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148. Denial.

Author: AlphaKelly
last update Last Updated: 2025-08-30 23:07:56

Alex’s Pov

Silence. Heavy. Cloying. I could hear my own heartbeat raging in my ears. And I was sure I could hear his. His eyes, blue, piercing, they held me in place. I stared back, unable to look away. I needed to see, needed to make sure. To make sure this was just another lie.

It wasn't.

He was not lying. Not this time.

And I knew that because….. Because the words were an echo of the pull in my chest every time I saw him. Every time he looked at me. Every time he fucked me.

“No." Denial. Safer.

He said nothing back. As though the admittance of those words had erased his ability to speak another word ever again.

“No." My arm stung where he had held me earlier. Tried to stop me leaving. He always tried to stop me from leaving.

He said nothing still. Not with his mouth, but with his eyes, he said everything.

All the words I'd longed to hear. All the words I'd yearned to say back.

But not this way. Not like this. Not now.

Not with what I knew now. Knowing who he was. W
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  • Taming The Beast: His Ruthless Desire   155. Dead Cold.

    Alex's Pov I woke up with the taste of dried tears in my mouth. My clothes were rumpled and the sheets were bunched up on the floor. I must've battled with myself in my sleep. It had been years since that happened. It used to happen a lot during the months following… I tried to push the thoughts out of my head. Memories. Dreams of memories. My legs buckled under me as I struggled to get on my feet. My fingers were shaky, clumsy. The room felt cold. Too cold. I stumbled my way to the bathroom, holding onto the walls for balance. The bathroom was clean and ironically bigger than the last one. I gripped the sink and stared into the foggy mirror above it. My mouth hung open as my parched throat screamed for water. My skin was clammy, my eyes sunken. I splashed some water in my face and gulped some down directly from the tap. It was cold. Too cold. Just like Matt was cold. Dead cold in the ground. I dragged myself back out, my legs giving way as I reached the bed. Cold.

  • Taming The Beast: His Ruthless Desire   154. His Deception.

    Alex’s Pov Everything went back to normal for the next couple of days. It was the weeks leading to graduation so the school was buzzing with activities and excitement. I couldn't go a single day or hour without thinking about what Matt said that night in my room. He hadn't brought it up again and I decided not to either. But each time we met, each time we looked into each other's eyes, the same thoughts seemed to be going through our heads. We were running away together. Frankly, I would've preferred to simply say we were leaving rather than running away. I didn't know when or how, but I trusted Matt. If he said he was going to do something, bet your sweet ass he was going to see it through. I daydreamed constantly about the future we would have. About the yacht and cars and champagne on the deck like Matt had said but also other things. The times that would come before that. It would be hard. New York was a big city. Maybe an unwise choice for two small town gay boys

  • Taming The Beast: His Ruthless Desire   153. Wishful Thinking.

    Alex's Pov Stay angry Alex. Be strong. I mentally told myself but Matt was making silly puppy dog eyes at me and it was getting pretty hard to keep the giggles in. “You were being an ass. And we said no secrets. Matter of fact, you did. Those were your words, remember?" He blew out a breath, "And I know.” He walked to the foot of my bed where he sat. “I also said we needed to trust each other more than anyone else.” “Trust has nothing to do with…” "It does.” He gazed up at me with sincerity shining in his eyes, "I'm not doing anything wrong, I need you to trust that." I sighed and sat beside him, “Nothing wrong and nothing illegal?” “Well..." He began and then smirked at the disbelief on my face, “I'm just messing with you. Nothing illegal. I promise." He laughed and poked my arm. “Still not gonna tell me who that guy was." “He's not important." He scooted closer and drew his face to my neck, “This is important. Us." The kiss was gentle. Followed by another. “I to

  • Taming The Beast: His Ruthless Desire   152. The Ass Who ‘Loved’ Me.

    Alex's Pov His hands flew around as he gestured widely. Seeing Matthew flustered was new. And a little jarring. He was usually so composed and in control of things. The boy he was talking to on the other hand seemed pretty unfazed. His shoulders sagged with the arrogance of an over confident and nonchalant adolescent. He spotted me first and said something to Matt who turned. I waved at them and he gave a tiny wave back. They exchanged a few quick words and the other guy hurriedly sauntered away before I could get to them. Odd. “Hey you." I said and watched as Matt put on a smile with great effort. “Hi. Fancy running into you here." He chuckled nervously. “You knew I was going to be here. I told you mum was having me pick up some flowers for Mrs Ingram's funeral.” I raised a brow. "Oh, right. Must've forgotten.” Matthew never forgot. It was one of the reasons I adored him. I could tell him the most random or mundane things I had planned and he would remember all of

  • Taming The Beast: His Ruthless Desire   151. Off Grid.

    Alex's Pov I had no idea when sleep came. When Luca tapped me awake, my muscles felt like lead and there was a low throbbing just between my eyes. We'd stopped in what looked like an abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea what the time was, only that it was still dark out. I stepped out of the car, wincing as my legs protested the sudden movement. Luca watched me closely. “You okay?" He asked gruffly.I nodded and he turned to face the man I hadn't noticed earlier. Maybe because he was dressed in all black and blended in with the darkness and the sleek black Ford SUV behind him. The man looked at me with mild interest as he handed the keys over. “No trace." Luca said to him. “Copy." I got a jolt of surprise as I realized what they were talking about. “Can't we just return it? Come on man, the poor guy might not be able to afford another car anytime soon.” I looked from Luca to the other guy whose interest had gone from mild to amused. “He was

  • Taming The Beast: His Ruthless Desire   150. Orders.

    Luca’s pov “WHAT THE FUCK “ Alex screamed. Grabbing at the window sill to gaze open mouthed at his phone smashed on the tarmac in the distance. “What the hell did you do that for?!" "Holding onto it is risky. Don't wanna get tracked.” I shrugged. "Tra….it wasn't tracked. It's new!" He groaned in despair. “And we'll get you a new one, but that one's been compromised." “You don't know that for certain." He moaned mournfully. “Yes I do,’’ I growled at him through the rearview mirror. "Whoever sent you that document has access to your IP address and consequently, your live location." "You want to get rid of it. Get rid of the evidence.” Alex yelled in indignation. "Get rid of… I'm trying to protect you, Alex. Don't you fucking see that?!" I yelled back. “Who were they? If you really want to protect me you'll tell me the whole truth!” "I don't know who they are yet. But we're going to find out.” I gritted out. "We? There's no we, Luca. I want nothing to do with you." H

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