Hideous Chloe

Standing by the mirror staring at my reflection, my hands trembled and tears shred on my jowls in trickles as I cannot recognize my face anymore. It's scarred and swollen, I'm probably hideous or a monster like my husband Xavier calls me.

A cool afternoon, Xavier stood in front of a mirror fastening his neck tie, he was donned in a black suit. He was decking himself up to leave to his office when I stepped in. My lips curled into a bright smile entranced by his suit and I walked to him.

I stood behind him and was wrapping my arms round his stomach, "hon, good morning."

Xavier pulled my hands off him abruptly with an air of disgust, and edged away from me. I felt quite confused wondering why he is walking away from me, "hon, what's wrong?"

Xavier's anger got spiked and he screamed at me, "don't you speak to me you monster!" His face was contorted.

I was flabbergasted. It was the first moment i heard him call me monster and I know monsters are ugly creatures and hideous too. I knew he is irritated with the scars on my cheeks, but I did not expect him to call me a monster. 

"Do I look that bad? Is my face now so horrible that you can call me a monster Xavier? How can you call me that?" Tears was threatening to obscure my vision.

Xavier did not feel any guilt staring into my sullen eyes. His eyes were still firmly furrowed, a deep gaze into them felt like a sharp knife piercing into my chest. 

"Is that not what you are Chloe?" He barked, "I can barely recognize the face you have. I can't bear it. I don't wanna see you, I'm fed up waking up and seeing your face each day. It's tormenting!"

A wave of fury crashed through me and I screamed at him, "is it my fault my face has become like this? It's already painful accepting this is how I look like now. You do not have to rub it in my face!"

"Can I ever have my face back? I remember asking my doctor that in my last visit to his hospital. The doctor shook his head and responded to me blatantly, "no! It's completely hopeless. Sorry."

Listening to him telling me that, felt like a thorn was piercing into my tender chest and I felt like it was going to explode. I grabbed my cheeks shaking my head as I could not believe I was going to be stuck with this damaged face for life! 

Though it has been a year since the doctor told me that, I always recall his words to me and anytime I do, I feel his voice tormenting me in my head. When I glance into the mirror, his words starts to echo in my mind, that my face is completely hopeless! And I let out tears from my eyes.

Xavier stared at me in disgust, "so what do you want from me hun? I can't stand your face! I can't stand it!"

"But I love you.., " my voice was cracking horribly, "I love you Xavier." I motioned towards him and wrapped my hands around his waist, "I love you so much." I leaned my head on his chest and pulled him closer to feel the warmth of his arms cause it had been a long while we hugged.

Xavier pulled my hands off his waist and was edging away from me as if I reeked of poop. I felt a lump in my throat staring at him exiting.

It has been months since then....

To worsen my grief, Xavier no longer kisses me, he quickly dodges when he comes across my face as if it were a plague. And my son, my love, Joshua, no longer talks to me. He's embarrassed of me.

I felt fed up of Xavier giving me the cold shoulders. I missed being around his company. I sometimes feel reminded of the weekends, I and Xavier crouch in the sitting room seated beside each other munching popcorns and staring at the TV screen. And the cool afternoons we walk together in the beach holding hands and the waves of the ocean threatening to grab the both of us and Xavier crushing me to his chest so I do not get pulled by the current.

I wanted to be in Xavier's company like before and I apeared in front of him in the middle of the night. Xavier saw me standing by his couch and he shivered feeling startled. He was not expecting to see me. He left me in my bedroom and when he left, he left me on the bed thinking I was asleep.

Xavier's brows immediately furrowed soon as he saw me and he hurriedly pulled his hands from mine when I clasped his. "Hon, what're you doing here? It's 9:14pm. You aren't asleep?"

He stared up at the ceiling to avoid looking at my face and I grabbed his cheeks steering his face directly to my mine.

"Hon, look at me. Look at me." I repeated and this time, he turned looking at my face. Still, he looked away and bowed staring down.

I acted like I did not notice his eyes looking elsewhere, "Hon, can we go out? It's been a while we did like to the beach for instance. Let's do it again." I twisted my somber face into a smile.

I always stay indoors, I barely step out. Xavier forbade me from stepping out, he did not want the Press to discover my crumpled face. It could become the talk of the town.

Rage flowed through Xavier like a lava. He sprang from the sofa he sat and gripped my arms, "how can you ask me to go out with you?" He roared and I flinched. His furrowed eyes terrified me, he looked like a fierce beast.

"Never ask that of me." He warned and his teeth clenched hard.

I pulled my arms from his grip, "but..., " I tried to speak and he cut me off, "you are pain! A total disaster! You're ruining my life!"

I felt a stab of pain hearing those words from him. I always knew Xavier is a quick-tempered man I never thought he loves his pride and fame more than he loves me. Ever since my face got damaged, Xavier never showed me to the public to protect his image as CEO of a modeling company, 'HOT'.

What are people going to think of him? That he employs exquisite models yet his wife is not exquisite. The beauty King is just putting up a show to be on Magazines. He doesn't have an inkling about beautiful faces since his own wife is not beautiful. He is afraid of such gossips rumoring in the modeling industry.

"Hon, why are you talking to me like that?" Tears escaped my eyes and I felt a lump in my throat.

"But it is the truth!" He yelped, "you are a total disaster! I wish I never married someone like you if I knew someday you're gonna have a face of a zombie."

Rage gripped me and I hurled a slap at his cheek. His cheek reddened like a tomato.

"Well it's me!" I screamed at the top of her voice he clearly saw the way down my throat, "it's still me Chloe the girl you fell in love with!"

I felt I needed to remind him I was that gorgeous lady he spotted sitting at a coffee shop eight years ago. I was gazing outside the window from where I sat and I unconsciously saw a tall well-build man walking across the road. His light green eyes and his aquiline nose entranced me and I looked outside again to glance him properly.

I stared at Xavier and he stared back at me. He flashed a wide smile at me and my cheeks blushed. He squinted at me observing my big lustrous eyes and my eyebrows which formed a perfect bow. He noticed my soft jet-black hair which cascaded down my shoulders and he waved at me. I waved back giggling like a teenager, and I bit my nail childishly.

How quickly, time flies!

I gripped Xander's arms like two foams and screamed at his face, "how can you call me a total disaster?"

"But that's what you are!" He fired back. I felt startled hearing him say that.

"Because you have a horrible face, it's going to ruin my image and that I can't accept just because you are my wife!" He screeched.

"So are you regretting marrying me?, " tears rose in my eyes like a tide, "I can understand that you are furious but don't tell me you mean it that you regret marrying me." My voice cracked as I spoke.