CHAPTER FOUR

                                                   

                                                            LIFE IS CRUEL

The following morning, I woke up to bright exterior sunshine that lit up my room. It shone on my face so brightly that it got me squinting the moment I tried opening my eyes. I bent my head to shield my face as I turned away from the direction of the sunrays. As I moved, I felt a pulsating pain in my temple which I supposed must have been from last night's cry. I held my head and shifted my gaze to where Mum laid; she appeared to be deeply asleep. 'Poor woman...,' I muttered as her plight moved me with great pity for her.

Just when she thought Life smiled at her, it hit her more badly, leaving her worse than it met her! I couldn't bear to imagine the number of intellectual scars she bore, not just from losing a family, but several others. Growing up with dysfunctional families must have denied her the fun of being a child. She probably lacked unconditional love, too.

I hissed at whoever handled her pain. "Life can be cruel," I muttered, as I recollected about the stories that she told me about her life. 'What joy does it derive from seeing this poor soul in pain?' I questioned, and grew more specific with my internal dialogue, 'Why would God even add to her pain by snatching away the major source of her joy?' I muttered the second time, 'Why?' Hoping to hear Him this time, I got more direct with my question, 'God, why?'

Feeling helpless and frustrated with his silence, I angrily voiced out, "I knew You won't answer me." I furrowed my brow and looked up at the ceiling as if I could see Him up there. With a sad pout, I gave 'Him' a hard look. If my eyes were to be a javelin, it would have... Anyway…

I fizzled out amidst my thoughts again unintentionally; this time it was loud that it almost woke Mum up, but she just changed position and continued with her sleep. 'Life forestalled that propitious moment from lasting long, offering her just two years to have a taste of true happiness and love. It took away the chance for her to present her husband with their beautiful baby she carried in her womb, as a 'thank you' gift for all his kindness towards her. It smashed the long anticipations of her life to witness the excitement exuding from her man on carrying their baby. Life didn't let her witness that winsome joy that would have enveloped her husband as he welcomed their most precious gift ever given to them. Life couldn't even hold on for him to at least see his only child,' I wept again. My sniffling got my Mum's attention, and she woke to see my eyes wet and puffy.

"Amara, are you fine? Please, tell me. Is anything the matter? What's bothering you, my dear?" She asked, searching all over my body to see if I have a physical injury. But sniffles couldn't let me explain because I suddenly developed nasal congestion and lost the voice to talk. I dropped my shoulder as if saying I was giving up. "My baby," she continued as she held my hands to encourage me, "Whatever life throws at you, see something positive about it, and avoid anything that might push you away from your lot. We all have a purpose for our creation. Daddy has fulfilled his and gone, leaving us to complete ours. The bad things that happened to us shouldn't distract us from where we're going. Life is a journey, you know?" She searched through my eyes to know if I understood what she was saying. I simply nodded, and she continued, "There's a reason for everything. Daddy left for good reason, though we might not know exactly what. If you have to survive in life, dream big and avoid negativity. Trying times would come, but you just have to stay focused and fight for your vision. Develop your ideas and uphold your dreams. Bad things don't always last forever, never forget that. Life is in phases. You can only pull through if you're hopeful and focused. Whatever happens, please, nowise give up. God bless you, my child," she pulled me towards her and kissed my forehead, then gave me a tight hug while rubbing my back with her palm, as she concluded.

"You're my hero, Mum. I really love you," I said as my nasal pit cleared, and I cheered up again.

She rubbed my back with her palm again and gently tightened her clinch in response, "And you're my sun." She released her clinch and pushed me back gently to face her. "I do not want to see you being so temperamental because of the past. I shared my story, not to make you sad but to prepare you for what's ahead. My life story should teach you that tough times aren't a death ruling. It should give you hope about the possibilities to soar high above your past. Let my story encourage you to keep pushing through. One day - I said one day, we will smile again!"

"Mother, I find it tough to describe you rightly in words. You're too good to be true! I do not think you belong here (earth). I am proud to have you as Mother. You're simply the best, Mum," I pulled her towards me and planted a kiss on her cheek.

She smiled and kissed my forehead. "Yes! Get up and get things set already. We're behind time. Buyers are up in the market, and we can't sell if we're here in the house," she said as she rose to her feet, pulling me alongside.

Mum and I live on food produce. We work for people on their ranches, and they pay us with a few cash and reward us with some of the harvested products, part of which we sell. It was our only means of survival after my extended family forcibly took all that we had. With the right mood set, we swung into action to set the day rolling.