Nicholas howled in immense pain as the wrench successfully decoupled his family jewels from his body. Blood splattered everywhere as his body made involuntary spasms before folding from the agony of my assault.
“BITCH!” He rasped out, in between his hollowed breaths.
“Oh! Goody, I am not yet done, honey.” I sneered down at him. Like always I waited for guilt to crawl up to my veins yet as expected none came. I should have been disappointed, right? But I don't feel anything. There’s no remorse or shame just the vast hollowness that has been dwelling inside me for a long time.
“I’m going to fucking kill you!” He said in icy cold and calm voice. His jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth in an effort to suppress the pain and his rage.
I snickered.
“Really?! As far as I can remember you did not complain while I fuck you while I let you come inside me!” I didn’t know why I was suddenly angry or defensive. It’s like something snap inside me. Maybe the fact that for the three weeks that we've been together, though it's shrouded with lies and secrecy, I know that he genuinely cares for me and I throw it all away because of my personal vendetta.
“And oh! Let us not forget how you seemed to enjoy eating my cunt while slurping down my juices like it was the world’s most deliciously made milkshake.” I continued mockingly.
His head bowed down as his shoulders slumped in defeat.
I laughed emotionlessly.
“Tell me Nic, how many had you killed for money?”
His body shook in an empty laugh.
“None. I loved what I do. The money was just a bonus.” he went silent for a minute while I just stared at him, trying to read his mind.
“Tell me Luna or whatever your true name is. How many had you killed, tortured, and used for your childish tantrum?” He's mocking me. But what he said hit a nerve. The face of my father, the woman in the orphanage who always wore bright red lipstick, and the countless faceless men who used and abused me.
They all died on my hands.
I was momentarily frozen on the spot and my mouth can’t seem to work to retaliate on his mockery.
Those were not tantrums. I was doing the world a favor by ridding of the scums who walk with it.
He chuckled at my lack of response before continuing.
“Piece of advice love. Before you step in the limelight pointing your moral dagger, look at yourself in the mirror first and perhaps you can point that dagger on yourself. Your no better than me, Luna.” I stood gobsmacked, trying to find sense in everything Nicholas Salazar was spewing.
He points at himself “Me and…” then he pointed his bloodied and shaking finger at me “…you. We’re just the same.”
I violently shook my head.
No.
No.
It can’t be.
He’s wrong.
He must be.
I did not kill for the fun of it.
I have reasons.
“No. We’re not.” I said with as much conviction as I could muster.
“Really, Luna? Really? The moment that blade touched my brother’s neck and cut his head from his body. You’re protecting no one.”
I touch the coiled cloth on my face. I have to remember my purpose in living.
“You only kill to satisfy the gnawing lust inside you.” Nicholas spat, smiling smugly at me.
At that moment I realized that I had been a hypocritical bitch.
I am angry. To myself for being weak. To my father for breaking me that mold me the way, I am now and to humanity for being so fragile.
I am angry that I let the hollowness inside me weigh me down into the darkest pit of shadows. And let it beat me into nothingness— into someone unrecognizable.
I am angry that I let my past rule my life and mold me into an ugly mask of myself. And the saddest part is, I didn’t know who I am anymore.
I schooled features into my infamous blank expression. Not that I need it. My mask was enough to hide the tragic memories from my childhood from flashing on my face.
“Your reasons and mine were poles apart, Nicholas. Killing scums like you is my purpose. But maybe somewhere in our past, we aren’t that different.”
I added, my fingers bunched into tight fists. “I will stand my ground even if I knew that in the near future I would eventually lay into the grave I dig for myself.”
He gave me a smile full of pain and sadness. And I almost pity myself.
“Right, but you should know that we are just pawns on this game, Luna. You may haven’t seen the bigger picture yet, but this isn’t some kind of child’s play. Be careful.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I care for you and despite our current situation. Believe it or not, I still do.” He took a deep shuddering breath before continuing.
“I know there’s no getting out from here.” He laughed bitterly as a traitorous lone tear escaped from his eyes.
He went on. “I t-thought that if I keep you away from my world you would be spared from its brutality. But guess what? I am already too late.”
