sarcasm, but it came out softer. “Someone has to make sure you don’t get eaten by bears.”
Richard chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that did unwelcome things to her stomach. “Fair enough. Though I think you’re the one who needs watching. You always wander off when you’re stressed.”
She glanced at him sharply. He remembered that? From family hikes years ago? The thought unsettled her. She popped the toasted marshmallow into her mouth, the sweetness exploding on her tongue. Sticky residue clung to her lips. She licked it away, aware of his eyes on her for a beat too long. The temperature dropped as the night fell. The fire popped and hissed. Millie pulled a light hoodie over her tank top, but the chill still seeped in. Or maybe it wasn’t the chill. Her skin felt hypersensitive, every rustle of leaves or lap of water amplified.
“We should probably turn in soon,” Richard said eventually. “Long day tomorrow. Hiking the trail around the lake, maybe swimming if it warms up.”
Millie nodded. They doused the fire and headed into the tent. The space was intimate, cozy, even. Their sleeping bags lay parallel, maybe a foot apart. Richard moved with quiet efficiency, changing into sleep shorts and a t-shirt in the dim glow of his lantern. Millie caught glimpses: the strong line of his back, the way his shorts hung on his hips. She turned away, heart pounding, and slipped into her own sleep clothes; a thin camisole and soft shorts.
They lay down. The lantern clicked off, plunging them into darkness broken only by faint moonlight filtering through the mesh roof. Millie stared up at the fabric ceiling, hyper-aware of every sound. His breathing. The shift of his body. The faint heat radiating across the small gap between them. She turned onto her side, facing away from him, but sleep wouldn’t come. Old tensions twisted with something new…something warm and dangerous uncoiling low in her belly. The resentment was still there, but it felt different now. It felt sharper. Mixed with a forbidden curiosity that made her thighs press together.
This is ridiculous, she thought. He’s your stepfather. Mom’s husband. But Mom wasn’t here. And Richard’s presence filled the tent like a promise…or a threat.
Beside her, Richard shifted again. “Are you awake?” His voice was barely above a whisper, husky with near-sleep.
“Yeah,” she breathed.
There was a brief silence. Then, softly, “Night, Millie. Sweet dreams.”
His words lingered in the dark, settling over her skin like a touch. She bit her lip, a confusing rush of shame and excitement flooding her veins. The trip had only just begun, and already the air between them felt charged, heavy with everything unsaid. Millie closed her eyes, but the images behind her lids; his hands, his scent, the way he’d looked at her by the fire…refused to fade. Tomorrow, she told herself, it would be normal. Just camping. And just family.
But deep down, she wasn’t sure she wanted normal anymore.
Millie POVI watched her from the upstairs window for forty-five minutes.Forty-five minutes of a woman watering her own garden in her own front yard in her own town at six in the evening on a Tuesday when she had supposedly already dropped by. She had been watering the hostas. The hostas did not need watering. I knew because my mother had hosted a Halbrook cocktail party every spring for nine years, and I had learned, through endurance more than interest, that hostas should never be watered in the evening because the wet leaves invited rot, and the Halbrooks had lost three of theirs to rot in 2019, and Mrs. Halbrook had written a small column about it in the “Garden & Grounds” newsletter she self-published.Mrs. Halbrook knew better. Mrs. Halbrook was watering her hostas at six in the evening because Mrs. Halbrook was watching my house. I sat on the window seat in Richard's shirt with my knees pulled to my chest, and I looked at her across the street through the gap in the blinds. Th
Richard POVMrs. Halbrook has a casserole I did not ask for and a knock I did not want. She uses the knocker three times, in a row, in that way women of a certain generation do when they are not knocking on a door so much as announcing themselves to the house at large. The knocker is the brass pineapple. Adrianna hates the pineapple. I have opinions about the pineapple but I have not voiced them in years and I am not going to start. Millie is in my shirt. This is the first problem. The second problem is that Millie and I have not been out of the upstairs hallway for the better part of forty minutes and we are both flushed in a way that would be obvious to any woman over sixty who has ever once in her life lived in a house. The third problem is that Mrs. Halbrook has a casserole which means she has been cooking it in her own kitchen and walking it across the street, and Mrs. Halbrook does not cook and walk things across the street lightly. Mrs. Halbrook cooks and walks things across th
Millie POVHe used the wrong word. I keep coming back to this. I keep chewing on the corner of my thumbnail in the upstairs bathroom of my own house, looking at my own face in the mirror, and I keep coming back to this. He said should. He said “this is what it should be.” Should. As if the life we have been stealing in garages and pantries and kitchen counters and on the grass of a lake we don't own was the correct arrangement of the universe, and my mother, three hundred miles south, was the incorrect one. I want to be wrong about what he meant. I want the sentence to mean something smaller than what I think it means. I want it to mean I like today I want it to mean this is what I would have wanted a Tuesday to look like. I want it to mean nothing I have to do anything about. But I watched his face when he said it, and his face was not a face that is saying something small. His face was the same face that said this is my house now when his hand lifted me onto the counter this morning
Richard POVShe made coffee naked on the third morning. I want to be precise about this because the memory is a thing I want to keep. I will not write sexy because I'm not twenty-three anymore. I will write mine. Millie made coffee naked on the third morning of five days I had to myself, and I sat in the doorway of the kitchen and watched her do it without her knowing. She couldn't know I was watching because there was a particular thing she did when she thought no one was in the room. A kind of small, settled occupancy of her own body, like she was finally, briefly, alone in a way that didn't cost her anything. I have been watching this lady for three years learn how to be alone, and it has been the longest slow-motion grief of my life. I did not make a sound.She reached for the kettle with both hands. The kettle was the lever-arm kind, the one with the hollow handle you have to grip from above. She gripped it with both palms, the water in it thicker than water, the steam rising aro
Millie POVSoon enough the moon was already shining bright. It was late already. Adrianna told us at dinner. She always tells us at dinner. The dining-room table has become her personal podium. She gets this little breath before she announces something. A shortness of breath that means she's already rehearsed the reaction she wants from it. She doesn't get the reaction she wants from me tonight.“Girls' trip,” she says. “Four days. Tahoe. With Marcy and Dee and my cousin Pippa. You remember Pippa right, she's the one who…”“Four days?” I said.“Five if you count the drive down. We've rented this gorgeous little…”I cut in politely. “When?”“Monday, baby. We leave Monday morning.” She saidI stared at her. She did not notice I was staring because she was already on her phone showing Richard a photo of the cabin.“Look at the little porch, Richard, look at the pinecones they put on every windowsill, isn't that darling,” and Richard was smiling at the phone the way Richard smiled at ever
Richard POVI have made a number of mistakes in my life. I have made them in the order most men do. I drank too much in my twenties. I married a woman I did not understand in my thirties. I agreed to a second marriage I understood even less in my early forties. Each mistake had a clean shape to it. I could point at any one of them and say “there, that is what I did wrong,” and then I could put it on the shelf and move on with my week.Millie is not a clean shape. Millie is the only woman my hands have ever felt right on. I will not say this out loud. I will not say anything out loud for the rest of this week if I can help it. The kitchen was bad enough. The garage was worse. The pantry this morning was… I will not write the word down. I will not dignify it. Whatever the pantry was, it was mine, and what was mine now was no longer allowed in my mouth, it was only allowed in my mouth, I have lost the sentence. I was on the back porch in the late afternoon sun when my phone buzzed in my







