Chapter 4

As I follow behind them, I notice them glancing back at me from time to time. I’m sure they’re just making sure I’m still following, since my footsteps don’t make a sound. I had a lot of training back home to walk without making any noise. I didn’t want to alert anyone to my presence, or there would be hell to pay—though it’s not like I could get away from it anyway. My home pack is my prison, and I am one of its many prisoners. Man, that thought process is depressing. I wish my brain would just stop dragging me back to the negatives.

I make it back to the other trainees from my group and slip into the crowd. Someone catches my eye; my best friend, Roth Evans—a Beta from my home pack. His medium-length, light brown hair catches the sun and takes on a soft, golden-honey hue. He always styles it casually, giving him a slightly untamed, wild look. He’s the one I can go to for anything, and though we’re not related by blood, we treat each other like brothers. He and his family are one of the only sources of relief in my home pack. They’ve saved me more times than I can count and have opened their home to me whenever I’ve needed to escape and catch my breath.

Roth looks over at me and smiles brightly, small dimples forming at the corners of his mouth. His deep brown eyes lock onto mine as he walks over.

“Hey, Ray! Where have you been? I saw you get on the bus and noticed you went to the back seat. I figured you wanted some peace and quiet. Getting out of the home pack must feel like a relief, to say the least.” Roth gently places his hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring look. 

Man, am I glad he’s here with me during this run. I’m hoping he can escape the pack with me too, because I know that once I’m gone, hell is right behind him as well.

I give him a slight smile. Even though his hand is only resting gently on my shoulder, it still hurts like a bitch. I know I’ve got one nasty bruise, and possibly a fracture. Since my skin is so pale, every bruise and mark shows up quickly, looks worse than it is, and heals a bit slower due to being so malnourished. 

“Hey, Roe. I had to go grab my bag since those fuckfaces from the pack decided it would be fun to mess with me as soon as we got off the bus. Damn if I ever get a break from any of them. I’m just praying they’ll stop the shit after this, but that might be too much to ask for.” I give a sarcastic smirk and shake my head slightly. Roth looks at me with a face full of worry and concern, but there’s not much we can do about it.

A loud, angry voice rings out through the crowd.

“Alright, you pieces of absolute trash! Since you all think my words are just fucking jokes and that you can walk all over me, let’s take a second to reacquaint ourselves with the rules—since not all of you fucks got the message!

“No bullying. And when I say no, I mean absolutely none at all.

“No illegal drugs or contraband on or near our territory. That also means none outside it while you are staying with our pack.

“And I will not stress this enough—so, goddess help me—if I or anyone else in this pack finds out that anyone is forcing any kind of sexual conduct onto another person, we will personally rain hell on whoever is responsible. Inside or outside this fucking pack.

“You barbaric fucks might have gotten away with it in some disgusting cesspool, but that shit will NOT slide here. You think we’re strict now? Hah, let me warn you, you do not want to see what happens when someone in our pack actually gets pissed off.

“We are extremely protective of our own. If you behave yourselves here, you will receive that same protection.”

Alpha Draegan’s voice echoes powerfully across the area. His silver eyes sweep through the crowd until they land on me, tracing every inch of my body. Fuck. It's hard again.

I have to lower my bag again to cover the front of my jeans, hoping no one notices the raging hard-on I’m dealing with right now.

How embarrassing.

Of course, I can tell he notices something is off when his eyes flick briefly to the adjustment of my bag. My face burns, and I quickly look down at the ground.

Roth leans in asking if I’m alright, and I give a slight nod in response. I can’t exactly tell my best friend that I got a boner from Alpha Draegan just looking at me.

Damn. I feel pathetic.

Luckily, the moment passes as things start moving again, and it looks like we’re heading to the barracks.

Alpha Draegan and Alpha Colt walk over to the other Shadow Claw instructors, exchanging a few words and brief nods.

“Alright! It’s time to head over to the barracks. Everyone, form a single-file line. We’ll be at the front, and Alpha Draegan and Alpha Colt will be stationed at the back so no one strays or gets left behind!” One of the other Shadow Claw members' voices rang out.

