WANTING HER BACK

Chapter 4

James

I watch her go in the direction her friend left in. Making my way back to my car in a daze. I realise how jaded I have become. Torian had been right. He called me a reprobate. Turns out I'm far worse. I pull out my phone and message all the women I have on standby with the same message. An apology and confirming it's over. I can't let go of the guilt I feel about how I treated Isabella. She wasn't wrong about anything she said. My behaviour had been vile.

I need to come clean with Torian next. I message him if we can meet up tonight.

∞∞∞

I sit in Mulligans, waiting for Torian. I purposely chose this pub as opposed to an upmarket one, not knowing how Torian will take what I have to say to him. If he decides to punch my lights out, it will be less likely for either of us to be arrested in here.

It isn't long till he comes in.

Fucker is glowing in happiness.

His smile dims slightly when he sits opposite me.

"Hey, you okay? You look like you're going to puke everywhere. Is that why you're drinking water? Wow, it must be bad," he teases.

"I just want to say I'm sorry, Torian."

His eyes narrow on me.

"James, what the fuck did you do?" he growls.

"At your wedding. I hooked up with Isabella upstairs. Afterwards, I was not very nice." I say, wincing at hearing the words out loud.

"No. Tell me you didn't? James, I've known you since, well, forever. What in the fuck possessed you to do this? But to do this to a sweet fucking kid?!"

"It was the wedding you were so happy with, Riah. Isabella looked so gorgeous I couldn't keep myself from being drawn in. So I drank and tried to avoid her. I'm a beer guy, not champagne. I was totally pissed. Using this time, I have racked my brain trying to think why I would have been such a cunt to her afterwards and I think it's because I knew deep down I panicked by what I had been feeling for her. I didn't even recall the whole interlude till a few days ago."

"Riah is going to fucking murder you. I'm going to help her hide the body, you fucking cunt. Do you have any idea what those women have been through? What their lives have been like? Oh, you bastard. Riah has been upset because Isabella won't come to see us or let us go to visit her. She keeps making excuses. Do you know what that is about?"

I frown at him.

"No idea. I drove down and waited outside her dorm building. She looked okay."

"I warned you, James. If this all kicks off, I'm going to protect Isabella."

He says, shaking his head in disgust at me.

I've never felt worse than at this point in my life.

My head goes down in shame. I swallow hard as I feel pain in my chest. I haven't cried since I was a child, but I feel my eyes burning now.

"I'm going to do whatever it takes to make this right, Torian. She told me the only way I can make it right is by leaving her alone."

"Then that's what you're going to do, James."

I glance up at him.

"No, I need to make this right with her, Torian."

"It's been over two months since the wedding. That ship sailed a long time ago. If I were you, I would look at getting some help with your drinking. Do you want to prove you're a better man? Then be one," he says.

He sighs heavily.

"I'm always going to be your friend, James. I will help you in any way I can. Isabella is family and like a little sister to me. I can't let you harm her any more than you have done already."

I nod dejectedly.

At least he didn't sucker punch me.

"Fuck, Riah is going to kill the both of us. You're coming home and confessing. I will not lose my pussy rights because your ass fucked up."

That brings a tiny smile to my face.

∞∞∞

I leave Torian's house. It didn't go as badly as expected; it went a lot worse. I freaked out when Riah burst out into tears. She threw a photo frame at me, but she had a horrid aim and it missed me by a mile. That's when Torian stepped in and told her she was going to hurt herself and the baby. He pulled her into his lap, soothing her till she calmed enough to call me every single foul word she could at me. I have to admit; she is very creative.

When Torian walked me to the front door, he looked around as if he expected the devil to appear and whispered. "Don't worry, that's just the pregnancy hormones."

"Shall I send a priest?"

He chuckled before he glanced behind him to see if his demon-possessed wife hadn't crept up on him.

"Sort yourself out, James. It's a slippery slope. We aren't kids anymore."

He slaps my back.

"Call me if you need me."

I can't find the words for a moment.

"Torian...I..."

"It's okay. I know."

I give him a tight hug. Grateful beyond belief that he is still like a brother to me. He hugs me back.

"No drinking. Detox, drink some aloe vera shit."

I grin at him.

"I'm on it. I swear."

The next day, my soul feels lighter than it has for a long time. I make an appointment with a therapist. I send Isabella a dozen pink roses. With a simple message.

'I'm sorry. I was a bastard.'

I will make these deliveries daily. She can't block these.

I smile.

I will make amends in any way possible. The worst part of it all? I was so excited to be inside her; I remember finishing before her. So not only did I humiliate her, I didn't even get her off.

I cringe at that thought. All those meaningless liaisons and when I was with the one person who should have mattered, I bungled it up.

I've spent so much time on Isabella's very active social media it's given me insight in how innocent she is. The more I have read and looked at her photo's the harder I feel myself fall for her. She is eleven years younger than me, yet she is more mature and a far better person than me. She was right to call me vile. To her, I am.

I just need to be patient and wait for her.