I sleep too much, and when I wake up I'm alone in the bed I share with Arina.My first thought is toward fear.Where is she? Where is she?But I feel calmer when I see Reeina sitting on the floor, sewing among a hundred strips of fabric, distracted.Fen would never have been so calm if something had happened to Arina.The two developed a loyal friendship that sometimes makes me jealous.Reeina looks up from her seams as soon as she sees me sit on the bed.— Oh, Lyn Kim. I'm glad you woke up. Would you like to have your meal now?I can't help but notice that she looks much better compared to the previous days.— No, Reeina. I am fine. Where is Arina?— Lyn Arina asked me to take her to the cold baths as soon as she woke up. She didn't want to disturb her sleep. You can join her if-… A loud knock on the door startles us both.We look at each other for a second before Reeina stands and leaves her seam to go open.I'm still in bed when I get this almost disturbing feeling in my legs, even
I tighten my arms around myself.I think I look guilty enough. I don't need to answer.He breathes out through his nose.I don't look up.I don't want to see your face.I'm feeling quite ashamed of myself. I don't need any more encouragement.— I imagine that what I'm going through isn't even half of what the women of your people go through every year — I try to joke about it, but it comes out very strange.I curl up tighter against the fireplace wall, feeling small, unhappy, and too uncomfortable.— You must leave, Miguel — I insist. — You can't stay here near so many females in this state.When his silence continues, I look up.The wolf is looking at me and I can't read his expression. He seems very angry, but somehow curious.I see him swallow hard, making some inner decision that I have no part in.— Are you… suffering…? — he asks softly.The irritation in his voice was gone.It's so soft and gentle that I barely recognize it and after all, when I resume any coherent thought it's
I just want you not to stop what you were going to do.— Look at me — he asks hoarsely, in a tone that leaves me completely shivering with desire. — Look at me and I'll know I'm not hurting you.I nod, so does the wolf, so it's as if some kind of deal was reached between us.His hand returns to my leg.It takes all my willpower not to close my eyes.I bite my lips, look at his wounded ones, and have the almost irresistible urge to lick them, but I stay where I am. I squeeze the sheets with my hands and spread my legs further apart.Miguel's hand finds my sacred parts.The brushing is hard, a little clumsy, and yet delicious.He runs his knuckles through the soft, wet, warm folds, and we make similar noises. Our faces very close.I push my hips up against his hand and get even better friction.I think I'm smiling. I feel smiling.The relief is like a cool breeze in my belly.It's delicious.I definitely liked that.- Like this? — Miguel asks low and hoarse, with his deep voice that mak
It is assumed that now, under any circumstances, Michael's body is forbidden to anyone other than his queen. Reeina has said it a million times. The fen don't even look at him directly. Well, no servants look. Even the tzauri look down on him as he passes. That means I shouldn't have opened my legs and my sacred parts to him. And I did that. Worse; I want to do it again, as it's barely gone before my discomfort returns.The relief was only momentary.I'm even more restless than Arina, who only had cold baths and tea.The baths are closed. All the ice water is gone again. So I alleviate part of my suffering with so much tea that at dinner time I'm not hungry. I'm full and irritated because my sacred parts ache in waves now, like a pulse.I glance at Arina, who seems relaxed reading in the armchair, sitting on her legs.— Has your discomfort gone?It takes her a moment to look up from the book, distracted.- Well, yes. I feel better.Is this due to the cold shower... or is heat like an
It's better to speak quickly and end the matter.— I couldn't allow you or your wolves to kill me — I begin. — The Goddess only allows her Daughters to go to her white fields if they die by her own hands or by the hands of another Daughter. When our island was invaded by your-... — I bite my lip, wondering if I should continue blaming him for this. — When wolves invaded our island, my Sisters ate poisonous seeds to prevent our power from falling back into the hands of men. I thought only I was left. I had to take my own life to join them. I couldn't allow you or anyone else to kill me. That's why I didn't tell him I didn't have powers. If I told you, you would kill me.— No — Miguel says simply.His eyes never leave mine as he speaks.— You had saved my life. I would never hurt her. If I had known she had no powers, I would have found some way to reward and protect her. I kept it because I needed its power. Without that there would be no reason to arrest you, Kim.My face falls. I fee
A happiness full of peace overflows from my chest, even though my heart is beating so hard that I can barely think.The discomfort and pain passed.I can feel myself smiling, even if it's not voluntary. My entire body covered in a layer of comfortable warmth.I could sleep now...I feel Miguel moving and look down, and even that takes a lot of effort.He is back on his feet, and looks at me with intensity. Not my almost naked body, but my face.The wolf is really looking at me.I have a feeling he's going to say something important and I sit down.— Mig? What-...— I want to serve you until the end of the erben — he says without even a hesitation, as if he had already thought about it before. — Three or four more days, right? I'll stay in the fortress. Come find me. Here. I will wait for you. I will ease your pain. No tea or cold showers for you, Kim. Just me. It doesn't matter how many times a day you need it. I want you to come. Curse! I wouldn't let her go. I could chain you to my
With the end of the erben, things return to normal in the Tarus fortress. The next day, very early in the morning, I see through my window the wolves returning.They are legion.I never thought there were so many.Even Arina seems happy with the normality of things, but the first thing she says to me is:— When can we leave?I don't have a concrete answer to give you and I promise I will talk to Miguel about it.The problem is: I don't want to talk to him.As much as I miss him and the pleasure he gave me, I also resent our last conversation and the proposal he made to me.I've only thought about that since I left you in your throne room.Tzauri.What an idiot.All the pleasure of being under his mouth would never make up for the humiliation I would feel whenever he was gone and I knew he would be doing the same to his queen. It's not like he could promise me he'd never be with her like that. It is something that is expected of him; let him have children with her. For this to happen,
I invent a million things to do so I don't have to ask for an audience with Mig, however, at night I notice Arina's restlessness and convince myself to leave my childishness for another time.I wait for Reeina to come out with the plates and cutlery from our last meal before straightening her tunic and heading for the door.I give Arina an uncertain look, but she encourages me with a smile.I'll go ahead.The guard soldiers are at their posts and don't move as I pass them, yet I feel their eyes on me as I walk down the corridor.Over the last few days I've made the journey to the Wolf King's throne room so many times that it's no surprise that my legs carry me there without me thinking too much. But this time I won't be going to open my legs for him. It's a more important question. A question on which my freedom and that of Arina depend.I stop in front of the wooden door and hesitate.The guard in the hallway looks at me but doesn't move.I take a deep breath and knock once, then onc