Chapter 3

There was an awkward stillness; Harvey, Elliot, and I were all silently staring at one other.

I tried to look down, but I knew that doing so would make me a coward, and I was done being one; instead, I was going to heed Sandra's advice and just tell him how I truly felt.

"Harvey, what did you say?" Elliot questioned as he walked in, wearing one of the Christmas PJ trousers I got him, no shirt on, and God, I was trying not to look at his chest.

"I… nothing, I-"

"I love you." I cut Harvey, who was sputtering, "Yes, Elliot, I love you, I've always loved—”

"Stop! Please stop; what kind of sick prank is this?” He seemed angry, which surprised me since he normally laughed at things like this. I was still his friend, so...  

"Calm down, man, please calm down."

"Don't ask me to calm down, did you hear what she just said?"

"Might be joking." Harvey, who was always attempting to save me, stated as I was taken aback; Elliot never yelled at me; was my love for him so ridiculous? Was I that ugly?

"I know she's not joking." He said something that gave my heart a little hope as I cautiously gazed up at him: "Chloe told me."

"Um… she… Whoa…" Harvey had nothing really to say.  

"Do you know she texted me last night to come and pick her up, saying her car was at the service only for me to meet Chloe with her photographer whom she knew I would mistake for something else because I told her I felt like Chloe was cheating on me."

"Is this true?" Okay, this time Harvey looked at me.

"Yes, she set me up, I almost lost the love of my life all because of her little crush." Once again, Elliot became annoyed. "Man I'm so tired of Alexis's behavior, she always tries to break us up, I mean I should have seen, yesterday when she was celebrating."

"No, I don't think she would do that, they clearly have been some misunderstanding here, you need to calm down and hear her out."

"You saw she told me she loves me, I mean, that's absurd; I regard her as my bro; how can she possibly love me?" –His bro?

"Man-"

"No Harvey, I am tired of Alexis's hate, every girl I date is a problem for her, remember back in high-school?”

"Okay high-school is like three years ago, can we not do this now?"

"Yeah, I can't do this, I'm tired and I think it's time I do something about it." He said, and I felt him walk away, leaving me staring down, embarrassed, trying to calm my heart, and, of course, dumbfounded.

I wasn't disappointed, though; I'd always known; I simply don't know why I was doomed to love him so much.

I felt Harvey's touch on my shoulder and pulled it away as I headed toward the door.

"Lexis, please wait, where are you going?" Harvey tried to stop me, but I rushed out, and when I got to the living room, I saw the brown bag of burgers and fries.

I should have saved more of my tip instead of spending it there. I can't believe I'm such an idiot; that money could have gotten me far.

I pushed the bag off the table, causing it to fall to the floor, where Harvey picked it up. "Please sit," he replied.

Harvey was my other friend; he was the most concerned of the three of us, perhaps too kind, as he was always so sweet to give me a foot massage when I returned home fatigued from the night shift.

Jake, my third apartment neighbor, even taunted Harvey about having a crush on me, which he neither denied nor accepted, which made me happy because I didn't view him that way.

"Wait, where are you going?" Again, he followed me out; I was quick to get in the car and lock myself before he could stop me, "Alexis?"

"Harvey, leave me alone! Please!" I screamed before starting the car and wiping tears from my blurry eyes.

I reversed it and drove aimlessly. I kept wiping tears from my eyes because my heart was in anguish, as if someone was pricking it.

Elliot was my first love, and even when he never paid attention, I still hoped one day he would.

Last night, I had just told Sandra that I was over him, and texting him about Chloe was merely to keep an eye out for him, but when he told me he wished I was his girlfriend, he gave me hope.

This was not the first time he had done this; he constantly offered me hope, just to crush it later. Their breakup normally lasts a week or even months, but this time it only lasted a few hours after giving me a sense of security.

I didn't notice I was going to Sandra's apartment until I was parked in front of it; I didn't move, stayed in the car, and continued wiping my tears.

She probably wasn't home yet, but the lights were on, and it was dark now, so I knew her boyfriend was there.

I reached for my phone and was ready to contact her when it started ringing in my hands, and after seeing the caller ID, I almost didn't pick it up.

 "Alexis Sanders, when was the last time you sent your mother money? You ungrateful child, three weeks and nothing; you know your mother does not have a job; how am I expected to survive, or do you want me to die?”

"No, mama, I…" I held my breath for a second before telling her I was having troubles. "Papa didn't pay my exam f*e and I haven't been able to reach him."

"I am dying, I need some money Alexis, get a second job."

"I can't get a second job mama, I have school."

"Then quit school, or why else are you in LA wasn't it for the job opportunities?"

"Mama?"

"I'll be put out tomorrow if I don't get some money.”

"What? Papa, didn't you pay your rent this month?” I inquired because dad always provided spousal support of $7,000 per month and mom was living alone, so where was that money?

"I used the money for something else, what? You're questioning me now?"

"No mamma, I… I will see."

"Don't see, send the money first thing morning, understand?" I bit my inner cheeks to keep myself from crying.

"M-mama?"

"What Alexis?”

"How did you deal with dad choosing another woman?"  

"Alcohol, I'm going to hang up now, remember, tomorrow okay?" And before I could beg her not to, she disconnected the call, breaking my heart even more as I was reminded that I had no family, which was probably why Elliot rejected me.

Chloe… Chloe came from a wealthy family, just like him. Of course, my father had it well, which is why he was friends with Elliot's father, but he was now married to another woman, and as far as I was concerned, I was the daughter of an unstable woman.

Even before the divorce, my mother had lost her mind; everyone knew she was unstable.

Perhaps being rejected by men runs in the family; according to the stories I've heard, my grandmother, who committed suicide, was exactly impregnated by a married man and left to suffer.

Perhaps my obsession with Elliot, a man who had no feelings for me, was a family generational curse!