Chapter 15

The sound of Aunt Beth’s horrified gasp cut through the air like a knife, freezing me in place. I felt the color drain from my face. My heart pounded in my chest, fear and guilt twisting in the pit of my stomach as I turned to face her.

She stood in the doorway, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief as she watched us. Caleb’s arms were still wrapped around me, his nose nestled against my neck. The air was crisped with tension as we both realized the situation.

“What on earth are you two doing?” She demanded, her voice sharp with anger as she walked to us, her gaze flickering between Caleb and me.

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. My mind raced, scrambling to come up with an explanation that would satisfy her growing fury, but all I could do was stand there, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. I was freaking scared!

“Carl is just outside, Sasha!” she hissed in anger.

“Aunt Beth, I can explain,” Caleb began. He released his grip on me and took a step back, his expression guilty as he met her eyes.

“Explain? Explain what, Caleb? That you’ve been sneaking around behind your friend’s back, lying to him this whole time?” she exclaimed, her words laced with betrayal and hurt. Her anger boiled over, her voice rising to a controlled volume.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Beth,” I whispered, panicking inside. “This is...this is a misunderstanding. We want to tell you—”

“Sasha,” she gasped, her eyes flashing with indignation. “You’ve deceived Carl. I’ve warned you. Carl is just outside and yet you’re on each other. How can you betray my son?”

Tears pricked at my eyes. Her words cut through me like a knife. I wanted to defend myself, to explain the whole situation to her, but in the face of her anger, I felt powerless. I felt scared.

If she believed I had betrayed Carl simply by being with Caleb, what would she think if she discovered the truth of our relationship? The mere thought made me feel weak. A sense of dread and apprehension grilled in my stomach.

I couldn’t bear to see her disappointment and anger directed toward me, not when I cherished her kindness.

Caleb stepped forward, his expression unreadable, but she met him with a furious glare. “Aunt Beth. We never meant to come to this. We love Carl, both of us do—”

“—Love?” she scoffed, her voice dripping with scorn. Her anger showed no signs of abating.“Is that what you call this? Sneaking around and lying to your friend’s face love? You’re treating him like a fool?”

“That’s not what we intended,” he protested. Caleb now looked frustrated.

I swallowed hard as I reached for Caleb’s arm. “Aunt Beth, if you could just let us explain and finish our words.” A tense silence descended upon her. Her judgment might crush me with a suffocating force, but it’s now or never.

Summoning every ounce of courage I had, I squared my shoulders and met her gaze head-on. “I’m with Carl,” I began, my voice steady despite the trembling of my nerves. “Yes, but I’m also with Caleb.”

The words hung in the air like a heavy fog, but her silent gasp was clear to my ears. I held my breath, waiting for her reaction, unsure of what to expect.

Seconds stretched into eternity, and I could no longer meet her eyes.

“Mom,” Carl entered the kitchen. We all looked in his direction. His eyes widened in realization.“Oh, fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “You just told her?” He was by her side in a matter of seconds.

“I did,” I said. “She saw Caleb hugging me from behind.”

“I’m sorry,” Carl said, turning to her. “I should’ve told you sooner. We just didn’t know how. Sasha has been worried. I know this must be difficult for you to hear, but Sasha means everything to me. Neither of us wanted to give up on her, so she chose to stay with us. I can’t let Caleb have her alone. If I had to share, I could live with that.” He rushed his words.

I was growing embarrassed. After all, I was the subject of this all. I saw Aunt Beth’s expression soften as Carl spoke, her eyes reflecting between surprise and understanding. She reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair away from her son’s face as she absorbed his words.

“I love you like my own son, you know that,” she said softly, her voice filled with compassion. “When I saw it, I was scared and hurt.” She sighed, shaking her head. “But I appreciate you being honest with me now. It’s not an easy situation. It’s not even...natural. This arrangement...is not something I ever expected. It’s not... traditional.”

Carl chuckled. “I know it’s unconventional, but if I have to fight for Sasha, I will.”

Aunt Beth’s brow furrowed with concern, her gaze flickering between her son and me, and Caleb as she struggled to come to terms with the reality of our situation.

“I will fight for her,” Caleb said with an unwavering voice.

I felt like a bomb had just dropped on me through Aunt Beth’s gaze. Both admissions from them still did something inside me. I felt giddy with happiness. “I...I want...I need them both.” There I said it with a loud gasp.

Aunt Beth looked conflicted. Her eyes looked between us three, then sighed heavily. “I don’t want to intrude in this relationship, but I just hope you all understand what you’re getting yourselves into. I don’t want to see any of you get hurt. If you excuse me.”

..

I couldn’t sleep. I missed them. I seemed to get used to being cuddled by them at night even if they were just a couple of nights, but tonight, because of what happened, I told them they couldn’t sleep here tonight, to their disappointment. They looked cute, though.

A soft knock startled me, followed by Aunt Beth’s voice. I hastily got up and opened the door.