At these words, I felt a pinprick of ache on my chest. It could be my imagination but my throat suddenly felt dry as a sudden weight of my eyes blurred my surrounding.
What’s happening to me?
I didn’t want this feeling. This certain emotion. I felt weak and vulnerable.
“Your right! You can’t save me, no one can. But I am going to save humanity from falling apart, Nicholas.” My voice cracked and I don't even know why.
“Y-you can’t.” He rasped out, breathless.
“Everything isn’t up to y-you. The damage has been done.” He was pale due to the blood loss but what he said snapped something inside me. Like a wind that suddenly turns into a raging mass of tornado or a flicker of light that flooded like molten lava that devours everything on its path. Driven by pure unadulterated rage I didn’t even realize that I had put a crushed orange to shame.
His head was smashed into an unrecognizable heap of meat, bones, and the fluffy texture of his brain.
Gone was the flicker of raw emotion I felt instead I felt like I’d been floating into the vast emptiness of my soul. Both freeing and suffocating at the same time.
Yes, I am drowning. And I willingly let myself get drowned in the shadows of dark emptiness.
“If I would be lucky enough to live another lifetime. I will find you. But right now, I am too broken to fix and too numb to feel. Maybe then, when that time comes I could be that someone you always thought I am.” I whispered just as I throw the wrench I just used to kill him beside his unrecognizable body.
“By the way my name's Laura. It's nice meeting you Nicholas.” I took what was left of him before dumping it on the whirling meat grinder.
‘The head or what was left of it had to go too.’ I thought regretfully.
Then, I stared at the carcass of mangled bodies in front of me, admiring my handiwork. Very slowly my mouth twitched on a cruel grin. It’s done. A sigh of contentment escaped my lips as I looked at the beautiful mess I'd made. I turned to leave but stop and stared at the bodies again or what was supposed to be the bodies a moment ago expecting them to move and attack me. But to my dismay and utter disappointment, it never came. Realizing that they’re thoroughly ground to the bones I fled from the place. But not before flashing the responding police officers my most innocent and sweet smile.
•••
I woke up the next morning in my usual cheerful self well, as cheerful as I could get. After I came home from the meat shop I took a hot shower to cleanse my skin from the splatters of blood, promising myself to take another hot shower in the morning to totally get rid of the smell. Once I was done, I skipped down the stairs to eat a quick breakfast. Mom must have gone to work while I am still in the shower. A five-dollar bill was pinned on the wall near the fridge together with a note.She’s been the Mayor’s secretary for three years. I knew she didn't exactly like her job but as long as it can feed the both of us, she'll endure it.I smiled at her sweet note that says ‘Good luck, Sweetie. Luv u.’“Love you too, mom,” I said in the air.I would be graduating from high school in a month and I'm very excited about it. Speaking of which Vince would be here any moment now so I slurped down my cereal in one go, creating a d
I was used to being in the shadows. Used of easily blending in the sea of students flooding the hallways.I am an outcast.A nobody.A wallflower.And I'm okay with it.So imagine everyone's shocked and bewildered faces when Vincenzo Romano suddenly invited me to ride with him in his car. Asking girls to ride with him in his car was Vincenzo's M.O when picking his new flavor of the week. The downside of it was you can't say no.Vincenzo always gets what he wants. If someone ever says no to him they must be prepared to uproot their life on Brakstone and live as far as possible.The Romanos were the actual hell on earth.One simple invite had made my meticulously inconspicuous planned life thrown into waste. But then, I have to start somewhere. The moment I let my existence known to Nicholas, I know I also need to get close to Vincenzo and make him notice me, damn the consequences.The next morning after the most interesti
The moment I realized that no one was coming to save me, I had become my own hero.I have killed and slaughtered without care. The truth is I don't have any recollection of how or what did I do. I completely zoned out, consumed with anger and loathing. I only saw black as I felt myself drowning in a molasses-like daze. And there's no other way out but to swim through it and to fight it.I wouldn't be here if I didn't break through that hell.After I burned down that cursed orphanage I got thrown into, I learned how hard to live in a world full of deceit and greed. A world far more worst than the beatings I got from my father.Those things were just physical.The orphanage did a number on my head. The horrible things the orphanage did to me were something no child could ever forget. It was forged and branded on every fiber of my being.The feeling of someone degrading you mentally and physically could slowly drain and kill a child's will to l