I end up at the very back of the line, with Roth in front of me. Alpha Draegan and Alpha Colt position themselves on either side of me, keeping pace with my slightly slower steps. I glance left at Alpha Colt, then right at Alpha Draegan. Both of them are significantly taller than me. I look down at myself; at my smaller frame. Damn, I look like a woman in men’s clothing playing dress-up. Yes, I have some muscle, but years of not eating properly, and sometimes not eating at all, have taken their toll. On top of that, the constant punishments and beatings back home have stunted my growth.

I feel their attention shift over me again, like they’re assessing me without even trying to hide it. And it’s hard not to get pulled into that intensity when they look at me like that.

“How are you feeling? You seem to be walking a little slow, and your breathing sounds shallow and rapid.” Alpha Draegan’s voice beside my ear pulls me back to reality. I don’t even know when he got so close, but I can feel his breath lightly brushing my neck.

“I’m okay. Just a little tired from the bus ride here. I’ll be fine once I get some sleep. Thank you for asking, Alpha Draegan.” I try to sound calm and convincing, but it comes out small and strained. I force a smile to reassure him, though the muscles in my face twitch and it falters almost immediately.

Well, shit. So much for that. Thank you, facial muscles, for pointing out my faults.

I can tell he doesn’t believe me. He lets out a quiet sigh.

Alpha Draegan pauses for a moment, stepping in closer. His hair brushes my neck as he leans down. “Are you sure? If you aren’t feeling well, we can take you to the pack house medical wing and get you checked out”

 It takes me a second to process his words. All I can focus on is the smell of his cologne, and damn he smells good. I want his scent to stain every inch of my body; inside and out. 

Calm down damnit. 

I have to calm down and stop having impossible fantasies. Alpha Draegan waves his hand in front of my eyes, snapping me out of my daze.

“What was it that you said, Alpha Draegan? Sorry, I spaced out for a moment there.”

He lets out a deep chuckle that sends goosebumps spreading across my arms. “I asked if you really feel okay, and if you want us to bring you to the medical wing at the pack house to get you checked out. Silly boy, where has your mind wandered?”

That question is the last thing I want anyone asking me. I know exactly how badly my father left my body before I left the pack, and I can’t allow anyone to find out. If they do, I’d most likely be admitted to the hospital—and sent back home. My nerves spike again, and I can feel the tremor in my hands getting worse by the second. My breathing picks up, and my ribs definitely don’t appreciate it.

Fuck. I can’t breathe. Breathe, Raymond. Just breathe, damn it.

After a few moments of difficult breathing, Alpha Draegan and Alpha Colt both notice my condition.

“Damnit! Raymond, are you okay? Breathe! Take deep breaths. Follow my breathing.”

Alpha Colt kneels in front of me and lifts my chin, brushing my bangs out of my face so I can look directly at him. Even kneeling, he is still almost as tall as me. I try to follow his breathing instructions while Alpha Draegan gently rubs my back. He pauses for a moment, then continues even more carefully. It still hurts, but his hands are warm, and the steady motion helps pull my focus away from the pain and ground me. As air slowly returns to my lungs, I manage to force out a few broken sentences.

“Please…n-no. D-don’t bring me to the medical wing. I…I am fine, really. I can’t. I can’t go to the medical wing. I…I’m just tired and need to get to my room to rest.”

Looking into Alpha Colt’s eyes, I am practically begging them to ignore the obvious. They seem to be struggling with that decision. Why? They don’t even know me. We’ve only just met not long ago.

Alpha Colt looks over at Alpha Draegan, and they seem to have a silent conversation with their eyes.

“Alright. For now, let’s get to the barracks, and we’ll give you our personal numbers in case anything happens. We’ll set a special ringtone so we know right away when it’s you. Both Draegan and I can tell you’re not ready to open up or seek help from us right now. Just know that all we want is to help and make sure you’re safe.

“That said, our phones are always on us, and we’re both light sleepers. No matter what time it is, just send us a message or call if you need anything.”

Alpha Draegan looks at me and gives a small nod, smiling in agreement with his brother’s words. 

Damn, I want to cry. I want to stay. I want to stay here where I feel safe. And to do that, I have to hide my wounds.

I continue forward, and both Alpha Colt and Alpha Draegan keep a closer eye on me the rest of the way to the barracks. They’ve been strangely attentive since I stepped off the bus—not that I mind. I mean, who would mind two men who look like gods being extra attentive and caring toward them? I sure as hell don’t.