Turning the side table lamp, Aunt Beth took a seat on the bed, a small smile gracing her lips.

“I’m glad you’re still awake.”

“I can’t sleep,” I admitted shyly.

She patted her side and beckoned me to sit. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier, my dear. I was merely shocked.” She chuckled. “And very worried about Carl. Actually, about all of you. I hope you forgive me.”

“It’s me that feels so sorry about it.” I shook my head lightly. “I made you worry, and things just went downhill from there. I’m sorry, Aunt Beth.”

“Sasha, honey,” her voice gentle yet firm. “I want to ask you something. I know this is difficult, but I want to know if you have truly understood the gravity of the situation. This whole thing can’t be a game. I’m not against this. I understand that they are not difficult to love. They are good men.”

My stomach hollowed where this could lead to.

“Do you really love them?” she asked.

My heart pounded in my chest as I struggled to find the right words to express the tumultuous emotions swirling within me. “I...I care about them. And I can’t help how I feel. I... I want them both.”

“Sasha, sweetheart,” she said softly, reaching out to gently cup my face in her hands. “I know you care about them both, but this... arrangement, it’s not sustainable. You’ll only end up getting hurt.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to her, the truth of her warning ringing painfully true in my ears. But despite the fear and uncertainty that gripped my heart, I knew that I couldn’t d my feelings for Caleb and Carl.

“I know, but I can’t just turn my feelings off. I tried before, but they insisted. I tried to stop, but it slowly broke them. I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Oh, Sasha. I understand that you’re trying to protect them, but you have to realize that this... situation, it’s not healthy for any of you.”

I felt a lump form in my throat. “I know. I may be selfish, but I’m happy that I can make them happy. It’s wrong but I feel right with them, Aunt Beth. I’m happy with them. I don’t care even if that defies the norm. I care about them, Aunt Beth. Choosing one will hurt the other, and I can’t even choose between them.”

“Sweetheart, I can see that,” she said softly. “But sometimes, the hardest thing to do is also the right thing. You have to think about what’s best for all of you in the long run. Not just now. Are you really ready for the judgment that people will throw upon your relationship? Can you bear it when one day one of you realizes that such a relationship won’t work?”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I struggled to come to terms with her words. It was a painful truth. “I don’t know what to do,” I admitted.

Aunt Beth squeezed my hand reassuringly, her touch comforting. “It’s not that I am judging, but I’m trying to help, Sasha,” she said gently. “You’re all young and exploring life and love. But sometimes, we have to make difficult choices not only for our own well-being and happiness but for them, too.”

Why did I feel like I had just realized the negative side of getting involved with two men? Had I been too impulsive?

“Sasha, sweetheart, I know this is difficult to hear, but you have to consider the reality of the world we live in. Society can be harsh and unforgiving, especially towards relationships that fall outside the norms.”

“But why should I let society dictate how I live my life?” I countered, defiant. “Don’t I have the right to love whoever I choose, regardless of what others might think?”

Aunt Beth shook her head, her expression pained. “Of course, you have the right to love whoever you choose, Sasha,” she said gently. “But you also have to be realistic about the challenges you’ll have to face. People can be cruel, and they won’t hesitate to judge and condemn you for your choices.”

I felt frustrated. “But why should I care what other people think?” I demanded, my voice growing with passion. My happiness mattered more than their opinions.

“Your happiness matters, Sasha,” she said, reading my mind. “But you have to think about the long-term consequences of your actions. Are you prepared to face the backlash and stigma that will inevitably come with your relationship?”

I bit my lip, struggling to find a response. On one hand, I wanted to believe that this was real between us. But on the other hand, I couldn’t ignore the harsh realities. I remembered Antonette. Caleb even tried to divert her focus so she wouldn’t pry into our relationship. I was jealous, yet I couldn’t say straight to her face that Caleb was mine because of...fear...fear of what?

Fear of everything that Aunt Beth was telling me now.

“Maybe... maybe you’re right,” I conceded reluctantly. Sadness gripped my heart. “Maybe we should reconsider our relationship.”

“I’m not saying you have to give up on love, Sasha,” she said gently. “But sometimes, it’s important to take a step back and reassess what you really want in your life.”

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing and I struggled to breathe. How could I possibly turn away from this feeling I had for them? After everything...

It hurt. It did hurt. My heart felt so tight in my chest that I could hardly breathe. I couldn’t just pretend that my feelings for them didn’t exist.

It was painful. But she was right. I had to think about the bigger picture here. I had to consider things between us. At school, Caleb and Carl were popular men. I couldn’t possibly tell every woman to fuck off because they were mine. Could I even do that?

Everything she said struck a nerve. It scared me.

We were all young, and one day they would get tired of me. They would realize they needed not to share when they could have any woman they wanted.

Saying goodbye to them would kill me.

“Can I ask for a favor?” I said, wiping the tears that didn’t seem to stop.