Have you ever felt so elated that you could jump on a cliff without minding if you’d break a bone or plummet to your death?How about the feeling, like the world is at the palm of your hands and you could easily crush and manipulate it to appease your ever-changing mood?Or perhaps the promised thrill and adrenaline coursing through your veins of blowing someone’s head in just a snap of your fingers?Power.That’s right. That’s what I felt when Vince finally asked me to be his girlfriend, officially. Not that I have grown to like him. That won't happen. I swear it’s nothing like that. It’s the feeling of control over him and his head that makes me giddy with excitement.I'm one step closer to my goal.Now, all I need to do is worm my way around his life and wrap him around my fingers. I want him to become my marionette—a puppet I could control.How fun could that be?Maybe more fu
A devious smile crept out of my face as I was flipped, my body unceremoniously bent over on a small table near the staircase.“You want it rough huh?” He then cupped my bare breasts from the back. Feeling, kneading, and pinching it making me squirm at the white-hot pleasure he’s sending to my core.“Give me your best shot.” I hissed, breathlessly. I heard him growl at the challenge then––the door slammed wide open.I instantly pushed Vincent off, arrange my rumpled clothes as fast as I could before rushing to my mom. Her body shook in every sob while she was holding on to what appeared to be a box containing her office things.I turned to look at Vince, giving him a meaningful stare. A conflicted look passed through his face before nodding his head. “I'll just be outside,” he murmured which I nodded my head without turning to his retreating back.I ushered mom inside her room, my h
I stood rigid on the first row of pews, my fingers bunched into a fist as I watched my mom's friends and colleagues made a beeline to throw a fistful of mud and flower as for tradition before returning to their cars.Vincenzo stood beside me all throughout the whole ordeal with his comforting presence and a permanent scowl on his face, offering his support without saying a word.The morning I came home from babysitting baby Sam, the house was swarming with police, EMTs, and reporters.It was a chaotic sight.I felt nothing as I watch my mom's lifeless body was tucked inside a body bag before getting rolled inside the ambulance parked on our lawn.No one seemed to see me and no one seemed to care to seek and give comfort to me which I didn't mind at all. Vincenzo was also there, he'd been the first on the scene when I asked him to check on my mom because she was ignoring my calls throughout the night. And besides, I just can't leave a five-year-old
It doesn't hit me until much later how alone I am or the emptiness I felt from a long ago suddenly felt heavy.I tilted my head heavenward, trying to find an answer that was most probably not there, wondering if there were really an omnipotent being watching, unseen from above that could answer my questions.I blew out a breath.My mind drifted to my adopted mother. Did I regret killing the woman that has given me everything a mother should have?Absolutely not.Do I feel sad sitting on the kitchen counter with the deafening silence around me?No.Killing Rose had been in her and mine's best interest. I either kill her to make an entrance into Vincenzo's secret life or get killed by the criminal organization by association with me when they'll discover my lies.For the nth time, I pick up my phone and stared at it, begging for it to ring or something because sometimes the deafening silence becomes too much that it feels like dr
“Vince,” a familiar-looking guy immediately greeted Vince, slightly bowing his head as we exited the house.“Bill, Ryan I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Laura. Laura this is Bill and that guy in the car is Ryan, they're my friends and also my bodyguards.“Hi, it's nice to meet the two of you,” I murmured politely, tucking my hair behind my ear.“Laura,” Bill said like his testing my name on his mouth, intently staring at me while Ryan just gave me a non-commental nod.While Ryan is a new face, I knew Bill. He's one of the boys in the orphanage. It had been eight years since we last saw each other but I knew, without my makeup, he'll immediately recognize me.When Bill continue to stare at me, Vince snapped at him with a snarl. “Bill, she's my girlfriend not one of your wh*res.”“My apologies,” He turned, his eyes troubled.After introducing me to his friends doubled a