ARI“You are my mate, no?”“Am I?” I cock my head to the side. “Are you finally accepting me when you have all but rejected me since the moment we were fated?”He doesn’t seem to have expected that, a frown forming on his brows. “You know what I mean.”“Do I? Zade, you and I will never be. Yes, we have kissed, yes you were my first in terms of it. But that doesn’t mean anything to me. To me, you will remain the jerk who forcibly kissed me and destroyed the absolute joy of kissing for the first time.”“Aren’t you taking this-““No,” I cut him off. “I am stating things as they are. I kissed you yesterday and I admit, it was good. But that could be because you are my mate and our chemistry is meant to be there. I know why I am feeling the way I am feeling about you.“But you don’t like me, no you actually hate me.”His eyes flash and he purses his lips in a thin line. “Good to know that you have finally got that little fact.”“I have. You promised to make my life a living hell, remember?
ARI“Oh, I feel awful,” I moan as I rub my chest. “This really sucks.”“Get yourself a new crush. No, maybe explore and just be free about the whole thing.”“How? My whole world and focus point seems to be on one person and I can't move on past that.”“Try to, it won't be easy but it will help. Go out and mingle with other people outside this school.”“We are in the middle of nowhere,” I gesture around us.“Not really, we are at the centre of a very hot point. Miles away, there is a town and it is very active. Maybe if you take this as a trial, you will do well when we go back to the academy.”“And at the academy, all I will meet are more students.”“No dummy, outside the academy. In the city, and surrounding towns … you might even take vacations and travel too. Your world is your oyster. Live a little.”Live a little … can I do that?…A solo hunt.Not for boys, or for even eating but for myself.I wanted to go out with the girls but Mimi said it would be good if I started alone at f
ARIEyes are on me as I make my way to my seat.Today, unlike the past few days, it's snowing heavily. I am ready to go back to the academy, back to my own dorm and space. This place is beautiful, but I have had enough of being in close quarters with certain people.Here, you feel like you are so close and being watched all the time. There isn't enough space for all of us, even though this is a large resort enough to fit twice the group and remain more than comfortable.I guess I am just tired of the scrutiny because the whole class is now staring at me like they have never seen me.I don’t even bother to acknowledge the stares, just zipping my puffer jacket to my chin and then pocketing my hands, and eyes at the teacher.Today it's all about communal. Relationships. Cohesiveness.Everything that will remind me that I am unwanted and I am not part of the pack.“Don’t be so gloomy, we are stuck together.”Max shoulder bumps me on my side and I nod, briefly looking at her before I look
ARII might have done something that I shouldn’t have done.Not yet, at least.Here I am, out in the open facing my duel opponent, Olivia.I didn’t know it would come to this; a duel. When I told her that I could beat her, well, I didn’t know that could be termed as a challenge and an invitation for a duel.I knew I had fallen into some sort of trap when she had only smirked and told me to meet her outside where there was plenty of space to prove that ‘little’ theory correct.Max had stiffened next to me and Zade… well. It's his girlfriend and his fated mate dueling, indeed he could have said something.Anything.He didn’t and he isn't going to, not when he is acting like this whole thing is an inconvenience for him and acting all nonchalant. I want him to go, or do something but he isn't, he is just here, listening to Olivia talk where they are all gathered.The legacies.There aren't any other people around, as the other group is out somewhere doing their assigned tasks it's just us
ARII see white behind my eyes when she throws me on the ground with my back, I think my back might snap in two.Breathing is heavy, I think my lungs are punctured.Something heavy presses on my chest, and I feel like I am choking. I cough up painfully, and something travels on my mouth corners.I think someone is screaming and shouting, and then the pressure is gone.“Ari,” someone is shaking my shoulders. “come on, don’t pass out on me, Ari? Ari!”Max. Max is here.“I don’t think you are allowed to be a part of the duel unless you want penalties.”“And you think killing her is going to be a fair match for you?!”“get out now while I am being nice to you. This is between me and her.”“no more, the duel is over, she is down.”“no, the duel is over when I say it's over.”“This is insane! Zade, come on, don’t you see she is killing her?!”“get out now max, I know I can take you too. If you don’t want me to hurt your friend any longer, step away.”I try getting up but my whole body is in
ZADE“How is she?”Max is furious. She can't even look at me, and I know she would shout and even hit me, but she can't. But I know why, I didn’t do well, and this time, even a cruel person like me understands why I shouldn’t have done what I did.It's not what I did; it's more like what I didn’t do.I watched Olivia being beaten and humiliated like she was nothing. All legacies were there as we watched, not batting an eye even as Olivia tried to choke her and drown her in her blood.I didn’t do anything, not even try to stop the duel that was very unbalanced and unfair, all in the name of wanting to remain impartial. If I showed Olivia that I cared about her, then she would have been I trouble.But … what trouble? She was already going through hell in her hands. Does it go darker or worse than what she got? No.I was juts a shitty person, a cold person like she has told me over and over again.“You don’t have the right to ask me that.”I don’t, but it feels like the right thing to do
