Chapter 5 || My Name is Laura

Nicholas howled in immense pain as the wrench successfully decoupled his family jewels from his body. Blood splattered everywhere as his body made involuntary spasms before folding from the agony of my assault. 

“BITCH!” He rasped out, in between his hollowed breaths.

“Oh! Goody, I am not yet done, honey.” I sneered down at him. Like always I waited for guilt to crawl up to my veins yet as expected none came. I should have been disappointed, right? But I don't feel anything. There’s no remorse or shame just the vast hollowness that has been dwelling inside me for a long time.

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” He said in icy cold and calm voice. His jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth in an effort to suppress the pain and his rage.

I snickered.

“Really?! As far as I can remember you did not complain while I fuck you while I let you come inside me!” I didn’t know why I was suddenly angry or defensive. It’s like something snap inside me. Maybe the fact that for the three weeks that we've been together, though it's shrouded with lies and secrecy, I know that he genuinely cares for me and I throw it all away because of my personal vendetta.

“And oh! Let us not forget how you seemed to enjoy eating my cunt while slurping down my juices like it was the world’s most deliciously made milkshake.” I continued mockingly.

His head bowed down as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

I laughed emotionlessly.

“Tell me Nic, how many had you killed for money?”

His body shook in an empty laugh.

“None. I loved what I do. The money was just a bonus.” he went silent for a minute while I just stared at him, trying to read his mind.

“Tell me Luna or whatever your true name is. How many had you killed, tortured, and used for your childish tantrum?” He's mocking me. But what he said hit a nerve. The face of my father, the woman in the orphanage who always wore bright red lipstick, and the countless faceless men who used and abused me.

They all died on my hands.

I was momentarily frozen on the spot and my mouth can’t seem to work to retaliate on his mockery. 

Those were not tantrums. I was doing the world a favor by ridding of the scums who walk with it.

He chuckled at my lack of response before continuing.

“Piece of advice love. Before you step in the limelight pointing your moral dagger, look at yourself in the mirror first and perhaps you can point that dagger on yourself. Your no better than me, Luna.” I stood gobsmacked, trying to find sense in everything Nicholas Salazar was spewing.

He points at himself “Me and…” then he pointed his bloodied and shaking finger at me “…you. We’re just the same.”

I violently shook my head.

No.

No.

It can’t be.

He’s wrong.

He must be.

I did not kill for the fun of it.

I have reasons.

“No. We’re not.” I said with as much conviction as I could muster.

“Really, Luna? Really? The moment that blade touched my brother’s neck and cut his head from his body. You’re protecting no one.”

I touch the coiled cloth on my face. I have to remember my purpose in living.

“You only kill to satisfy the gnawing lust inside you.” Nicholas spat, smiling smugly at me.

At that moment I realized that I had been a hypocritical bitch.

I am angry. To myself for being weak. To my father for breaking me that mold me the way, I am now and to humanity for being so fragile.

I am angry that I let the hollowness inside me weigh me down into the darkest pit of shadows. And let it beat me into nothingness— into someone unrecognizable.

I am angry that I let my past rule my life and mold me into an ugly mask of myself. And the saddest part is, I didn’t know who I am anymore.

I schooled features into my infamous blank expression. Not that I need it. My mask was enough to hide the tragic memories from my childhood from flashing on my face.

“Your reasons and mine were poles apart, Nicholas. Killing scums like you is my purpose. But maybe somewhere in our past, we aren’t that different.”

I added, my fingers bunched into tight fists. “I will stand my ground even if I knew that in the near future I would eventually lay into the grave I dig for myself.”

He gave me a smile full of pain and sadness. And I almost pity myself.

“Right, but you should know that we are just pawns on this game, Luna. You may haven’t seen the bigger picture yet, but this isn’t some kind of child’s play. Be careful.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I care for you and despite our current situation. Believe it or not, I still do.” He took a deep shuddering breath before continuing.

“I know there’s no getting out from here.” He laughed bitterly as a traitorous lone tear escaped from his eyes.

He went on. “I t-thought that if I keep you away from my world you would be spared from its brutality. But guess what? I am already too late.”

At these words, I felt a pinprick of ache on my chest. It could be my imagination but my throat suddenly felt dry as a sudden weight of my eyes blurred my surrounding.

What’s happening to me?

I didn’t want this feeling. This certain emotion. I felt weak and vulnerable.

“Your right! You can’t save me, no one can. But I am going to save humanity from falling apart, Nicholas.” My voice cracked and I don't even know why.

“Y-you can’t.” He rasped out, breathless.

“Everything isn’t up to y-you. The damage has been done.” He was pale due to the blood loss but what he said snapped something inside me. Like a wind that suddenly turns into a raging mass of tornado or a flicker of light that flooded like molten lava that devours everything on its path. Driven by pure unadulterated rage I didn’t even realize that I had put a crushed orange to shame.

His head was smashed into an unrecognizable heap of meat, bones, and the fluffy texture of his brain.

Gone was the flicker of raw emotion I felt instead I felt like I’d been floating into the vast emptiness of my soul. Both freeing and suffocating at the same time.

Yes, I am drowning. And I willingly let myself get drowned in the shadows of dark emptiness.

“If I would be lucky enough to live another lifetime. I will find you. But right now, I am too broken to fix and too numb to feel. Maybe then, when that time comes I could be that someone you always thought I am.” I whispered just as I throw the wrench I just used to kill him beside his unrecognizable body.

“By the way my name's Laura. It's nice meeting you Nicholas.” I took what was left of him before dumping it on the whirling meat grinder.

‘The head or what was left of it had to go too.’ I thought regretfully.

Then, I stared at the carcass of mangled bodies in front of me, admiring my handiwork. Very slowly my mouth twitched on a cruel grin. It’s done. A sigh of contentment escaped my lips as I looked at the beautiful mess I'd made. I turned to leave but stop and stared at the bodies again or what was supposed to be the bodies a moment ago expecting them to move and attack me. But to my dismay and utter disappointment, it never came. Realizing that they’re thoroughly ground to the bones I fled from the place. But not before flashing the responding police officers my most innocent and sweet smile.

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