Substitute No More

One week before the wedding, Justin took me all over Riverstone to complete the “100 Things Every Couple Must Do Together” list that my younger sister, Stella, had written before she passed away.

When we reached the final item on the list, Justin handed me Stella’s wedding dress and got down on one knee to propose.

“Eva, be careful putting this on. Don’t ruin it. It’s Stella’s dress, and you’ll be wearing it at our wedding too. You in this dress will help me fulfill my dream of marrying her.”

My mother, Sandra, stood nearby, wiping tears from her eyes. She pulled a small ring box from her coat and placed it in Justin’s hand.

“This was Stella’s. Let this be the ring you use to propose. It’ll be like you’re proposing to her, too.”

I stood there in that oversized dress, looking ridiculous.

Justin reached out to slip the ring onto my finger, not even asking me if I was willing.

I ripped off the veil and knocked the ring from his hand.

“I thought choosing me meant you were starting to let her go. I was wrong. I’m leaving.”

…

I always knew Justin hadn’t forgotten Stella.

After all, he still carried her photo with him and called her name in his sleep. However, I thought time would help him see me.

I was wrong.

“You’re being unreasonable, Eva! Stella never got the love she deserved. Can’t you let her feel it now?”

Justin’s brows furrowed, anger flashing in his eyes.

I held the veil in my hands, lips pressed tight. I didn’t want to give in.

Sandra walked over and gently patted my shoulder. The touch made me look up, thinking she might understand. However, her eyes were full of blame.

“Eva, you’re being unreasonable. Stella’s gone. You shouldn’t be fussing over this.”

Justin nodded and reached for my dress.

“Sandra’s right. You’ve had it easier than Stella ever did. You need to be punished. Take off her dress!”

I didn’t resist. I stood still like a puppet while Justin stripped the dress off me, leaving only the base layer.

Then he pushed me down onto the sand and looked at me with disgust.

“Don’t think looking pitiful will get you sympathy. Pick up the ring and give it to me!”

I picked the ring out of the sand and handed it to him. My pride lay shattered on the ground.

Justin’s assistant, Nick, looked at me with sympathy.

He stepped forward, trying to help.

“Mr. Davidson, today was supposed to be your proposal to Miss Walker. It’s not worth getting angry.”

“She’s always fighting Stella for everything. She doesn’t deserve a proposal!”

My silence made Justin and Sandra more impatient. They saw it as defiance.

Justin tucked the ring carefully into his pocket and snorted.

“Think about what you’ve done. Let’s go, Sandra.”

Sandra gave me one last look and followed him without a word, leaving me alone on the beach.

I sat curled up, hugging myself. The only thing left, and which was mine, was the veil, but even the lace on it was in a style Stella liked.

I’d chosen it because I knew Justin would like it too.

However, the proposal had failed.

When I came back to my senses, the sky had turned dark. I was still in my base layer, and home was two hours away.

As I stood there, frozen, a lifeguard noticed me.

He’d seen me arrive that morning in a wedding dress. He had smiled and wished me well, saying proposals rarely happened on this beach. I was the second he’d seen.

The first was last year for a woman wearing the same dress. Her proposal was like a dream, with flowers flown in by plane and fireworks everywhere.

It was everything my proposal was not.

He mentioned that the man who proposed to her was a CEO frequently featured in financial news, Justin Davidson.

The lifeguard saw the tears on my face. Realizing how cruel the comparison sounded, he apologized and left.

However, he didn’t know the truth.

My tears weren’t because of the comparison, but because I’d once again confirmed that I was never the one who was loved.