ARI“Who are you texting?”I slide my phone into my pocket, just as Max sits next to me on the bench. “Oh, no one.”“It looked serious.”“It wasn’t.” Just my new dad, telling him I might be taking his offers after all. All the things he has been trying to offer me I am finally saying yes to them.Mr. Parker is elated, judging from the numerous thumbs-up emojis he has sent back. He has told me that I will be ready when I get back to school in a few days.I am over this boot camp.“Come on, let's join the others.” I don’t want to but Max takes my hand and we start walking to one of the rooms we will be spending the day in, getting close and all.They are all in, seated at the round table. The room is designed as a circle, to help with the cohesiveness of the people in something about how buildings have different frequencies depending on their structures.I don’t pay anyone attention, not as I put on my earpods and sit by the window, away from them, and take out a book I brought. I have
ZADEShe has changed.It's in the way she is talking and interacting with others, or lack thereof.It's in the way I can't seem to be getting under her skin anymore. Even the way she is looking at me nowadays, like she can see me but not really. As if she is looking right through me. Together and in front of me but not truly with me.It's annoying me.We are back to the academy, thank hells for that because I couldn’t take more of that camp any more. I dont want to be around her, so close yet so far away and I don’t know how to even fix it.She was starting to look at me differently, too. It started as wariness, then to fear and then to something akin to … familiarity. Comfortable.But now it’s something I hadn’t seen from her before. She is looking at me like I don’t matter at al. she can see me and in her mind, I simply don’t matter, don’t hold anything of importance for her to regard me as anything but someone who she has to deal with in the specific moment I am with her.I don’t l
ZADEShe looks peaceful. Like an angel, sleeping like this.But when has she never felt or looked like an angel? I sit down on the leather chaise in the master suite, eyes trained on the massive bed that seems to swallow up her small, lithe figure.She is mad at me.I am mad at myself, too, if I am being honest. I keep forgetting impprtant shit that should be automatic when it comes to ari but then I fucked up again. I can’t keep fucking up, it’s going to cost me largely and I won’t be able to live with myself.I think I know what she needs the most. What she is asking the world for, her mother, what she is asking me for. What she is asking herself.Being with me is threatening all of that, I know it. I can feel it too, like this deep truth just below my consciousness, and I must act on it, or I will lose her. It’s not defined, it's not named, but it's there. I can feel it, and if I focus on it, I can most definitely almost put a name to it.To this feeling that Ari wants and feels m
ARI“I shouldn’t have this conversation while I am seeing two of you, but I need to let it off my chest, otherwise I will not say anything. You need to understand that one day I will be gone and you won’t ever see me.“Maybe I won’t have said something and you will think that everything is fine between us but it’s not. So this is me telling you that one day, I will leave you because me and you, we won’t end up together.“I can’t be with you. I can’t be with anyone. Mother is safe now and all I have left is one year to get done with school then I can do what I want the most. But then you … you have plans. You are set.“I certainly didn’t see this coming, you being my mate and all. But that shouldn’t confuse me or you that I will stay and continue doing life as if it’s perfect. It’s not perfect. I am not perfect, and it’s okay. I like it this way because t
ARINow I am his mate, then I will be his crowned wife, then I will be told to perform this and that for him, for the pack, for the kingdom.None of that for me. All will be stripped of who I am, what is mine, and be dressed in what is his. Be in servitude for the rest of my life, and for what? Love? I don’t believe in love.I never grew up in love long enough to believe in it, long enough to let it impact me in a way that, by believing, if I stay by Zade’s side, all will be okay. I am jaded, messy, and broken.He got mated to a disaster, and he knows it. He doesn’t even know what he wants for himself, but he has the privilege of that being thought for him.I might have misjudged him in the past as this cruel, mindless prince that is spoiled and such, but I wasn’t far off.But despite it all, I know that I have no future with zade. I can’t tell him that though, and it hurts somewhere I my chest to think I will h
