LAST STAGE OF GRIEF

Ace’s/Ivan’sPov

I couldn't think.

What the fuck just happened?

I couldn't fucking think, overwhelmed, by everything going on. Why were they doing this to me, strumming me like a guitar. It was humiliating and I hated it.

But a whine escaped me as Nickolai’s hand left my hair and Ivan pulled back from where I desperately needed him to be. Where… where was he going?

“Is that a complaint I hear?” Ivan said, chuckling as he stood.

“No!” I shook my head and then wondered if they would get angry for lying, “yes… please.”

God! I didn't know where I stood. They'd accepted me as a toy? Did that mean… 

“I don't know what you're begging for, little Bird,” Ivan asked, his voice dropping low, “do you, brother?”

“No, I do not,” Nickolai rumbled.

They stepped back into the shadows and the fear, once again, began to trump my arousal. I hated when I couldn't see them, couldn't anticipate when they would strike. I was being pulled in so many directions it felt like my brain would turn to mush. 

But… what am I begging for?

That they'd let me go? Walk out of here with my own two legs?

Even I wasn't stupid enough to think that would happen. For all they knew, I'd seen too much, and I'd be a threat to their organization. And why would they? Why would they let a random boy off the streets go, knowing that a wrong word from my mouth might cause them trouble?

If it wasn't my neck on the chopping block, I’d understand why I was tied up right now.

And besides, say they did. Say they had a change of heart, say I looked like someone who saved their lives once — although it was hard to imagine the Twins ever needing any type of help — and they released me back into the wild, there was still the issue of the other guy! The fucking killer that wanted to squash my fucking head for being an unwilling witness.

I'd run for the rest of my life, never knowing if someone was still chasing.  That is, if I could live long enough, outsmarting trained killers. Me. I’d nearly tripped multiple times while running up the stairs to professor Williams’ office.

“What are you begging for, little bird?”

I sighed, my chin falling down to rest against my chest. Why didn't I? Why didn't I fucking fall, smash my head and stay unconscious till morning when someone found me?

I might be in the hospital, but at least I wouldn't be here right now in this situation that made me burn with embarrassment.

“He asked you a question, pet.”

I knew what they wanted me to say. They had already decided my fate, and made it known. I was their toy. 

But they wanted to acknowledge what I was now. They wanted me to tell them I understood I was under their thumb. I hated it… and I hated them

My shoulders sagged. But I was under their thumb. It didn’t matter what I felt, it was time I came to terms with that, since it seemed all other roads led to death, and very soon.

I licked my lips. With the threat of them killing me fading, my mind began to wander to other things…

Since they’d accepted me, claimed me and, most importantly, they didn’t plan on killing me, did that mean that, if I asked respectfully, they would oblige to helping me out with this painful hard-on…?

My hips rolled, even as shame flooded my senses anew. Oh God! Even as I thought it, I wanted to smack myself. I hated myself, how my traitorous body kept selling them out…

But I knew then that I would do it, I would at least ask. My mind was so muddled, so overrun with desire. Besides, I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so aroused, talk more of having an orgasm from it. Two jobs plus such a competitive course didn't leave time to de-stress in this way.

I was glad they couldn't see my face as I spoke, “You sirs, anything you can give me, please.”

Besides, wasn't this what they wanted from me?

So I would do it. I’d play along even though I despised them. Because I was doing this to survive, just until I could come up with a better plan.

Once they had taken care of the other guy, I would ruin them.

I swore it.

__

Ivan’s Pov

I loved it when he begged, the fear in his voice.

Usually when people begged for their lives I enjoyed that too, but with Ace it was different. It awakened something primal in me, something I poked at casually and masked with my easy smile even as it burned hot in my chest.

Ever since this lost little bird had barged into our lives I’d felt a pull to him. I actually always had. 

In high school I used to watch him eat during lunch, sometimes with friends sometimes not, in that hovel our father had put us in while he was laying low. And even then, I had this inevitable ownership toward him, something I'd yet to find even now.

And now here he was, tied up, battling with his lust for the darkness. I knew I'd enjoy him, enjoy making him scream.

“You sirs, whatever you can give me, please.”

Almost resigned, shameful. 

I froze, the words echoing in my head. They were so delicious it fucking made my teeth ache.

Nickolai and I glanced at each other out of the corner of our eyes. I liked that and Nickolai liked that too, although I knew he preferred to watch his prey squirm than hearing them scream.

That statement had me harder than I'd been in weeks, even being with the most gorgeous of women and the prettiest of men.

And Ace was so pretty.

His brown hair was basically a bird's nest now, tussled into a tangled mess. It had been short wavy hair, I remembered,.shiny in the light of that warehouse. 

And his eyes, fuck. They were quite large for a man's, and such a deep, crisp shade of green. They reminded me of the foliage around the house buried deep in our resort, where Nickolai and I went at least once a year to visit Ma’s grave.

He was muscular, but in a wiry way. He should almost be six feet tall too, from what I’d seen laying him out to clean his wound.

And finally, he was beginning to catch on, beginning to understand his true position on the chessboard. Smart little bird.

“You want your cock sucked, is that it?