1

Theodore

“Have you already looked into the newspaper today?”

I close my eyes as I lock the water tank of my coffee machine in place.

Sighing, I hold my phone to my other ear while my mother continues to lecture me about my laziness.

As if I wouldn’t look for a job daily, and collect my regular humiliation between job interviews I fail and discussions with my bank.

Fucking hell.

I would love to hang up, but I have to endure her mobbing behavior as I need her monthly allowance to not have to sell my motorbike.

And the job at my friend's bar only covers my daily portion of a can of ravioli.

“Yes, Mom,” I say, but she just continues to speak, now talking about the neighbor’s boy who just started working at a hospital.

The assholes always have it better.

“Good for him, Mom,” I comment, pushing the button for my only luxury at the moment.

“And Fredrik is getting married. In Italy!” she gushes and I take a deep breath, rubbing my eyes.

“How lovely,” I groan, but she isn’t listening anyway.

And thinking that I had the best awakening ever.

It got a bit crazy in the final part, but I guess I’m officially a freak now.

“Sure, Mom. Gotta go, Mom.”

I pass my hand over my face, inhaling deeply as I cut the call after her last words of goodbye dripping with venom.

After having taken a gulp of my coffee, I enjoy the soothing sensation I get while it flows down my throat.

Feigning that it got me at least a bit of motivation, I sit down at my computer and send out a few CVs.

I don’t think it will get me anywhere, but at least I can tell everyone that I’m trying.

A few years ago, I came to New York with a bag full of dreams and hopes.

But I was just left with cynicism as the things my family and friends kept telling me about the City became true and I landed on my butt.

Hard.

Since then, I have been going on with excuses, avoiding telling them how right they were.

And I’d rather die than return back to that one-horse town where whoever smiles brighter is the happier.

Even after all those years, I’m alone, with no partner, no sex and my only friend here is an old-school friend of mine who came out here to open a bar overseas.

At least he was successful.

Even if he can’t pay me much without risking going bankrupt as well.

And I’m having a little sex, I guess.

Even if imaginary.

After eating my usual can of ravioli while standing in my small kitchen, I go to the bathroom to prepare for my evening shift at the bar.

I shower, and I am drying my hair with a towel as something catches my attention.

My eyes widen as I step closer to the mirror, pulling at the skin of my neck to inspect the two feeble red dots better.

“What the hell?” I ask lowly, as I try to get a better view of it.

***

“It looks like a bite, mate,” Alex says as he looks at it and returns to draw a beer.

I continue to clean the counter of the still-empty bar. “Yes. But from what? A rat?”

“Must be a big rat you have there. Maybe you should have it checked by a doctor,” he suggests, making me click my tongue.

I throw the rug into the sink before I go to fetch the ice. “People like me can’t afford a doctor. Only death.”

“Did you get drunk and bring a chick home? You know, one of those gothic ones?” he jokes, making me laugh sarcastically.

“I would remember that.”

He shrugs, taking the customer’s credit card to cash in, “You never know.”

They laugh while I roll my eyes and lift the heavy ice bag onto the counter before emptying it into the respective bin. “It's been a bit since I had a good shag.”

“I don’t know how, mate. If you don’t get any, we should be all damned. Why don’t you go out a bit? With your face and your figure. I don’t think you would go home alone often,” he compliments me and I smile at him awkwardly.

“Yeah, sure.”

Even if I’m not against a one-night stand, I still have to gather my courage to enter a gay bar.

And I don’t want my family or friends to discover that I’m gay because they see me stumbling out of a pub with some Hulk.

I have tried to go with matching apps and had a few dates that weren’t bad.

And a few were catastrophic.

I met a lot of attractive men who I would have loved to continue dating.

But as soon as it got over a certain line, I started to compare them to the man from the shadows and there it was.

All my interest in them vanished into thin air immediately.

And I felt so bad.

First thing for myself.

But I just couldn’t do it.

Their voices were off while his makes my skin buzz.

Their touches were enticing but his sends jolts through my flesh.

The thought of them wrapping their lips around my dick makes me hard, while he makes me feel like burning up.

I’m so fucked.

Which is funny because I’ll never fuck again.

“Hey yo, Theo,” a slender guy enters the bar, waving at me.

I lift my hand at him, and he slumps into the bar stool before me. “Are you still looking for a job, man?”

“Yeah,” I answer as I’m already about to tap his usual beer. “Why are you asking?”

“Well,” he says, holding a bill towards me as I put down the beer in front of him. “A job opened in the company I’m working for.”

I take the bill, throwing it into the register before digging out the change but he waves dismissively, making me let it fall back into it. “It’s a technical support thing. They have a problem keeping someone in that position because the hours are hell and the boss is a workaholic asshole. But the pay is insane.”

“I have no experience in tech whatsoever, dude,” I laugh and he shakes his head.

“It’s not a small company where I work at. You would be in a team of like twenty people, and they do schooling when you start working,” he explains, making my eyes widen.

Gulping, I already have a very bad feeling about it. “If there are twenty people in my team, why are my hours hell?”

“Easy, because you will be the boss’ little bitch,” he says, taking a sip.

I laugh, my throat closing uncomfortably. “Excuse me?”

“He needs someone available just for him. And this for twenty-four seven. You would only be working for him because he doesn’t want to work with a pool. You would be doubling with his PA, who, on the other hand, changes as much as the personal tech guy. He works a lot and as he does business with companies overseas, night shifts are due regularly, and the last guy that worked for him used to faint because he didn’t get the sleep he needed. Therefore, it is vacant,” he moves his glass towards me as he adds, “If you are interested, I’d call a chick I know from HR.”

I stare at him incredulously, my thoughts running wildly.

While my brain tells me that I should stay far away from that red flag, something in me yells for me to go see him.

Wait, the boss or the job?

“Please,” it suddenly bubbles out of my mouth. “That would be great, thank you.”