ARII nod, exhaling softly. “I see.”“I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed you to understand that some things are serious. Worldly things are impactful.”That makes me want to laugh, but I can't find the strength to. “I guess I wouldn’t know.”“Come on, why are you bringing that up? I thought we were talking about the beautiful views and the oncoming summer.”“You keep forgetting that I am not a child, Zade. You treat me like I am porcelain that can break any second if left unattended, and think that I don’t have brains.”“It's not like that. I want to protect you.”“Patronize me. I don’t even know why I am surprised. You are just an asshole, an alpha asshole who thinks that they know better and the rest are just his minions who couldn’t think for themselves.”God, this is why I hate packs. Being patronized, led like sheep, told to do this and that, not allowed to think on your own, especially if you are a female wolf, mated to a goddamn prince of the goddamn kingdom.I am not eve
ARII never wanted to believe in knights.Having someone there for you to take your needs seriously and follow them through … that’s something that I never thought could happen for me. Yet here I am.Zade asked me to be with him this summer, to take a break with him, and all I wanted to do was be away from what I had come to know. I needed to escape my reality for as long as I could, and when I told him that as long as he took me somewhere far, I would have fun, then yes.So now I am watching the ocean. The wind is ruffling my short hair, the salty, cool breeze caressing my skin, and the sound of the waves, the calming subliminal noise of the ocean, is making my heart start feeling peaceful.He took it seriously. I wanted to get away, and he took me to a beautiful island that I didn’t know existed. It's so beautiful. Palm trees, mountains, ocean, green everywhere, it looks like it's out of a fairy land.I don’t know how he does it. How he manages to catch me off guard and floor me aga
ARIZade is letting me take what I need from him, this time letting me have my way on my terms.It has been that way from the very beginning, but tonight, it's like he wants me to take care of myself using him and, in a way, take care of himself too, by using him.So when I guide him and press him on my opening, we both freeze, breathing heavily before I urge him with a pull of his hips to push inside me.And heavens, it feels delicious. The stretch, the feeling of him opening me up as my walls accommodate him until he is fully seated inside me …I contract, squeezing him, feeling the girth inside me and I want to swallow more of him, suck him in and keep him there … it’s a heady, good feeling.“Why won't you love me?” The hoarse whisper makes me open my eyes just as Zade looks at me. He is …crying?“What?” I ask, eyes wide.“Why did you say you can't love me?”“Because,” I shift, and we both groan. His hips jerk in response, and he starts moving slowly. He has forgotten about the que
ARIWhen the body is exposed to extreme cold, at some point, it stops supplying the less important parts with blood in order to save the vital organs.It has been quite similar to me. I have spent most of my life just functioning, and apparently it has been necessary for my body to cut off supplies to some of the things anyone my age would deem normal to have.There hasn’t been a case where I could feel anything other than flight and flight. But eventually, here I am.My body is thawing, slowly coming to life, and it feels so good.Zade’s tongue is slicking inside my mouth, seeking and touching every crevice inside. His body is pressed to mine to keep me up, one thigh pressed between my legs, one hand grabbing my butt, hips flushed.I am weak at my knees. I want him, I can feel him, and I am floating. I know I am kissing him, but I am also falling and falling, feeling safe that he will catch me.It’s a dam that has been let loose.He is mine. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should feel g
ZADE“But then it will be another, then another… if you can be swayed so easily, then is it even worth it?”“I wasn’t swayed easily. You and I know that there is more to us than a bond between mates.”“Hard to believe that when all that connects us is that.”“Our parents do connect us, too. Do you think we wouldn’t have crossed paths if we hadn’t been mates?”“We could have, but you would be intent on killing me or destroying my life like you did at the beginning.”“That’s true. But you can just chalk up my feelings and invalidate them, simplify them to one variable.”“It’s the only thing that is making sense. I mean, here I am, sitting in your love sanctuary, surrounded by your memories with her, and yet you are telling me it's me you want. What about her? Why was it so easy for you to just leave her?”“If you hadn't shown up, I already knew it would rather be her that I pretended with, cosplayed my inner wishful thinking even though it wasn’t true.”I close my eyes briefly before lo
ZADEThere is something dark, alluring, and compelling about Ari Silvers that I have never been able to fully comprehend.Her beauty and magnetism are not the traditional kind. It's raw, demands that you see her, revere her, and ache to be close to her, so you can bathe in it.She is beautiful in the traditional sense as well, but then you look again. And again, and again. You are drawn in, wanting, needing, desiring, and even wanting to corrupt.She is pure, she is dark, she is innocent, but also twisted. She is all that you wish you could hold and covet to yourself, but you cannot. For it is not to be held by others and coveted, stolen, but to be looked at, worshiped, and if you are good, to be bathed in.But never yours.She is sitting on the rooftop.I followed the feeling of our bond, and I am surprised, a little unsure why she would be here. This is where she fell, almost to her death after all.Her knees are pressed against her chest as she looks at the far distance, lost in wh